Virginia’s Augusta County school board is in deep deliberation this week after a request of an 11-year-old girl, Grace Karaffa, that she be allowed to circumvent a zero tolerance rule. What is the little demon trying to bring into Stuarts Draft Elementary School, you ask. Heroin? Crossbow? No, Grace wants to bring in ChapStick to keep her lips from bleeding. That’s right, the little Chaphead was caught red lipped in class by a teacher who confiscated the tube. Personally, I am thankful that one school is fighting chap heads who often use peer pressure to get other children to moisturize. ChapStick is a known gateway product to more dangerous products like hand lotion and Deep Pore Scrubs.
At the time of the confrontation, the teacher said that other children might be allergic. It appears that ChapStickitis is common in Augusta County. It appears that ChapStick exposure is a more serious health concern than exposure to bleeding lips.
I have long criticized zero tolerance policies that have led to suspensions and arrests of children (here, here and here and here and here). Here is a prior column on the subject (and here).Children have been suspended or expelled for drawing stick figures or wearing military hats or bringing Legos shaped like guns or even having Danish in the shape of a gun. Even a student who prevented another student from continuing to cut himself was suspended for taking possession of the razor and dispensing it.
In this case, Grace was just trying to keep her dry lips from bleeding. The elementary school backed up the teacher, of course, in another mindless application of zero tolerance. Grace however took her chapped lips and went to the school board. A board member questioning Grace on their proposal and expressed concern that ChapStick would be a distraction to other children (apparently more than bloody lips). Notably, Grace’s lips were bleeding at the time but that did not offer a mitigating circumstances. They are still studying the issue.
Notably, Grace’s lips were bleeding at the time but that did not offer a mitigating circumstances.
In the meantime, the Augusta County Schools Superintendent is standing by the fight against ChapStick, saying that it is a health concern:
“Health officials were concerned that the sharing of items like Chapstick, lip gloss and other lip balm products among elementary-aged students might well have been contributing to a serious infectious disease outbreak . . . The school division chose to control the use of these products not because of a concern that they are inherently dangerous, but out of a concern that they may have been a means for the transmission of disease.”
How about a rule that students cannot share ChapStick? The same risk would occur from sharing milk or cookies.
Grace however has attracted one big dog, Pfizer, to her side. The manufacturer of the lip balm insisted “ChapStick has been used safely by millions of consumers for more than one hundred years.” So where are the 100 ChapStick pushing, lawyer-warriors from Pfizer? That would have been one board meeting that I would have attended.
However, one board member is already warning the town of the implications of ChapStick in the knickerbockers of their children:
You know Dredd, it’s amazing when teachers enforce some rules and not others…. Makes you wonder if they taught the required curriculum the same way…
I have been watching a lot of Korean mini dramas lately and on one the teen boys are using more lip gloss than the girls. As a teacher, when my school went nuts with a rule like this, I overlooked it. I just didn’t ‘see’ the lip balm in the student’s hand.
Demon stick!
As petty as this is, it shows how we get ridiculous and extremely cruel situations in the USA & abroad where a simlpe cure of Cancer is banned, highly taxed or legislated in favor of cruel ‘treatments’ like kemo therapy & radiation. There should have been ten thousand marches against the White House or AMA by now. We have no guts or no brains, maybe both.
If you think this is funny in the public education system…. The for profit schools just kick em out, no headlines no accountability to anyone but the shareholders…. Sick either way you tag it….
I hope Professor Turley gets the chance to address this school board in a legal capacity at some point.
You know, I used to be shocked that so many people were home schooling. I think I’m beginning to understand . . .
There seems to be a brain drain in the public education system.
And, having lived in VA, the winters are cold and dry. Yes, I myself used Chapstick, and I enjoyed it! I used it in full view of teachers. I think I even used it in church. I shamelessly flaunted my lip balm in every way.
