What Seems To Be The Problem, Officer? Three New Hampshire Men Arrested Trying To Steal 25-Foot Shed

Maine State Police troopers had little trouble spotting alleged thieves on Sunday. They responded to a caller who reported that a shed was being stolen. The police soon found Matthew Thompson of Lebanon, Timothy James of Pembroke, New Hampshire, and Robert Breton of Milton, New Hampshire towing a 25-foot shed down the road behind their pickup truck.

Three suspects are bing held in York County Jail after they allegedly stole this shed and tried to drag it away on Heath Road in Lebanon.

They also found crystal meth and prescription pills on Thompson.  He is now facing charges for unauthorized taking or transfer and police will seek indictments for unlawful possession of a Schedule W drug, reckless conduct, criminal mischief and unlawful possession of a Schedule Z drug.

James and Berton were both charged with theft by unauthorized taking or transfer and are expected to face additional charges.

I guess it is not breaking and entering if you just steal that entire house or shed.


47 thoughts on “What Seems To Be The Problem, Officer? Three New Hampshire Men Arrested Trying To Steal 25-Foot Shed”

  1. PaulCS requested a Rime for these three men. I can’t tell which one is the Arab from Lebanon, but anyway, here goes!

    Max Shedroom???
    A Brief Doggerel* by Squeeky Fromm

    Down came the Banker, riding in his limousine,
    Down came State Troopers, one, two, three. . .
    What is that you’re dragging,
    There behind your pickup truck???
    You’ll have to go to the hoosegow with me!

    Down to the hoosegow,
    Down to the hoosegow,
    You’ll have to go to the hoosegow with me!
    What is that you’re dragging,
    There behind your pickup truck???
    You’ll have to go to the hoosegow with me!

    We found it sitting, on a little vacant lot,
    Poor little Shed, just as lonely as could be.
    We felt sorry for it,
    Sooo, we hooked it to our pickup truck. . .
    How in the world is that a felony???

    Down to the hoosegow,
    Down to the hoosegow,
    Why is the hoosegow the right place to be???
    We felt sorry for it,
    Sooo we hooked it to our pickup truck,
    Why is the hoosegow the right place to be???

    Up jumped the Banker, with a Mortgage in hand!
    Up jumped State Troopers, one, two, three!
    Isn’t that thing Robo-Signed,
    Asked a Trooper pointedly?
    You have to go to the hoosegow with me!

    Down to the hoosegow,
    Down to the hoosegow,
    You’ll have to go to the hoosegow with me!
    You foreclosed the property,
    With a phony document!
    You’ll have to go to the hoosegow with me!

    Up jumped the Banker, and ran into the Deep Maine Woods!
    You’ll never take me alive cried he!
    Now his ghost may be heard,
    If you’re hunting Moose round ‘Orono. . .
    The hoosegow was surely a safer place to be!

    Safe in the hoosegow,
    Safe in the hoosegow,
    But bankers don’t do well in prison, you see!
    So his ghost may be heard,
    If you’re hunting Moose ’round Orono!
    There’s lots of bears in the Maine Woods, you see!

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

    *With apologies to Banjo Patterson.

  2. It’s nice that the one guy went to the trouble of getting arrested wearing his New England Roofing shirt. Nothing like getting a little free publicity for the business. People were probably previously under the mistaken impression that they fix your roof, not steal your roof. Glad he cleared that up.

    Should be a good test of PT Barnum’s axiom, “There’s no such thing as bad publicity.”

    1. Darren Smith denies Macon County Line was autobiographical.

  3. They probably ruined the integrity of the structure dragging it improperly like that.

    A 25 foot long shed like that is usually thousands of dollars new. What a shame to waste it. Would have made a real nice tack room.

    This happens a lot in rural areas. If a property goes vacant, or gets foreclosed upon, sometimes the low lifes will sneak out there and steal anything of value, like water tanks for wells, pumps, corral fencing, wiring, and the like. Sometimes they’re drug addicts; others they are just people who want something for nothing, and consider it gleaning.

    It’s theft, pure and simple.

    1. If you’ve ever read The Grapes of Wrath, cannibalizing a vacant building is almost an American tradition. There’s even a page or two in there about dragging away half a house, if I remember correctly — early in the book, not long after Tom Joad gets home and finds the house of his own family abandoned.

      1. What I remember most about the Grapes of Wrath was how the men kept that vehicle running by the skin of their teeth. They listened to every thrum of the motor and vibration under the floorboard with deep anxiety.

        People buy a short sale or foreclosed property, and a lot of times the house has been gutted, with the wiring stripped right out of the walls. Or druggie squatters move in and make a meth lab. I know of a place in our neighborhood whose property owner lost her husband, and then had health problems herself. She had to move in with one of her children. The property she left behind has been stripped by thieves, even of the expensive water tank and pump for the well. Someone started trying to grow pot in poor soil in arid drylands, out of sight of the road. They weren’t stealing from no one; they were stealing from a sick elderly lady.

