When I worked as the constitutional consultant for the Florida House of Representatives, I was told a story about a certain Senator who threatened to call “General Revenue” as a witness after being told that “general revenue will not allow this appropriation.” Now, Senator Larcenia Bullard (D.-Miami) has topped that story by expressing alarm that women were marrying animals when “animal husbandry” was raised in legislation.
This irreplaceable moment came during a debate to outlaw bestiality in Florida, which appears to be perfectly legal at the current time. When an exception for animal husbandry was raised, State Senator Bullard was alarmed: “People are taking these animals as their husbands? What’s husbandry?”
Senate Chair Charlie Dean explained it refers to rearing and caring of animals, but that did not seem to help. Bullard responded by referring to the recent case of the women’s chimpanzee going nuts and being put down: “So that maybe have been the reason the lady was so upset about that monkey?”
Dean simply responded dryly: “I’m not familiar with that particular incident or case.”
Personally, my wife would see little difference between marrying a sloth on weekends excepts that a sloth eats less and doesn’t hog the clicker.
What is most striking is that Florida legislator would still presumably allow such marriages so long as the human and animal are different genders.
For the full story, click here.
“So that maybe have been the reason the lady was so upset about that monkey?”
I always wonder what the traditional, white, intelligent, upstanding members of state senates think when they have to watch these fat, black semi-literates waddling in. They’re elected by areas of the state with large black populations.
Before your knee jerks and you call me a racist, watch it on YouTube or CSPAN sometime. They waddle in and then just love to hog up that microphone, wailing to everyone in the room about PAH-ver-ty, the social injustice of being a mah-NOR-i-ty, and why no one in their district can be expected to take responsibility for themselves like the rest of the country has to.
Lindy Lou,
That was funny, but wouldn’t a “mid-wife” be the woman in between the other woman and the wife?
In what seems a millennium ago, a DC mayoral staffer was forced to resign amid charges of racism when he commented that a budget item proposed a “niggardly” sum for such an important item. Once someone found a dictionary, the staffer was offered another job in the administration.
Please forgive me.
That wasn’t funny.
“Animal husbandry”. Isn’t that a Sharia term?
Buddha,
All of the above but with strict abstinence education messaging as part of the program. In other words, David Vitter, don’t pay for farm animals, do you understand?! Larry Craig, stay out of the stalls!!! (and so on)
Jill,
In the interest of clarity, do you mean many animals, big animals, or many big animals? I’m trying to picture the casting other than Bill Paxton.
Good one C.L.–big animal love, a new TV series that will move you like no other, coming this fall to Congress, C-SPAN 3!
seamus,
prose? Do you have something against poetry?
I was representing a friend of a friend in small claims years ago against a pro se defendant who had run a home improvement scam on said friend. I made an objection to “foundation” to one of his questions to his only witness, and, of course, his response was “foundation! I never touched the damn foundation”.
Jill said: Is there a danger of polyanimal husbandry as well?
I support this type of husbandry and think it’s big o’ me.
*bu-dum-cha*
LindaLou
Well done!
Brings a whole new meaning to “hot” dog.
Thank you for the laugh, LindyLou.
There are tons of jokes applicable to the Senator’s lack of basic knowledge and I expect our witty gang will post a few more originals here.
Good one, LindyLou! Thanks for bringing more funny. 😀
LOL, LindyLou!
Good grief! Does she think a midwife is the “other woman”?
This lady must not know Captn Johnny who I had the pleasure of meeting at the age of 23. Captn Johnny knew a thing or 2 about hip boots and goats and so could have fully enlightened her.
That’s just plain funny.
Just another *Flori-Duh* moment.
I suggest that to become a Federal or State legislator, those persons must take written and oral tests to demonstrate the basic competency expected of a 3rd grader (4th grade competency and above still get a free pass to become ‘all they can be in government’ and even president of the USA, as we have already established with GWB).
Is there a danger of polyanimal husbandry as well? How will this fit in with abstinence only education? This country is going to the goats!