Slow but Convenient Service: Sword-Wielding Man Waits to Be Shot In Convenience Store

Thomas Neal, 20, of French Camp, California, stormed into a convenience sword wielding a sword. He reportedly wanted to be shot, but police had a few taser malfunctions.


In perhaps the most obvious police report in history, Stockton Police Department Pete Smith described a man who went on a rampage in a convenience store as “acting very erratically.” This is to distinguish the non-erratic sword-wielding maniacs who visit convenience stores.

Notably, Neel stated that he wanted to be shot by the officer, allegedly stating “I want blood.” There to serve, the police promptly tried to shoot him with a taser three times only to have malfunctions in the stun gun. Neel waited. They then went and got a 37-millimeter Sage gun — which shoots a plastic bullet.

Neel then fell to the floor and was swarmed by officers.

Despite the curious scene of a sword-wielding lunatic waiting to be shoot at a convenience store, it does seem that the police acted appropriately, if not admirably, under the circumstances. In some other cities, it is likely that the officers would have used live ammunition on Neel or used enough tasers to light him up like the Chrysler Building. Here, police turned to another non-lethal option and no one was seriously hurt.

Neel is charged with assault with a deadly weapon, though a psychiatric hearing seems likely in his future.

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2 thoughts on “Slow but Convenient Service: Sword-Wielding Man Waits to Be Shot In Convenience Store”

  1. JT:

    Well you’re obviously not a romantic. A famous knight errant once said “[b]ut all this must be suffered by those who profess the stern order of chivalry.” (Don Quixote, Book 1, Part 11).

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