        There is this idea that the property belongs to no one, but it does. It’s not right to wreck a property for the new owner, the absentee owner on hard times, or even for the bank trying to get their money back.

        1. Yeah — I chalk a lot of that kind of behavior up to people having no self respect. It’s impossible to respect other people or their property if one has no self respect. It’s one thing to do something in order to survive — that’s why The Grapes of Wrath came to mind, because it’s a survival story — but it’s something else to do things not because you have to but because you just don’t care. There’s a lot of that going around in the US these days.
          In the Grapes of Wrath, people tore piece of abandoned houses away and took them for their own use because people were poor, and if you’re poor it’s a sin to let something go to waste — but it’s something else to rip off a hunk of a house — or as these clowns who stole the shed were doing, snagging the entire building — just because it’s there.

  4. Oh, I have been busy. Plus, I am outside 3 hours or so a day with Snagglepuss on a leash, and I haven’t gotten my computer rigged to go outside yet. I already go out with a big a$$ beach bag full of stuff, like crosswords, kindles, pipes and tobacco, and bird bread, and books, and maybe even a Daiquiri in the thermos jug. There is just no room for the laptop, sooo I have to get my old rollator, that I had when I hurt my back in an accident 4 years ago, out of the attic. I will rig it up with a basket and then I can take my laptop sooo when I am sitting under the tree or out by the garden, or behind the shed, wherever Snagglepuss wants to go, I can still be online. I can like sit in the rollator instead of having to drag one of my heavy metal lawn chairs around the yard, or sit on the grass and have ants crawling up my undies.

    Plus, I am transferring to a new laptop for inside, and I am installing stuff like a USB hub, and a power strip with the little USB recharging thingies on it. Plus, I am trying to get a way to take a guitar outside so I can practice outside. Which, this is not a problem if I stay on one of the patios where I have tables, or the porch, but not easy out in the yard.

    Sooo, that is why I have been away. Plus, Spring Cleaning and stuff, and planting a garden.

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

      1. Thank you! I am just trying to give Snagglepuss some quality of life. He is an older, diabetic cat, and he used to be an outside cat before he was rescued. But he loves to go outside, and spray the shrubbery, and watch out for neighborhood cats, and evil squirrels. I keep him on a 37 foot leash, so he can stroll around and investigate stuff.

        Plus, it gives me a chance to slow down some, and enjoy the simple things of life, like tobacco, crossword puzzles, cryptos, and jumbles. Plus, I am really getting into my pipe since my Uncle bought me a couple of new ones. I have just discovered Perique, which I found out is only grown in Louisiana, where Indians were smoking it for 10 centuries or so. I bought some tobacco called Haunted Bookstore, and it has Perique in it and I swear I got a buzz off the stuff! Or was it the Chacom that had the Perique in it? Whichever.

        Squeeky Fromm
        Girl Reporter

        1. Sometimes it’s the little things in life that’s important and loved, good ta see your happy.

        2. Never let your cats go outside, there are now coyotes in every state except Hawaii. There are an estimated 2,000 in the Chicago area and they are in all five boroughs of NYC. Eventually I expect them to find a way to get to Hawaii.

          1. True. Plus, down here there are rumors of Urban Bobcats, and coyotes for sure. There is even a family from China on our block. Including a few older ones who came here thru chain migration. They seem nice enough, but several cats have come up missing lately. . .

            Squeeky Fromm
            Girl Reporter

            1. Squeeky – we had a report of an urban bear the other day. We get coyotes were I am all the time. If your pet is not on a leash it could be food.

  5. What shed? Don’t see it. Fake report. I hereby demand to see the shed. The shed is trying to make me lie to frame me. Nobody reported the shed missing before. I know this women that has a shed, how come she was never charged with a shed? We want a report on the cops that seen the shed. All three of say NO COLLUSION.

    1. Squeeky – you have been missed. Surely they deserve a poem for stealing a whole shed. 😉

  6. It’s not a shed, it’s a potential Meth Lab and these fine gentleman are entrepreneurs.

    1. wildbill99 – I thought maybe it was a test for a new pickup. 😉

  7. Mo, Larry and Curly.

    Except that they probably don’t have six teeth between them.

  8. The defendants are no doubt under house arrest.

    People up there will steal anything. I think it was 2011 when I was talking to a law-enforcement Ranger I know in the White Mountain National Forest about a theft that had recently occurred in the National Forest during the off-season when the campgrounds are closed. Someone had gone in and stolen all of the solar equipment used to generate electricity to pump water for the campgrounds — and there are a number of campgrounds.

    That’s a time-consuming theft — disconnecting and taking down the solar panels that were mounted on poles, and related accessories — must’a taken weeks, making numerous trips back to the various campgrounds. That’s a LOT of returning to the various scenes of the crime. Last I heard, they got away with it. Investigators never figured out who did it.

    So it might sound ridiculous, but it’s easy to see how these shed-nappers figured they’d get away with it.

    There’s a terrible drug problem going on up there, and where you could once leave your car unattended to hike up into the mountains for a few days or a few weeks camping, now you have to worry about your car getting broken into if you leave it unattended for just a few hours.

