Arizona Man Fails in Sword-Steering Wheel Suicide

suicide+knifeNathan Ryan, 27, in Mesa, Arizona had a curious way to killing himself. Not only did it not succeed, but he will now face likely criminal and civil charges. Ryan decided that the best way to kill himself was to tie a two-foot sword to his steering wheel — pointed to his chest. He then ran his car into a neighbor’s brick wall. The one thing that he forgot about was the air bag, which deployed, bent sword, and Ryan ended up in a very irate neighbor’s pool.

Ryan used a tee-shirt to attach the sword and he was only slightly injured with a cut to the neck.

This effort is unlikely to receive the level of praise from police that was showered on David Grant in his better planned effort.

For the full story, click here.

12 thoughts on “Arizona Man Fails in Sword-Steering Wheel Suicide”

  1. rcampbell,

    If Gov. Perry starts running Mesa, we will be reading about your arrest on this blog!

  2. whooliebacon
    1, June 19, 2009 at 8:40 am
    Mesa Arizona belongs in Texas.


    I live in Mesa. I’d resent your comment above if it wasn’t so true.

  3. Eniobob,
    I wasn’t at all familiar with the Goethe quote. It is priceless.

  4. I know that clinical depression is no laughing matter, but this really reminds me of the overly complicated traps the protagonists find themselves in in every movie from Gold Finger to Austin Powers.

  5. what is that bumper sticker saying? keep it simple, stupid?
    clearly this guy’s plan had a few too many variables.

  6. Jill:
    This may capture Mr. Ryans actions:

    “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.
    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe “(1749 – 1832

  7. eniobob,

    I think he was inspired by Eric Cartman. His ultimate plan was not suicide (as the police have speculated) but was to piss off his neighbor while seeming to be up to something else entirely. As you can see, this plan worked out rather well. I think the Japanese term for this type of thing is: Ginsu.

  8. I hope that he does not face Criminal charges. This I think is a personal choice. Home owners Insurance and/or Automobile Insurance should cover all if not most of the damages under a civil case.


    A 27-year-old Mesa man drove through the block wall of a Chandler home and ended up in the pool after an apparent suicide attempt Tuesday morning, Chandler Police spokesman Sgt. Joe Favazzo said. . . . .

    It is unknown whether he will be charged with any crimes.

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