Submitted by Kimberly Dienes, guest blogger.
This week on Wednesday, the state Appellate Division of New York determined that open-hand spanking of an 8-year-old boy at a party was ‘a reasonable use of force.’ According to an article published on the case in the New York Daily News, the perspective that spanking does not constitute “excessive corporal punishment” is a common finding in courts across the country, regardless of the type of spanking (hand, spoon, or paddle), and the frequency and duration of spanking (several times a day, once a week, one spank, 37 spanks). After yet another case involving child corporal punishment has hit the courts, we must turn once again to the question of whether child corporal punishment should be regulated, or perhaps even prohibited, by law.
The moral issue of child corporal punishment has been hotly debated, with people on either side arguing on the basis of personal experience, race, religion and culture. However, personal opinion aside, when we address this issue in our lives or in our laws it’s important to recognize several facts that have been well established in psychological research: a) spanking doesn’t work nearly as well as other behavioral techniques and b) it leads to immediate and long term negative consequences for the child.
Spanking is a form of behavioral modification called “positive punishment.” If you want to increase the frequency of behaviors you engage in reinforcement, positive or negative. If you want to decrease the frequency of behaviors you engage in punishment, positive or negative. Positive refers to adding a stimulus, negative to taking it away. Some examples are: giving gold stars in class for good behavior (positive reinforcement), cleaning your room to avoid mom’s nagging (negative reinforcement), spanking to reduce cursing (positive punishment), taking away allowance to reduce cursing (negative punishment). The majority of child psychological research suggests that reinforcement works better than punishment for learning. Punishment is moderately effective when employed immediately and consistently, but otherwise it just doesn’t work. Reinforcement is much stronger as a behavioral modification technique for children (interesting study on why).
Secondly, research has shown that spanking leads to a host of negative consequences. There is a wonderful meta-analysis by Gershoff (2002), where she summarizes the results from 88 studies on child corporal punishment and clearly supports point b. She reports that corporal punishment does result in immediate compliance (sometimes), but also immediate aggression. Corporal punishment actually reduces long-term compliance, and increases long-term aggression and antisocial behavior. There are a number of articles out there about the negative mental health effects of spanking as well.
Statements a and b are relatively well known and empirically supported, however the question remains whether the legislative branch of the United States should regulate child corporal punishment. 31 countries worldwide, with Sweden leading the way, have passed legislation to prohibit all child corporal punishment, with the US as a notable exception. The US is one of two countries along with Somalia that hasn’t ratified the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child that recognizes the human rights of persons under 18. Approximately 90% of American parents have spanked their children according to polls from 1999 and 2005, and rates are relatively consistent. No US state prohibits corporal punishment, although 31 states and the District of Columbia do prohibit corporal punishment in schools. Most states do have statutes addressing child corporal punishment. Alaska has my favorite statute, because what on earth could constitute reasonable and appropriate non-deadly force (and incompetent people?! But that is another issue)?
“When and to the extent reasonably necessary and appropriate to promote the welfare of the child or incompetent person, a parent, guardian, or other person entrusted with the care and supervision of a child under 18 years of age or an incompetent person may use reasonable and appropriate non deadly force upon that child or incompetent person”
Most states have statutes against excessive corporal punishment of a child. This begs the question of what exactly is excessive corporal punishment? Straus and Gershoff provide reasonable definitions of corporal punishment:
“Corporal punishment is the use of physical force with the intention of causing a child to experience pain but not injury for the purposes of correction or control of the child’s behavior” (p. 4).
“Behaviors that do not result in significant physical injury (e.g., spank, slap) are considered corporal punishment, whereas behaviors that risk injury (e.g., punching, kicking, burning) are considered physical abuse.” (p. 564)
But a spank or a slap can result in significant physical injury depending on a number of factors. Further, it is almost impossible to determine cutoffs for mild, moderate, and excessive corporal punishment. In clinical practice, we are mandated to report anything that might leave a mark…but, for how long? How much of a mark? Is spanking once a week ok? What about spanking once a week, but with a wooden spoon, and lasting for an hour? The marks might be gone the next day and let’s face it, can be very well hidden. What about how hard the individual hits? I know that a wooden spoon in the hands of a heavy weight boxer intent on mayhem is a whole lot different than a wooden spoon in the hands of my 94-year-old grandma.
When a child has bruises and broken bones we are relatively certain excessive corporal punishment has occurred, but how do we determine what is acceptable when we get into the grey area where spanking resides? What about those mild and moderate corporal punishment categories where a child still suffers but isn’t going to the hospital? Who is going to take into account frequency, duration, strength of perpetrator, age of child, mechanism etc. of spanking and tell us that it is “acceptable?” I cannot conceive of a failsafe algorithm that would tell us whether a spanking is acceptable.
