Amber Alert: Homeowner Finds Woman Plastered on Roof

18264562_240x180Like any home owner, Kirk Taggert may have expected a wayward cat or nesting sparrows on the roof of his home in Fort Pierce, Florida. Indeed, he came home Wednesday night to find Amber Smith, 28, on his roof drunk. When he confronted her, she reportedly said that she would only leave if he gave her more beer.

Smith obviously has a bit of a drinking problem. She was arrested in October for stealing money from her sister to buy alcohol, and last week disturbing the peace.

For the full story, click here.

9 thoughts on “Amber Alert: Homeowner Finds Woman Plastered on Roof”

  1. Well, I have plastered walls and I have plastered ceilings, but I have *never* plastered a woman on a roof.

  2. Santa sighed, crushing the beer can against his forehead and throwing it into the recycling bin. He eased his way into the hot tub under the flood lights of the North Pole set. He wondered why he’d agreed to the show. Sure the elves wanted their 15 mins. of fame, not to mention the reindeer. They’d always been kind to him, wacking out presents at the last minute and getting them delievered, to each and every child, that one special night. But Santa’s Apprentice? Santa didn’t like to tell people they were fired. He didn’t run a bank. He was Santa. Besides, none of the apprentices could really hold up under the load.

    Amber had worked very hard but he’d found her passed out near the chimney of a roof in Florida. Florida was the first state Santa went every year. If she couldn’t get through that, what chance was there for Amber?

  3. I am shocked you people don’t recognize a stressed out Santa-in- training this close to Christmas.

  4. Jill,
    The Geminids are a spectacle, but it has been too cold around here for me to stand out and watch for meteors. Although it is supposed to be above zero today and tomorrow before we get snow again on Monday. I like the idea of the inflatable penguin between the viewer and the full moon. Although there may be alot of penguins around with the full moon and beer drinkers like this one.

  5. Why can’t you people understand that we do things differently in Florida? Paradise operates on a different reality. Our Governor married….a woman…yesterday! Take that Prop 8, or as we called it down here, Prop 2.

  6. As long is we’re looking up for giant penguins and people drinking beer on our roofs, this might be fun to look for as well:

    “Geminids Meteors Shower tonight! December 2008

    The Annual Geminid Meteor shower will peak this weekend,.. Saturday Night the 13th until the Sunday Morning the 14th of December 2008.

    Start watching around 10:00pm on Friday night as The constellation of Gemini is already rising in the East by then. The meteors will appear to be coming out of the area of Castor, one of the bright twin Stars of Gemini.

    Peak activity is projected to occur at or near 4 a.m. EST (1 a.m. PST) on Dec. 14. Under normal conditions on the night of maximum activity, with ideal dark-sky conditions, at least 60 to 120 Geminid meteors can be expected to burst across the sky every hour on the average. Rates could even briefly climb higher for North American viewers.

    Unfortunately the bright Full Moon will hinder your view, you will only see the brightest of meteors for this years shower.

    Your best bet is to put a house or tree {or giant Penguin} between you and the moon, to block the moon light from interfering with your view, this will make the sky appear darker and a lot easier to see any meteors.

    The Geminids are known for their slow moving (22 miles per sec) bright yellow meteors, they really put on a great reliable show, sometimes outdoing the well known August Persieds!”

    from an astronomy website–bring your beer to the show!!!

  7. I don’t understand why this is a news story. It sounds like a very reasonable request. Maybe Prof. Turley can hire her to put up his Christmas decorations on his roof! She works cheap….for beer.

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