Bizarre, Criminal law

God Is My Co-Defendant: Criminal Defense in Florida Proves To Be Less Than Divine

imgresJohn Haskew of Lakeland, Florida presented a novel defense to his charge of diverting $7 billion from a bank. Haskew told the court that he was justified in making the transfer because “Jesus Christ created wealth for everyone.”  He has now given up the ghost of waiting for divine judgment and pleaded guilty.

 

He is facing a maximum sentence of five years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

While Haskew told investigators “he believed he could obtain wealth that Jesus Christ created for him,”prosecutors insists that it was not divinity but debt that led to the crimes.  Haskew was in debt to the federal government.  He used a  bank routing number to fraudulently make  70 transactions worth $7 billion with that routing number.

The result is a criminal stint without chance of divine intervention.

 

 

44 thoughts on “God Is My Co-Defendant: Criminal Defense in Florida Proves To Be Less Than Divine”

  1. Hold on a second. He stole $7 billion and faces a maximum penalty of only 5 years?

    1. You left out the part about the fine of $250,000.00 which leaves a mere $6,999,750,000.00 of ill-gotten gains.

      When he gets out he may have a new career as an financial consultant regarding the safest place to direct that wire transfer. When all those late nights start to pay off, where should you open that off shore account?

      Lucky he didn’t shop lift in VA, he could be looking at 10 years and restitution.

      1. bfm – I just do not understand why there is no restitution with this crime.

        1. Had he wired it to one of the seven Muslim countries Obama and Trump listed he would be considered a hero by many on the left.

  4. At least folk like this guy and shkreli expose the economic structures of our empire as what they are: rotted. Within the us empire it’s more noble to destroy whilst exposing than to build whilst promoting. Haha have fun in Guam. Hahahaha public interest promotion.

    1. On the contrary, it exposes the fact human nature has never changed and it IS our economic structure that caught him.

        1. Does it happen “all the time” because of the economic structures or because of human nature? WHY do we have economic structures in the first place? Why is it that you KNOW it happens all the time? Human nature is WHY it happens and it’s because of our economic structures that you KNOW it even happens.

          If our nature wasn’t to do bad things then no protections would be necessary, no government would be necessary. It’s also because of that nature we cannot trust even those that build the economic structures or the government whose job it is to provide that layer of security.

  6. My bride and JT are the only 2 people I know who use the phrase, “Given up the ghost.” It’s like they walked right out of the 1930’s.

    1. Most of this blog appears to have recently walked out of the 1930s… but for the alt right revival in recent decades, this blog wouldn’t exist.

      1. I though the dude in the picture was Richard Spencer.. Has there been a post about how poorly that neo nazi has been treated at the campuses?

        1. Likely no.

          I don’t think this blog has even covered the intercepts findings of FBI secret powers and its abuses of citizens’ civil liberties (even though jt profits off a brand of supposedly promoting the protection of civil liberties).

          If you are truly interested in civil liberties, this blog is merely a lesson in observing frauds and good branding. Otherwise, there are a plethora of other outlets providing genuine coverage of real threats to our civil liberties.

          2. Alright Chip, what is the better economic structure; what is the better government structure that would more effectively provide the citizens security of their life, liberty and property? What are these “other outlets” that provide “genuine coverage of real threats to our civil liberties”?

  8. The FACT of the matter is that fractional reserve banks counterfeit 90% of the money that they loan. It is a fact that banks do on a daily basis, the same thing that we charge mere mortals as crimes for doing. Modern banking is based on theft, with the bankers being the only ones that do not go to jail.

  10. He was down and out after being laid off from the Clinton Foundation. But at least he obviously left having learned some marketable skills.

    1. Darren – speaking of marketable skills and the Clinton Foundation, I read that Chelsea is thinking about running for Congress.

  11. Gee, with 7billion bucks he could start his own church and start screwing the faithful.

  12. I am not sure why he is not doing restitution, plus the fine, plus prison. And before he goes away would he mind telling he how he did it? My wife gives me an allowance of $10 a week. $7mill looks nice. 🙂

  13. Doesn’t work well in disciplinary cases either, even though a fair number of Judge’s believe they may be god, small (g).

  15. “He is facing a maximum sentence of five years in prison and a $250,000 fine.”

    Well let see. Seven billion less 250 thousand is still over 6 billion 999 million. Five years is nearly 44 thousand hours. That works out to nearly $160,000.00 per hour.

    That does beat minimum wage. No heavy lifting. And meals and health care are included.

    Now if we could just figure out a way to set up some sort of internship.

  17. He sounds like the kind of guy who’d get a $300 tax refund check, write six more zeros on it, and try to cash it.

  19. It’s terrifying that a doofus, like this guy in the photo, could somehow manage to divert billions from a bank, in 2017, by simply using a routing number and that the banking system, given the supposed layers of protection and security, is still so vulnerable to such predictable and anticipated scams.

    1. Jesus is going to be a might angry with this topic thread’s lad when they meet.

      The third commandment about taking the Lord’s name in vain? Yeah it’s not about blurting out a few choice words when you hit your thumb with the hammer instead of the nail. It has to do with things like trying to commit a $7 billion dollar heist and then saying Jesus OK’d it.

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