Therefore, based on the statements that spanking doesn’t work as a behavior technique, it leads to negative consequences for our children immediately and later on in life, countries who have banned it have shown very positive consequences, and that it is almost impossible to provide general criteria for excessive corporal punishment, why don’t we just prohibit spanking all together and create some legislation to that effect?
Sadly, realistically speaking, I don’t see us going black and white and banning all child corporal punishment any time soon on a countrywide basis. One argument against it is that we would be arresting 90% of parents. However, in Sweden, the social service representatives don’t immediately arrest parents for spanking their children, they will tell them it’s against the law and give them some support materials; and the transition to uphold the new legislation was moderate and smooth. But we aren’t Sweden. Assuming, knowing the US, that we aren’t going the route of Sweden, we can start with good personal steps. Can’t we as individuals realize that irrespective of whether spanking is ethically unacceptable, it really doesn’t work? Research has shown that parents who read literature illustrating how useless spanking is a behavioral technique tend to stop doing it or at least reduce the frequency, so let’s start there. Then let’s get some state legislation going against child corporal punishment.
Take a look at the definition of child corporal punishment above. Corporal punishment involves causing a child pain. I bet we can think of something better to do to help our children learn.
“The views expressed in this posting are the author’s alone and not those of the blog, the host, or other weekend bloggers. As an open forum, weekend bloggers post independently without pre-approval or review. Content and any displays or art are solely their decision and responsibility.”
I agree also that use of corporal punishment by schools should be banned. That is strictly under the prerogative of the parents, especially since public schools are government agencies.
Mespo, apparently so.
Annie:
“Some times kids just need a good spanking and I think some people here are way over-thinking the issue.”
*******************
It’s a cycle, Annie, that blinds the victim from getting help. Psychologists call it denial or the need to make the abnormal be normal. Being beaten three times for the same offense is abnormal by anyone’s standards. That’s why professional help makes sense for her.
Kimberley jumps right into controversy on her first post.
Good stuff.
It is a state law issue.
That said, what JT said.
Squeeky, your opinion is wrong and maybe some folks don’t have kids for a good reason.
@annie
“NO Squeeky, kids do NOT sometimes need a good spanking. Wrong.”
That is your OPINION. My OPINION differs.
Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter
@annie
I was spanked BECAUSE I was loved. I was told that almost every time I got spanked. My parents weren’t going to let any personal wussiness or angst get in the way of seeing that me and my sister were properly raised.And that meant that if we had a spanking coming, we were probably going to get it.
Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter
NO Squeeky, kids do NOT sometimes need a good spanking. Wrong.
Squeeky, I’m glad you were loved despite being spanked. I think it’s possible to love one’s child without spanking. It’s more difficult perhaps to discipline effectively without spanking, but it’s possible and IMO a better alternative. I adored being a mother to young children, now adults and adore being a grandmother, my daughter is a wonderful mom, doesn’t spank, has very well behaved children who are respectful and kind and can be taken anywhere, with NO spanking. It’s possible with MOST children.
@annie
Gee, do you really think that you have to tell people that there are many different ways to discipline a kid??? My goodness but you must think we are all totally stupid or something. Of course, you don’t have to grab the paddle every time a kid screws up. But that doesn’t translate into “you should never grab the paddle.” Some times kids just need a good spanking and I think some people here are way over-thinking the issue.
Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter
If you do spank your children NEVER..NEVER should it be done in anger. Like JT, I had a temperate father. The only spankings I ever received were involving safety or defiance. The safety aspect was poking around a light socket, getting to close to fire, etc. It was a quick, one slap that got your attention. The defiance was you were told to do something once. The second time I was forced to do it. Usually not a slap, more a quick tug to the assigned task. I would later learn that’s the way to train dogs! It drives me nuts when I hear parents whine OVER AND OVER again, “Jason come here, Jaaason, come here.” I have spoken here the history of the Spinelli rule, “Men do not hit women, and to that rule there are no exceptions.” That is how my father was raised because his mother was abused by a prior husband, nearly killing her. So, while I did spank our son, never our daughter. I think that’s a good rule.
Ms. Dienes great post. Thanks for the time you take to put together this thought provoking piece.
Please keep your hands off of my child –
MY child NOT yours – Just because someone has alphabet soup behind their name does not give them the right to tell anyone how the MUST raise their child. Professor – I respect you greatly but if you wait til you can ‘take away their electronics’ or their car – you have probably lost the battle.
There is nothing government does that it cannot (and eventually will not) over react to. Where does this end? A prescribed list of what a parent can and cannot do? Words they cannot say? A prohibited tone of voice? Because I can tell you hurt in my mother’s voice was more painful than any spanking. And fathers angry voice would shake any youth to their core.
Government cannot tell a parent how to raise their children. We are liable for our children’s acts. Government tells me what I can and cannot do then said government best be prepaired to foot the bill for any bad behavior.
