An American Thanksgiving Tale: Family Members Brawl Over Turkey Stuffing and Then Eat As Guests of the Land O’Lakes Jail

Thanksgiving holidays are notorious for bringing out family stress and divisions. However, for those who had fights with siblings and parents this holiday, you can take a degree of solace in comparing your day to that of the Smith family of Hudson, Florida who ended up having Thanksgiving in jail over a disagreement involving the proper way to stuff a Turkey.

Elizabeth Smith, 21, was shocked when she woke up at 7 a.m. on Thanksgiving Day to stuff her turkey — only to find that her father-in-law Donald “Junior” Smith, 49, had beat her to it. It was not how she wanted it stuffed and, to make matters worse, he used celery which her husband Tristan Smith, 21, is allergic to.

The shouting match erupted.

Junior blamed Elizabeth as incompetent and said that no one was helping him cook. Elizabeth said that she wanted to cook but no one woke her. Tristan intervened in defense of his wife. It soon turned physical as the men rolled around the house and ended up in the room of Tristan’s 3-year-old son and 5-month-old daughter.

Then Tristan’s mom, Joan Ethel Brewster, 54, grabbed Elizabeth by the hair and scratched her — pulling her hair out and causing bleeding on her face.

Joan called the police and she and Junior were arrested and booked . . . wait for it . . . at the Land O’Lakes Jail.

They were held for Thanksgiving and had dinner in jail — presumably properly prepared by others.

After the arrests, Elizabeth finished cooking the meal and held Thanksgiving for the remaining relatives. In the ultimate happy ending, she insisted that “[i]t still turned out all right.”

A truly American Thanksgiving tale.

For the full story, click here.

9 thoughts on “An American Thanksgiving Tale: Family Members Brawl Over Turkey Stuffing and Then Eat As Guests of the Land O’Lakes Jail”

  1. lol

    It’s some consolation I suppose. But only because I use a QWERTY keyboard instead of a Dvorak.

  2. Buddha:

    if it is any consolation to you D and R are close together on the ergonomic keyboard. And recently have been interchangeable.

    So RNC/DNC = F . . . d America.

  3. One word solution.


    For the whole lot of them. Turkey and all.

    And Byron! Shame on you. With the RNC’s track record on science and health as evidenced by their stands on stem cells and abortion, ehh, you picked the wrong punchline. See, for a joke to work, there must be some sort of dramatic contrast as well as correlation. In the RNC you have a record of scientific ignorance which correlates nicely to not knowing your own kids have allergies AND contrasts science/ignorance.

    I’m not saying it’s a bad joke. I’m saying it could have been better. And more accurate.

    I blame too much stuffing. The holidays are slowing you down, old man!

  4. I wish that they had had access to the flipping machine. Nah, it would have taken some of the fun out of the good times. Nothing quite like a good all out brawl on Thanksgiving Morning. I wonder what they have in store for Christmas?

    The observation that dad was not even aware that the son was allergic to celery shows that the family has more issues than just this.

  5. I’m confused; Daddy Donald Smith wasn’t even aware that his own son Tristan was allergic to celery??? I have a feeling this story is just the latest in a long line of family funtime for the Smiths…

    1. Flipkid:

      Indeed it is. If you read the article, there is a long troubling history for the family.

  6. Wow! That is one funky family. It is so sad to see this kind of behavior by “adults”. It makes you wonder what is going to happen to the kids. It may be a good thing if they were separated from these braniacs.

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