By Darren Smith, Weekend Contributor
It seems the Trump 2020 campaign has successfully taken the cryptozoological demographic as evidenced by at least one prominent display in rural Washington State: “Bigfoot ‘Luvs’ Trump”.
The significance of this announcement cannot be understated, for it shows how even the most disaffected, and disinterested citizen of this state literally “came out of nowhere” and made it plainly clear that he was dissatisfied with the situation in the woods of Western Washington.
This dramatic shift should be a wake-up call for President Trump’s opponents in the race for the White House.
I happened along this campaign signage and the message was hard to miss. Bigfoot not only for the first time openly entered to public election forum but surprisingly it was for a Republican presidential candidate. Most would have assumed that he might have chosen the Democratic party (if he had a preference in the past) due to its purported greater support of environmental causes and restrictions on logging. Word around town is that the state’s COVID-19 clampdown was the final straw for Bigfoot.
Locals say that a thunderous round of angry roaring and consternation could be heard in the woods after WA Governor Inslee’s Fish and Wildlife Director banned hunting and fishing in the woods. It went on for half the night. Old-timers said they could hear a strange voice crying out in the Chinook Jargon Language: “If that governor thinks I’m gonna walk into Walmart to buy elk and bear he’s got another thing coming. I’m through with the Democrats!”
Two days later, Bigfoot’s Trump 2020 signs showed up along the highway.
Bigfoot not only came out to endorse a political candidate, but he actually seems to have declared himself to be a patriotic American as well, as noted by the flag. Certainly this development will baffle both political and social scientists alike. Decades of seclusion and disenfranchisement are a thing of the past. Bigfoot has taken a stand. And it seems he’s determined to Make America Great Again.
By Darren Smith
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