    1. Last I heard, they got away with it. Investigators never figured out who did it.

      I’d zero in on parks department employees.

      1. That is EXACTLY what I said to Ranger Mike — but with a twist. The campgrounds in the White Mountain National Forest are privatized — leased to a private company that runs them. And each campground has one employee that camps on site during the camping season (roughly Memorial Day through Columbus Day). So people that get hired by the private company tend to be unemployed types — people who work 5 months of the year and take the very-low-paying job not as much form the money as for the free housing (living in a trailer parked at the campground).

        Those are the suspects, in my opinion. The actual Forest Service Employees are pretty good people. The privatized campground employees can be a bit shady — though I don’t want to disparage all of them. Some are great people.

        And not to nitpick — but it’s Forest Service, not Parks Department. Parks are under the Interior Department, Forest Service is under the Agriculture Department. From my own experiences, I prefer Forests and Forest Service employees to Parks and Parks Department employees. Park Rangers are Nazis — and that’s not an exaggeration. Forest Rangers are great people — and that’s not an exaggeration either. And by “rangers” I mean law enforcement. That’s what “ranger” means in the Forest Services.

        1. You are probably right. It was either a campground employee, or someone who visited the site during camping season and returned off season. Seems pretty brazen for anyone who wasn’t an employee.

          1. Yeah, it’s also a possibility that it was someone that visited the campgrounds. Where the White Mountain National Forest is located, they get lots of people from Boston. I don’t mean to disparage people from Boston in general, but the ones that visit the White Mountains tend to be the sort who bring their barstools with them when they go camping — and they’re the ones that cause 80-90% of all the problems. So I’d suspect them just because of character issues.

            Could’a been locals, except it would be pretty foolish to set up stolen solar equipment in the area. There’s lots of helicopter traffic up their. It’s how they search for lost hikers, run supplies around, etc., and it would be easy to spot solar equipment since it needs to be set up in the open. Although they could’ve taken it elsewhere to sell or use.

            Lots of possibilities of who done it. Unlikely it was Forest Service employees, because those are pretty sweet jobs — working in a beautiful location, pretty good pay — no reason to risk getting caught or losing a decent job just to steal solar equipment.

            I’d bet it was some former employee of the campgrounds — someone that worked there a year or two before.

    2. That’s a real shame about the solar panels. I love the idea of campgrounds being as green and self reliant as possible, and solar is a great way to meet that goal. All it takes is for thieves to strip a campground like this once, and the park service won’t put up any more solar panels. Campgrounds are too difficult to monitor for security.

      The Tragedy of the Commons.

      I did not know that the White Mountains has a drug problem now. I’ve always wanted to visit that part of the country. Doing drugs for recreation doesn’t make anyone’s life better. Legal or illegal, drugs ruin lives. Our society should evolve a general distaste for them rather than continuing to make doing drugs seem cool.

      1. I wouldn’t want to scare you off from visiting the White Mountains. Nature doesn’t get any better. The Appalachian Trail comes through the peaks, and if you can only visit once, the best time is in the fall. You’ll never see more spectacular autumn colors anywhere — for two reasons. One is that there’s a very large variety of deciduous trees (unlike out west), so the variety of trees adds to the variety of colors. Secondly, all the trees usually change color at the same time, because cold air will come sweeping through the mountains and trigger all the trees to turn at the same time. Elsewhere (such as here in Ohio, where I am) the trees change at their own pace — some earlier, some later. It makes for a longer autumn, but less spectacular color contrasts.
        I’ve traveled quite a bit in the US, and the White Mountains are my favorite place to be. If you ever get there, look to hike up Mt. Garfield. That area of the forest is particularly wonderful — very peaceful.

        And don’t worry about the Forest Service not replacing the stolen solar panels. Ranger Mike mentioned that they were insured and, actually, the replacements were far more efficient than the older equipment that got stolen. When he told me that, the first thing that occurred to me was that maybe they didn’t try to find the stolen equipment as hard as the might have. I don’t think the federal government sweats too much when its insurance premiums are hiked because of theft. But actually, it’s a pretty professional police organization, so I’m sure the did the investigation correctly. Sometimes people just get away with the crime.

        All of New England has a drug problem (a lot like everywhere else), but it hit hard and first in Vermont, then spread. Vermont — Bernie Sanders country. Not hard to figure.

      1. mespo – you are not going down this road, too, are you???

  9. Here’s real legal analysis about the anti-Constitutional Muellergate. Certainly, a change of pace from the sleazy leftist lowlife, anal queen-loving, presstitute-loving, leftist-propaganda author of so much of waste of space on this blog.

    1. Was Mueller seen towing any sheds down the road with his pickup truck?

      1. mespo – look at the mugshot on the far left. What kind of break or sentence do you give him for that smile?

          1. I’m glad to be so much in your head. Next time tidy up a bit. It’s dark and lonely in here and I’m not sure it’s even clean enough for human consumption. Lol

          2. mespo – I saw it as the sheepish grin of the “caught in the act, oops!”

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