Missouri Man Robs Bank Using Back of Birth Certificate While Wearing Ankle Monitor

We have come a long way since the heady days of Professor James Moriarty.

In Missouri, Michael Conley Loyd, 30, pleaded guilty last week to bank robbery.  That is not particularly notable, but Loyd wrote his demand note to the teller on the back of his birth certificate and robbed the bank while wearing an ankle monitor. It only got more bizarre from there.

Loyd took his roommate’s truck to the robbery. He told police that he really did not have a particular bank in mind and selected the Bank of America in Springfield by random. He then panicked after succeeding in getting the money.  He threw his birth certificate and ID out the window as he fled.  As he passed police cruisers, he anxiety increased and he began to throw the money out of the window.

The boyfriend of Loyd’s roommate reportedly later called police and they picked up  Loyd (appropriately enough) at the Lazy Acres Mobile Home Park.

Before one complains about the lack of effort by millennials as bank robbers, Loyd made one comment that stood out on the criminal complaint below. He said that he robbed the bank “because he and his lover . . . had gotten into a fight and he wanted to ‘prove a point.'” It is not clear what point that was beyond how not to rob a bank or why his girlfriend should be more judicious in finding a life partner.

Here is the criminal complaint.

19 thoughts on “Missouri Man Robs Bank Using Back of Birth Certificate While Wearing Ankle Monitor”

  1. Florida man? But maybe he had a bigger point….like the circle jerk logic our govt has post 911…..for a woman to get a credit card she needs a job….which uses credit score if to hire…to give the job. Circular. Worse I have a decent net worth…because I am risk adverse and frugal…finally after 20 years treated myself to a new car at less than 2% rate….Safeco sends me a letter…”we decline to offer you homeowners insurance”…..because you insurance score dropped….because you got a 2% loan to buy an f259….nevermind apparently there is nothing in their “score” about I have 100 percent risk in my home? Free and clear? It’s like the system is already set up for the great reset. Aas holes.

  2. Hold onto your hat. The Democrats will say that he is a right wing nut like the right wing nut who broke into Pelosi’s house. They will say that these two rightwing nuts probably got hammered together while building a noose to hang on a garage door. Hey, don’t you know that they were both wearing MAGA caps.

    1. Anonymous/Safeside824 wrote, “Get a life, Stevie.”

      HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!

      The cowardly ad hominem wielding cyberstalking internet troll Anonymous/Safeside824 told me, yes ME, to get a life! Anonymous/Safeside824 is a freaking comedian, and a good one at that!

      HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!!!

      That’s a better script than the imbecilic writers at Saturday Night Live could come up with!

  3. I thought I knew a story about a ‘Darwin Award’ candidate that was as good as this one, but mine isn’t anywhere near close.

  4. Well, he’d make a great Democrat Senator some day! I mean, just look at Biden & Kamala, & Fetterman? All based on the documentary
    “Idiocracy”, he’s a sure bet

  5. I would say that this fellow has several possibilities in his future as a career.1- He could lead the Forlorn Hope on any wall breaching that might need to be done. 2-he could be the point main for an FBI Swat Team, especially if they are short a suit or 2 of armor. 3-But I think the best career would be admission to the Council of Economic Advisers of the present President.
    4-Oh, just remembered. He could “plan” the next withdrawal of the American Military from a contested air strip.

  6. Maybe he was arguing that he could rob a bank by writing a demand letter on his birth certificate while wearing an ankle monitor? And she probably told him that was ridiculous. He sure proved her wrong!

  7. If the point he was trying to prove was that he is dumber than a bag of hammers, I’d say he has succeeded.

    1. …he is dumber than a bag of hammers…

      Hate speech!!! 🔨

      OTOH, looking at his neck tattoo, one might be inclined to consider he has an artistic streak. He could have used that artistic talent and made a ton of money by writing a folk tune about…

      🎶 a hammer of justice, a bell of freedom and a song about love between my brothers and my sisters, ohhhh ohhhh, all over this land 🎶

      1. To coin a phrase “Better to do nothing and be thought an idiot than to rob a bank and remove all doubt”.

  8. She probably wanted the mobile home for herself and her boyfriend. Women can do strange things to a man’s mind.

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