The Nanook Invasion: Hockey Planning, Space Dwelling Polar Bears Attack Earth

This promo was for some reason pulled as “over-the-top.” I can’t imagine what they mean . . .

What the video does accurately depict is the galactic threat of polar bears. This did not happen when Sarah Palin was protecting our Alaskan border.

What really bothers me is how little prepared we are for this threat. As usual, the Obama Administration seems divided and uncertain what to do. Congress spent nothing (that’s right, nothing) on galactic bear tracking and containment. Dick Cheney’s secret program of Galactic Bear Hunters had its funding cut years ago — leaving us naked to the threat. Now, we face a new threat of hockey-stick toting, seal-eating overlords.

For the outcome of this inter-species struggle, watch Fox’s newest program “When Galactic Polar Bears Attack.” Coming in October.

11 thoughts on “The Nanook Invasion: Hockey Planning, Space Dwelling Polar Bears Attack Earth”

  1. “Never read a Simmons book other then this one.”

    I highly recommend his “Ilium” and “Olympos” which are his Sci-Fi takes on the Iliad and the Odyssey. A joy to read and a better ending than Homer. His Hyperion series is also good and some of his hard boiled detective stories are quite good. With “Ilium and Olympos” though I first read them about two years ago and had such pleasure from them that I’ve re-read them in the last 6 months.

  2. I am terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought. But Colbert has been right all along about the bears.

  3. WOW! LOL, that was great Professor, it made my day and sent me to sample my collection of Little River Band vinyl. If that bear had been more manga, or conversely more purely representational FX, that could have been the trailer for an old-fashioned Japanese Sci-Fi movie; it was AWESOME in a Godzilla sort of way. 🙂

  4. Mike,

    Never read a Simmons book other then this one. It’s actually a great read until about 3/4 of the way through. Then he turns what has mainly been a historic fiction with some possible supernatural elements into a supernatural thriller (and not a good one). There was just this sudden shift in one of the main characters that was so complete as to make him essentially another person. Admittedly that was the point, but when you’re trying to find a good reason for a veteran Arctic explorer to have a major shift in personality “near death experience” should be off the list. The guy had almost died a couple of times in the main story, and another two or three in recollections of past voyages. It was just a nonsensical plot twist that really was there just to add another hundred pages or so.

  5. Gyges,
    Good guess, I just didn’t think the University would have an Astronomy Department. As to the terror, I usually like Dan Simmons, but I’ll take your word for it, you never steered me wrong in the past.
    So many books…….so little time.

  6. That video really impressed my 21 month old son. After the first time we watched it, he came up and said “bear please.”

    I’m going to start him on “duck and cover drills” so he’ll be prepared for the eventual invasion.

    That reminds me, if anyone’s ever tempted to read the book “The Terror” by Dan Simmons, just don’t.


    Judging by the opening shots, I’m guessing the astronomy department.

  7. That seemed an expensive bit of film making. I wonder where the budget has been cut at that University to pay for it. Being it’s Alaska I would suspect it is in the Biology department, those studying evolution.

  8. Well how many bears can you shoot from a space shuttle is directly equivalent to the number of Moose you can shoot from a Helicopter. It is all in relative terms. This is defined by it being her cousin doing the flying and we know its Uncle Sam footing the bill. It is all relative my friend.

    Good Morning Viet Nam. Yes, that was a relative war, excuse me conflict. Johnson employed Brown and Root which is owned by Haliburton. Which is directed and controlled by the Lady Birds Family. Matel, the sole award of the maker of the stock for the M-16. Matel stock held in blind trust. All relative, which was relative to the apparent relative to the Johnson Family Blind Trust. Ah, Cheney learned well.

  9. Speaking of Sarah, you know, you can see that bear from her backyard on a clear winter night leading some to conclude she is an expert in both hockey and cosmology.

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