George Bush: Motivational Speaker

225px-george-w-bushGeorge Bush appears to have finally found his calling. According to this report, he will start his new career this month as a motivational speaker with “Get Motivated!” (the exclamation point is part of the official name) in Fort Worth, Texas.

Bush will speak for twenty minutes to motivate an audience that will pay $4.95 a person. People are hoping he will show how a little effort can destroy a main political party, strip a nation of all credibility and sympathy, and commit a series of officially sanctioned war crimes. That takes motivation.

peter-tamara2Tamara Lowe, the Co-Founder and Executive Vice President of Get Motivated Seminars, Inc., has confirmed Bush’s new calling. You really have to see this cheesy website to fully appreciate the irony, here. The website describes the husband-wife team Peter and Tamara Lowe ” as the dynamic duo” of motivation. I guess their proper title is motivationologists. They promise:

Dazzling pyrotechnics, live music and stunning special effects set the stage . . . in the arenas of time management, leadership, goal achievement, sales training, negotiation, finances, investing, relationships, health, spiritual success, business strategies, motivation, communication skills and much more!

I personally want Bush to do my star chart and guide me on my spiritual success.

Below is the last motivational session Bush gave to unmotivated individuals:

He also has a fantastic diet and fitness plan involving stress positions and gruel. Nine out of ten detainees report rapid weight loss and loss of appetite.

For the full story, click here.

28 thoughts on “George Bush: Motivational Speaker”

  1. First of all Jonathan, I wouldn’t be criticizing a man who was elected two terms for the greatest nation on earth. Especially since you can’t even spell “month.” Hello? You might not have voted for him, but millions did. Yes, he made plenty of mistakes, but which president hasn’t? Or journalist, like yourself?

    I have attended the Get Motivated seminar several times. It is an excellent day to learn, grow, laugh, be challenged, and even address spiritual emptiness in one’s soul. It might do you good if you could step over your ego.

    I’m glad Jesus loves you and George W. Bush. In Texas, we have a slogan, “Don’t criticize your brother, until you have walked a mile in his mocassins.”

  2. Bush can be very motivational…he motivated millions to vote for President Obama didn’t he?

    A few inspirational and hopefully motivational (are you listening AG Holder?)quotes from the Deciderer:

    “I call on all governments to join with the United States and the community of law-abiding nations in prohibiting, investigating, and prosecuting all acts of torture … and we are leading this fight by example.”

    Quoted in “The Dark Art of Interrogation,” The Atlantic Monthly, October 2003

    “Victory means exit strategy, and it’s important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is.”

    (of course this quote was from before he was POTUS and directed at the President Clinton)

    “Give an honest day’s work for an honest day’s wages. Tell the truth and be honest. Don’t cheat or steal….And always remember: You are responsible for the decisions you make.”

    – George W. Bush, address at Texas A&M University, April 6, 1998

  3. WOW, the recession cannot be denied any longer. The speaking fees for war criminals are taking a nose dive . Someone should tell Paul Krugman about this, pronto! It’s really bad out there. I wasn’t even worried about the economy until I read this. It’s gold bars for me until this gets straightened out!

    P.S. New American Proverb:

    Where there are speakers, there are protesters.

  4. Elaine M.,

    This one’s for you. Kinda reminds me of Yogism’s. That’s Yogi Berra for all of the others.

    “I’d find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I’d return it.” — When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.

    [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ux3DKxxFoM&hl=en&fs=1&]

  5. AY–

    “Does anyone remember when W had an emergency state of the union (note all small letters) and looked coked out of his mind (?)”

    ***************

    Mind? What mind?

    But seriously…I think Bush suffers from what is known as “wet brain” syndrome.

    You might want to check out this article written by Dr. James West of the Betty Ford Center: “Alcoholics Sometimes Suffer From “Wet Brain” Condition.

    http://www.bettyfordcenter.org/news/findings/warticle.php?id=6

  6. rafflaw 1, October 22, 2009 at 7:28 am

    Wow. I have now seen everything….I guess he can motivate Condoleeza Rice to actually stand up to him or he can motivate himself to stand up to Dick Cheney.

    *******************

    Now did not Condo call W her Husband on National TV once?

  7. Does anyone remember when W had an emergency state of the union (note all small letters) and looked coked out of his mind. He was in bad shape. I bet he saw the ghost of Lincoln past.

  8. Can I pay for it using my PayPal account?

    $4.95?? Sounds more like the price of a value meal at a fast food joint than a seminar speaking price.

    Like they say, you pay for what you get!

  9. Colin Powell will also be a speaker, here. That could get awkward. The AT&T Center only holds about 18,000 and at about $5 a head, that’s not a lot of money left over after expenses.

  10. Ms. Tamara–sans the big hair–was on The Rachel Maddow Show last night.

    I think Dubyah is a fine motivator–he nearly motivated me to move to Canada.

    I’m sure “The Decider” will give folks who attend his session some excellent tips on how to go through one’s life without having had a real job and without having accomplished anything of value and still managing to get elected President of the US. What an inspiration!

  11. whoolie:

    “… Well, maybe Jesus still loves him.”

    ****************

    That’s no big deal, He loves everybody–or so I am told.

  12. The mind numbing depravity that is George Bush. Well, maybe Jesus still loves him.

  13. “Dazzling pyrotechnics, live music and stunning special effects set the stage . . . ”

    *************

    And by the way, isn’t the forgoing a pretty apt description of Bush’s foreign policy in Iraq and Afghanistan? See, birds of a feather!

  14. JT:

    I think you got it wrong here JT. The website clearly states in its FAQ page that the seminars will provide “Steps to Becoming a Stronger, More Strategic Decision-Maker.” Bush isn’t speaking, he’s simply there to learn! Why not some love for a guy trying to better himself? Maybe he can use it when he runs for President the second time around. You, as an educator, should applaud this effort at remediation.

  15. Wow. I have now seen everything. The man who was asleep on the job before 9/11 and the man who has tortured just about any Muslim he could get his hands on, except for Bin Laden, is supposed to be able to motivate people??? I guess he can motivate Condoleeza Rice to actually stand up to him or he can motivate himself to stand up to Dick Cheney. I would hope he could motivate himself to admit to all of the errors and criminal misdeeds that he and his regime committed over an 8 year time span. Pardon Me is correct, maybe it is worth $4.95…Maybe.

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