Florida Man Upset With Dogs Urinating On His Yard . . . Sprays Owner With His Own Urine

Florida continues to be an endless well of bizarre criminal stories. Joel Benjamin, 71, reportedly told police that he was not remorseful after he sprayed a woman walking her dog with his own urine. The reason? He was upset with dogs urinating on his lawn so he decided do retaliate with his own urine.

Benjamin used a squirt gun that he loaded with his own urine. He then told police that he was not sorry and would do it again. Given what it must have taken to fill the squirt gun, it shows a level of rage and commitment that is quite chilling.

What is interesting is that he is only charged with misdemeanor battery despite using a bodily fluid as a weapon. Under Section 784.03, Florida Statutes, simple battery includes “any actual and intentional touching or striking of another person against that person’s will (non-consensual), or the intentional causing of bodily harm to another person.”

The reason for the misdemeanor appears to be the absence of serious bodily harm. Under Section 784.041, Florida Statutes. felony battery is committed where a defendant intentionally strikes a person (without the person’s consent) and “causes great bodily harm, permanent disability, or permanent disfigurement” to the alleged victim.

13 thoughts on “Florida Man Upset With Dogs Urinating On His Yard . . . Sprays Owner With His Own Urine”

  1. Squirting urine on the rude neighbor from a water pistol is an unreasonable escalation. If he had pissed in a milk jug for a few days, then dumped a half gallon of urine on her lawn, I would call that fair. Let the Pee Wars begin!

  2. What is going on in Florida???

    In any case, it is understandable to be upset with inconsiderate dog owners who allow their animals to defecate and urinate on other people’s lawns. It causes the lawns to get yellow spots, which is unfair to the owner.

    It is very difficult to do anything about it, unless you are retired and want to be the grumpy old guy sitting in a lawn chair, hollering, “Get off my lawn!”

    A more reasonable, and clever, solution, than spraying your own urine like a lunatic, is to border your front yard, along the sidewalk, with California Wild Rose. I have been carefully nurturing it to grow in the inhospitable desert out here. It would be happier with more water. I can testify that the description below of the thorns is quite accurate.

    https://www.laspilitas.com/nature-of-california/plants/589–rosa-californica

    “Rosa californica is a very important wildlife plant. If you are in an area of feral cats or wild dogs this plant should help. Its thorns are hooked. You do not walk through it. It is like thorny velcro. The cats may be able to walk under it but not get animals that are hiding in it. Low life neighbors hate it, they can no longer siphon gas to get to town, without going in the front way.”

    Nothing, and I mean nothing, will discourage rude neighbors more than a low thicket of hooked thorns, with cheerful flowers adding “have a nice day!”

    1. Land mines. Hooked up to remote control button.
      Push the button. Pull the chain. Out comes a little brown choo choo train.

  3. Most of my experience with dog owners is that they are insensitive or worse. If this goes to a jury and I am on it, “not guilty” – no matter the law.

  4. Once had a neighbor who allowed her dog without a leash to pee (and poo) on my new front lawn sod every morning. Soon I had a yellow pokadotta front lawn. Their rudeness caused us to move eventually. Some people have no respect for others property. This guy should have at least asked her to stop if he caught her dog in the act.

    1. it’s tresspass to land, technically you could sue them. but not squirt urine on them if they are on a public right of way.

  5. Flip side is that dog urine burns the lawn grass & shrubs. That’s damage. Send the landscaping bill to the dog owner.

    Florida amended their law to close the loophole that allowed pet owners to let dog poop pile up on their own property. Pet owners are now required to clean up after their pets even in their own yard so “waste does not contaminate water supplies and endanger public health.”

  6. Agree that the level of rage is unhinged but I also wonder sometimes what it takes to get dog owners’ attention to make them understand that they do not have a license to impose their dogs, their urihe, their paws, their saliva, on others. I even like dogs, sometimes. I suspect I might like them more if their masters were not frequently so selfish and oblivious.

  7. Having gone to restaurants in Miami Beach, Ft Lauderdale, Key West, Daytona Beach and other Florida locales prior to cigarette smoking being banned, I used to think that a just way to retaliate with cigarette smokers in restaurants was to stand on my restaurant table and urinate on the offending party. Cigarette smoke and urine are both byproducts of consuming an agent, be it cigarettes or beer. “When they go low, we go high”, right?

    However the use of a water gun…meh.

    🔫

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