Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Like many families, we are having a smaller gathering this year due to the pandemic guidelines with just our immediate family. We have had to make some changes in size but not in spirit. We are cooking up a feast and enjoying our holiday together. I ran a column this morning on my take on the Pilgrims in light of recent criticism of the holiday.
We will be continuing our tradition of the Turley Turkey Bowl — running over 50 years of unbroken tradition. Unfortunately, rather than have our usual neighborhood friends and a collective feast after the game, we will have to carry on with just the six of us. That makes sense since the Chicago Bears lack an offensive line anyway. The McLean Bears are expected to whomp the McLean Redskins again this year.
I am doing my usual two turkeys with one already smoking on the grill and the other will be cooked in the kitchen. It is always fun to see the difference in the two birds. The smoked turkey looks like I dragged it behind my car while the kitchen turkey looks picture perfect. However, it is the smoked turkey that does first and fast. I am making my cornbread and sausage stuffing as well as Waldorf salad. Leslie has made pumpkin pies using sugar pumpkins.
I know this holiday is tough but so are we. So have a great Thanksgiving as we celebrate what we have that is most precious in our families and our friends.
33 thoughts on “HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!”
“the McLean Redskins”
I still don’t understand why the Washington Redskins didn’t just change their name to the Washington Whiteskins.
It would have been perfect in a multitude of ways.
The Washington KillerCaucasians was the runner up.
Washington Bullets is still available.
After the sexual harassment charges by 15 women over the summer, I would have thought changing the name to the Washington Foreskins would have been appropriate.
I got a gift called a tank. The gun works and the armour looks fine.
Pilgrim’s ways are from days of old and condums weren’t invented. They tied long socks along the dock and stocks were invented. Along came a rambling man. He kept his thoughts in a garbage can. The can is now plastic, the thoughts are bare. We think it stinks because of King Lare. Tanks were given. Our thoughts must creep. Xmas is next. We must not think.
Joe Biden has much to be thankful for. He has accomplished a magic trick that would have astounded Harry Houdini, Harry Blackstone, Sr. and Jr., Cardini, Tony Slydini, Howard Thurston, and Harlan Tarbell. Even Penn & Teller, David Blaine, David Copperfield, Jerry Sadowitz, and Dynamo have been stunned into silence by Biden’s most amazing and astonishing illusion.
PARTY OFFERS HEALTH AND SAFETY GUIDELINES FOR HOLIDAY WEEKEND
-Thanks consumers for overwhelming response to consumer amnesty program
WASHINGTON, DC – The Party today offered health and safety guidelines for the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. It also thanked consumers who participated in the Party’s Thanksgiving turkey amnesty program.
“On holidays such as Thanksgiving, groups of family and friends are often tempted to congregate in private homes to engage in conversation, laughter, and religious observances such as the saying of grace. Activities like these pose a grave threat to our collective safety,” said Party spokesperson Gretchen Whitmer.
“Instead of congregating together, we encourage Americans of all genders to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday alone in a dark room streaming the Lions game on their iPhones,” Whitmer added. “Although the Lions had yet another tough loss, the game will be available for continuous streaming on YouTube and other Party-sanctioned media sites for the rest of the weekend. For those that are out of work due to the pandemic, the game will be available for streaming indefinitely.”
The Party also thanked consumers for the overwhelming response to its consumer amnesty program. Consumers who delivered a partially defrosted turkey to a local Party official ahead of the Thanksgiving holiday were granted amnesty for violations of the Party’s previously announced holiday turkey ban. Consumers who provided a reheatable side dish and a dessert also received points under the Party’s forthcoming social credit program. The credits may be used to earn privileges such as interstate travel.
“On behalf of Party officials everywhere, I would like to thank the millions of Americans who participated in the amnesty program. The quantity and quality of the turkeys, side dishes and desserts was phenomenal,” commented Party spokesperson James “Big Jimbo” Trafficant. “A safe and enjoyable Thanksgiving holiday was had by all,” he added
The exemption for turkeys consumed at Party-sanctioned protests remains in effect until further notice, provided that Party-aligned media stakeholders certify the protests as mostly peaceful. The exemption also applies to homeless encampments.
Immediate implementation of these guidelines is authorized under previously approved directives adopted in response to the COVID-19 emergency. Further information on these guidelines will be communicated as circumstances dictate.
Have a great one, JT.
Jonathan, Happy Thanksgiving! I wish the word “Thanksgiving” will not be labeled “hate speech” starting next year
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