Florida Candidate: My Alien Abduction Does Not Define Me

Screen-Shot-2018-08-24-at-9.39.03-PM.pngThis is not your usual campaign pitch.  Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera is running for the House of Representatives but most wants you to know that her long-standing account of being abducted by aliens really doesn’t define her.  It appears that the discussion of aliens in the campaign will remain in this solar system.

Rodriguez Aguilera is running for the seat vacated by retiring Republican Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen.

Rodriguez Aguilera claims that at age seven she was captured by aliens and taken up to a spaceship.  She describes the aliens as blond beings who strangely resembled the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro.  So these nordic Christ figures explained that the “center of the world’s energy is Africa.”  She further recounted how thousands of non-human skulls were once discovered in a cave on the Mediterranean island of Malta.  She claims that the experience left her with paranormal capabilities and that she encountered another UFO at seventeen.

Many voters likely view the tale as more abnormal than paranormal.  Nevertheless, The Herald announced in its Sunday editorial that they are endorsing her: “We realize that Rodriguez Aguilera is an unusual candidate but cited her “boots-on-the-ground ideas and experience” as being the daughter of a Cuban political prisoner as well as a former City Council member and a social worker.

 

63 thoughts on “Florida Candidate: My Alien Abduction Does Not Define Me”

  1. In case anyone is interested this fruit loop ended up getting 4% of the vote. Yes, that includes interstellar mailed ballots.

  2. Delusions of grandeur? We need more of that in Congress? Are you sure she’s running for Congress on earth? Does she print the Herald newspaper in her basement? She need more makeup………………..NOT!

  3. She seems an unconventional candidate. But wonder how different is she from her opponent who likely believes in some ridiculous religious deity? Both have no conclusive proof. Except its doubtful alien abductees have exposure to the rampart child abuse that seems to define the sickness of our religious organizations. Conspirator.

  4. Communist China is refusing to negotiate tariffs.

    Communist China is stalling the “fake” “peace negotiations” by North Korea.

    Communist China is awaiting the outcome of the 2018 mid-terms.

    Communist China is waiting to see if America is handed over on a silver platter.

    Communist China is waiting to see if America will allow its vote to be so diluted and corrupted

    that parasitic hyphenate communists vote to surrender America to Communist China,

    or if Communist China will have to conquer America militarily.
    ________________________________________________

    “Crazy Abe” Lincoln was right about one thing – he began the cycle of destruction replacing freedom with dictatorship.

    “America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.”

    – Abraham Lincoln

  5. I don’t think just one alien abduction will define anyone.

    More than one and that’s a whole other kettle of identification fish.

  6. OT: Here’s an actual conspiracy. The US will again claim that Syria used chemical weapons even after having the last claim/excuse for bombing disproved once again by OPWC. This will again be the pretext to bomb Syria and reup the war there.

    Show some kind of courage Donald Trump, for once in your life, and fire John Bolton now. Bombing Syria is a war crime. It doesn’t make America great, it makes the military contractors and the bakers who money lauder for them more wealthy. What will it take for you to finally have enough courage to stop this madness?

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