Can You Guess What This Man Was Charged With?

AR-160909757-1.jpg&MaxW=315&MaxH=315Felix Reagan presented a rather curious alleged burglar for police . . . after they took a look at the family dog.

Reagan allegedly broke into a home during daylight hours. He proceeded to steal various items but then also elected to paint the family dog purple.

He did not make probable cause or prosecution particularly challenging: he was found with prescription pills and a driver’s license and credit cards with the names and address of the victim. Oh yeah, he also had purple paint all over his pants.

To make matter worse, he allegedly tried to kick out the windows of the cruiser and kicked a police officer twice.

He now faces breaking and entering in the daytime with the intent to commit a felony, larceny of a motor vehicle, destruction of property, cruelty to animals, possession of a class A substance, possession of a class E substance and two counts of assault and battery on a police officer.

10 thoughts on “Can You Guess What This Man Was Charged With?”

  1. OMG, this has been up for hours and nobody did a Purple Dog Poem???

    Pack O’ Deliriums???
    A Child’s Poem by Squeeky Fromm

    I never saw a purple dog,
    That is, when I’m not drinking. . .
    Sooo, if I saw one sober it
    Must be DT’s*, I’m thinking.

    And why, oh why a purple dog?
    Is the next thought I’d think. . .
    And why not the traditional
    Pachyderm who is pink???

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

    Notes: * DT’s is short for Delirium Tremens. About which Wiki says:

    Delirium tremens (DTs) is a rapid onset of confusion usually caused by withdrawal from alcohol. When it occurs, it is often three days into the withdrawal symptoms and lasts for two to three days. People may also see or hear things other people do not.[1] Physical effects may include shaking, shivering, irregular heart rate, and sweating.[2] Occasionally, a very high body temperature or seizures may result in death.[1] Alcohol is one of the most dangerous drugs to experience withdrawal from.[3]

    Delirium tremens typically only occurs in people with a high intake of alcohol for more than a month.[4] A similar syndrome may occur with benzodiazepine and barbiturate withdrawal.[5] Withdrawal from stimulants such as cocaine does not have major medical complications.[6] In a person with delirium tremens it is important to rule out other associated problems such as electrolyte abnormalities, pancreatitis, and alcoholic hepatitis.[1]

    Obviously the above poem is based on Gilette Burgess, the guy who invented the razor’s, famous poem, to wit:

  2. We need more state mental hospitals and we need lax laws for locking wackos up and throwing away the key.

  3. His charge is probably escaping from the mental health wing of some institution, failing to take his Haldol, or failing to go to the Crisis Clinic when he was desperate for help.

  4. He should have stolen some Clearasil. Regarding the purple dog. Obviously his tribute to Prince.

    1. Tin, you beat me to it! Ha!

      Apparently it was a case of reincarnated revenge…

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