Bizarre, Criminal law, Lawyering, Society

Fish Story? Texas Lawyer Asserts the Catfish Defense in DWI Case

180px-ChannelcatAttorney Bryan Simmons says that he was brought low by the double scourge of hard work and catfish. Simmons drove off the road and got stuck in a ditch with a flat tire– the result of fatigue from a trial and a reaction to the black pepper sprinkled on his catfish. District Judge John Miller ordered him to pay the costs of a trial that ended in the middle of jury selection due to his failure to appear.

Simmons insisted that he was not drunk and in fact asked the police officer to administer a Breathalyzer test bur was refused. The blood test he later took will take a few weeks to get back. I am not sure why the judge acted before the test results were completed since Simmons should be entitled to a presumption of innocence. If he was sober, it is hard to see why he is penalized for an auto accident.

He was arrested for DWI.

The trial has been rescheduled.

I have said for years that friends do not let friends eat catfish and drive.

For full story, click here.

24 thoughts on “Fish Story? Texas Lawyer Asserts the Catfish Defense in DWI Case”

  1. Many times as a result of an accident parties are transported to the hospital because of injuries. Investigating Officers can get your blood results and draft a warrant for your arrest based on those results. If the Police show up to the accident and the DWI driver was not arrested on scene (given the fact that they didn’t go to the hospital) then the chances are slim to none.

  3. It would be more convincing if you sent me a card stuffed with cash — but alright, okay.

    *Resumes smiling and posting the occasional minor factual inaccuracy.

  4. Domino,

    For what it’s worth, I’ve been on the blog for a long time and would like to vouch for Gyges. He’s into science. He’s into food. He’s into foodscience!

    He did sound like a smart ass, that’s why I teased him, but he really is interested in all this stuff.

  5. Domino,

    I mean that sincerely, I worded my comment poorly and apologize that it probably came across in a harsher fashion than what was meant. I hope you’ll accept my apology, but understand if you’re cynical about it.

  7. Domino,

    Right, but not Capsicum allergies. Sorry if I offended, I was just passing on what I think is interesting information.

  9. Friends don’t let friends vote Republican.

    Actually, New Boston is in Deep North East Texas. Going toward Hope Arkansas. You wanna talk about No Neck Red Necks. This is the place. A lot of trafficking as it is a back road outta Texas.

    Dan Blocker is buried there and Ricky Nelson’s plane crashed not to far from there too.

  11. Domino,

    Wrong pepper. Black pepper has piperine, Chili peppers are the ones with capsicum

  13. Oh, and I sure would like humans to quit blaming everything on our poor, innocent nonhuman animal coinhabitants on this increasingly browning earth. The dog ate it, the catfish hooked the lawyer while he was a’fishin’ for an alibi…etc.

  14. Dredd,

    I like your website and if there were more that 24-hours in a day and if we humans had 9-lives like “da Cat” well then, others and I might…
    _________________________________

    “So much to do, if I only had time, if I only had time
    Dreams to pursue, if I only had time, only time…’

    Earl Grant 1968, ‘If I Only Had Time’
    _________________________________

  17. Why didn’t he just say the catfish had put a spell on him? He needs something credible and black pepper just won’t do the trick.

  18. In the first Grade I learned about such stories when I told my teacher that the dog had eaten my homework. She was skeptical to say the least and I had no retort.

  20. I will keep a shaker of pepper in my car,from here on out.

    You never know it may come in handy.LOL!!

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