I suppose since asthmatic children are prohibited from carrying their life saving inhalers with them, obviously they also cannot be trusted to take care of their own chapped lips on their own. Having rules and announcements against sharing personal products would make no sense whatsoever. Too rational.
JT should consider doing columns for the Onion. Hilarious. But, this is the education industry that is entrusted w/ our children. It needs to be dismantled and reconstructed w/ smart people and folks who understand and respect the Constitution.
Its Virginia for Pete’s sake. That is the issue and problem. A state overrun by idiots and Confederates!
When they outlaw chapstick, only outlaws will have chapstick. Loose lips sink tall buildings in a single blow. What comes round, goes round. If a bear poops in the forest and no one sees it then who cares? The school sounds like it is in the State of Myopia. I can see why humans home school. We dogs keep it simple sailor. If we were a human in a prior life then we already know how to read and write and have a memory of all that we learned in past lives. So we don’t need school. The poddy training thing is mostly for those dogs who were not humans in a prior life. Except for the humans who were from NYC in a prior life. They need poddy training and speech lessons on the Dogalogue Machine. When they say: Turdy turd and a turd they really mean 33rd Street and 3rd Avenue. It all goes down hill from there. Thank Dog that we don’t get many dogs who were humans in a prior life who came from NYC. Most were too corrupt to make it. Repeat offenders.
Glad to hear that a student bleeding at school isn’t a health risk to herself and others. So they certified she had a clean bill of health for all blood borne diseases? Does this only apply to healthy children or do they make exceptions if the student has HIV or other blood borne diseases. I expect blood on text books won’t do anybody any harm, and blood on her clothing can only help the school image. Rules are rules!
let me understand….can’t have Chapstick in class for health reasons, but can have possible disease-ridden illegal kids without health exams sitting next to our kids in schools. don’t want to upset them of couse!
This is government being government, incapable of independent judgment and discretion.
Having power sometimes dulls the brain in its common sense section. Clearly there are those on the school board so afflicted.
out of a concern that they may have been a means for the transmission of disease.”
How about a rule that students cannot share ChapStick? The same risk would occur from sharing milk or cookies.
Captain Obvious should have been at the meeting….LoL
Litigation strategy: Practicing Medicine Without a License
Each state has its own definition of what it means to practice medicine, though these definitions involved the same general type of activity.
A person practices medicine whenever he or she attempts to diagnose a patient, treat medical conditions, prescribe medications or treatments, or perform surgery.
The unauthorized practice of medicine also includes advertising your services as a physician, or holding yourself out to the public as a physician, doctor, surgeon, or someone licensed to practice medicine.
While any instance of practicing medicine without a license is a crime, some actions are more dangerous or harmful than others and states have laws that provide additional penalties for such acts.
Depending on the circumstances of the case and the state in which the crime occurred, practicing medicine without a license can be charged as either a misdemeanor or felony offense.
Because of this, the severity of the potential penalties associated with this crime differ significantly among states, and even among cases in the same state.
Well, good, I got past Word Press with the Fart word, so I dont have to resort to Pig Latin on that one. I guess one can fart on this blog but not employ the itchBay word.
We have this problem back on my Planet Remulak. The best way I can describe it in human terms is that we have a dictator animal who runs the smart ant farm. Farts are the issue. We are strange looking creatures to your eyes because we pass gas from under an armpit. We have political sides to the aisles on our planet and if you artFay out the right side then you are considered what you people call “conservative” and if you artFay out the left side then you are considered “radical”. A dictator in one ant farm has decreed that there be no left wing artFays during class. So, a smart ant from the farm developed a sound deceptor which allows the ant to issue a quiet artFay. Now we have a political party developing which is known as the Silent artFays. I have to use your Pig Latin to get past your Word Press censor, but I think that most of you will understand what I post here. This is all in jest of course because we are really from France.
Get her pediatrician to Rx Shapstick, they sue!
Thank you for your humor in writing this. The schools are continually getting more ridiculous!