Your rights end at the end of my child’s nose-
@annie
And children aren’t ALL well behaved either. In my life, I see a lot of my friends who hate being mothers because the kids run them, instead of them running the kids. But my parents enjoyed being around us, and we enjoyed being around them. We all knew our proper place, and life worked.
Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter
Squeeky, getting in trouble at school gets attention and discipline from my daughter and son in law with my grandkid’s, but doesn’t mean that a spanking ensues. There ARE methods of discipline that are effective without hitting the child.
Good to see you back Kimberly and credit is due for your writing.
There is something I might caution on the legislating corporal punishment in the U.S. If something was immediately enacted making it more restrictive than most state laws are presently there would be too shocking for parents who have been socialized to their present practices are now unacceptable and illegal. Interestingly, I suspect it might have the same effect as you describe with children in that the punishment might not necessarily change the behavior immediately.
Furthermore, there is a perception carried, often times understandably, by parents who worry they might be subject to arrest and their children removed if they spank the child. I saw this often in my former line of work. Even more disturbingly I saw those fears warranted in that Child Protective Service went after the parents and occasionally removed children where it was clearly unwarranted and actually did more harm to the children than any spanking would have.
If we as a society begin to remove corporal punishment as an element of child development it needs to be done through education and programs of parents so that eventually society will more universally embrace these notions. Jumping into a legislative fix suddenly is going to be more harmful than good.
Moreover, the U.S. has diverse cultures living within its borders and many have different views of corporal punishment.
@annie
Over the top? No, it was par for the course where I grew up. If you got in trouble in school, you also got in trouble at home. If I ever have kids, it will be the same. My father used to say some parents just didn’t love their kids enough to paddle them when they needed it. Over time, I have learned that he was right.
Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter
My grandchildren and my children went everywhere with me and I never needed to use the threat of violence to make them behave. Children aren’t all holy terrors if they aren’t spanked and as a matter of fact I’ve seen the kids who were the neighborhood bullies tended to come from families that spanked to excess.
@messpoo
Of course it is true. And I don ‘t regard it as “sad ” today. I did back when I was a little kid. But I learned early on that the world didn ‘t revolve around me, and that I was not a special little snowflake. I learned that there were rules of behavior and that I was expected to follow them. My parents could take me and my sister out in public and we weren’t squawling holy terrors.
That is just the way things were, and it was a better way than what I see now. Some of my friends have kids, and I can ‘t stand to be around them. They ‘re just total brats and my friends resort to constant screaming, hollering, and hand wringing when they would all be better off if mommy slapped the crap of them.
Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter
As a side note, divorce also has long lasting negative effects on children, and can be emotionally devastating for them to go through. But it would be madness to ban divorce.
I agree that in many cases, spanking causes unintended side effects, such as anger issues. It also can teach children that adults hit when they’re mad, and that they hit people smaller than them who can’t hit back. Plus, there is some irony to saying something like, “Don’t hit your sister. WHACK!” Most of the time parents spank because they just don’t know what else to do, or everything they’ve tried isn’t working. For some, they have anger management issues themselves.
Although I agree that spanking is usually not the best option, I disagree that it should be outlawed. The issue is not that spanking causes injury; a spanking that hard is physical abuse, and there are laws that address that. Laws to prohibit spanking are proposed because research shows that spanking causes negative effects in children. So does verbal abuse, authoritarian instead of authoritative parenting, ignoring children, centering your world around children, permissive parenting, spoiling, one spouse not backing up the other spouse, a less than ideal diet, too much screen time, lack of exercise . . . the list of ways that parents can go wrong, proven by research, is long, and is the reason why so many parents blame themselves for any problems their kids face. It’s a lot of pressure to do everything perfectly, or else your child will be doomed to years of problems and therapy.
Legislating the “best” way to parent is a slippery slope, and it sets a precedent. Not only would the vast majority of parents have to be arrested for spanking their kids, but now their every parenting decision could be scrutinize, with the state determining that it knows best.
One is also to consider the dismal state of affairs of the foster care system. Kids in foster care are more prone to drop out of school, be over-medicated, engage in crime, and end up in jail. Jails are full of foster kids. So it’s not like there is this nice, soft safety net of expert, caring professionals that will start raising the children of 90% of the couples in America.
I say, only actual physical or mental abuse and negligence should be legislated (as it already is.) Education and parenting workshops are great ways to expose parents to new or better techniques.
Because, although spanking can have negative consequences, so can permissive parenting. I recall being in a restaurant on a date years ago, and the kids at the table next to us were wrecking the place, loudly. They were not toddlers, but elementary school age children. We actually got food on us. The parents were at a complete loss as to what to do, and had no control whatsoever. Apparently, leaving the restaurant did not occur to them.