Scientists Discover BPS Systems: Bovine Positioning Systems

This has absolutely nothing to do with the law, policy, religion, or any connection to this site with the possible exception of the environment. However, I find it amazing that after thousands of years of herding cattle, scientists have discovered that cows tend to uniformly align themselves in the north-south direction. This makes them something of bovine compasses — a condition apparently shared with deer and other animals.

Scientists used the Proceedings for the National Academy of Sciences to reveal their bovine bombshell. It appears to be the result of Earth’s magnetic poles. Birds and salmon are also known to use the magnetic poles and bats are known to have a “magnetic compass.”

The new BPS has the advantage of actually walking next to backpackers and being covered with a pleasant fur exterior. They can also produce milk, which is something that the GPS systems have never done. Of course, there is the problem of feeding and herding a cow on long backpacking trips — and that little issue of cow “production.” Compass manufacturers are probably safe, but it you are ever lost, just ask a cow.

For the full story, click here and here and here.

27 thoughts on “Scientists Discover BPS Systems: Bovine Positioning Systems”

  1. Not for nothing, but if you’re a grazing animal with eyes in the sides of your head, wouldn’t you be pointing north/south so as to spot changes in light and shadow from approaching predators?

  2. Rafflaw and Jill:

    First, cow chips are not thrown. They are tossed. They may even be flung – but never, never are they thrown. Throwing is term exclusively reserved for BS, which is a generally a cow chip, before sufficient aging or a ‘Reply’ not unlike the one I am writing.

    Secondly, while there is not sufficient empirical data, there does appear to be evidence that a new phenomenon has been discovered in Minnesota, particular the twin-cities area, where the Bovine population is moving in all directions away from the suspected epicenter of what scientists predict will be the largest deposit of BS the planet has ever endured. It is further suggested that it will be thrown along the same trajectories as Satellite, Cable and Terrestrial television signals and the world population has been advised to protect themselves from the results of contamination.

    Symptoms include banging one’s head against sharp objects, becoming violent at the mention of the term P.0.W., the involuntary act of throwing heavy objects at expensive television sets, and uncontrollable swearing.

    The Bovine population’s reaction was first noted by when an agricultural student noticed that cow chips, in the areas that had recently been abandoned by cattle, were seemingly embossed with the
    likeness of William Krystol, Neocon movement promoter.

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