Study: Paleolithic Women Dug Farmers

If you really want to impress women, join the Grange or the FFA. That is the finding of a remarkable study of the DNA of most British men that shows that they are direct descendants of farmers who left Iraq and Syria over 10,000 years ago. It turns out that hunter-gatherer women dug the fact that they could grow food and dumped those bronzed spear-throwing hunks for guys with farmer’s tans.

The study of 2000 men by Leicester University found 80 per cent of European men share the same Y chromosone mutation linking them to farmers coming over from the Near East. What is fascinating is the women were linked to hunter-gatherer groups.

Professor Mark Jobling put it in less than romantic terms: “When the expansion happened these men had a reproductive advantage because they were able to grow more food so they were more attractive to women and had more offspring.” What I do not understand is why this never worked for me in college. My standard pick-up line was “Hey, baby, I have three acres of prime farmland and a hankering for offspring.” This was little better than my earlier line: “how about coming up to my place to check out my hectares?”

Once again, I will have to turn to one of my favorite country music tunes to explain this scientific finding:

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20 thoughts on “Study: Paleolithic Women Dug Farmers”

  1. Just a quickie couplet as told from the perspective of a sexually frustrated paleolithic male hunter-gatherer:

    He beat his spear into a plow.
    He gets all the hot chicks now.

  2. AY–

    Are you telling me they had wedding ceremonies back in the paleolithic day? That must why those male hunter-gatherers are known for coining the saying: Always the groomsman–never the groom.

  3. Elaine M.,

    If I may. I will get you going on the start…..

    Here they are to be wed.

    Some people thought that they might be dead.

    Here they are instead.

    They have been through the days,

    They have been through the nights,

    But when they lay their heads down at night,

    They do so without a fight….

  4. Byron–

    I suppose I could write a humorous verse about paleo hunter gatherers. At the moment, I’m supposed to be working on a poem for a good friend who’s getting married in February. She asked if I’d do a poetry reading at her wedding. I find it much more difficult to write that kind of poem than silly little light verses.

  5. Elaine:

    “These farmers weren’t just reaping the bounty of their agrarian husbandry–but also the booty of the local beauty.”

    very funny.

    can you put that into a poem about paleolithic hunter gatherers?

    I was off hunting a wooly mammoth
    and Urg was playing with dirt
    When much to my chagrin upon my return
    He and my woman were . . .

    A feable attempt.

  6. sezu–

    “who are the other 20% of European men?”

    They are the decendants of the hunters. Evidently, some ladies wanted protein with their fruit and vegetables. Some hunters were therefore able to pass on their genes thanks to the ladies who had a hankering for red meat.

  7. My guess: While the macho guys with spears and bows and arrows were off hunting and grunting and beating their chests, the ladies were making hay with the domestic fellas who liked hanging around home and hearth. These farmers weren’t just reaping the bounty of their agrarian husbandry–but also the booty of the local beauty.

  8. But, my question is,

    who are the other 20% of European men?

    Do they share any odd traits in common?

  9. More likely they can keep an eye on you.

    I think the illustrative country song would be that one about how my wife is horny for my tractor.

    (No idea what it’s actually called. Maybe I don’t accessorize enough).

  10. Hunters form their little guy groups, dress up in smelly buckskins and, with beer bottles clanging, go off for a week to seek the wild beast. More often than not, they come home hung over and empty handed.

    Farmers get up early, eat breakfast in your kitchen, tramp off to the fields with only their lunch pail for company and come home for dinner bringing corn, potatoes, and apples. In short, you don’t go hungry and you can keep an eye on ’em.

  11. P.S. women today are not paleolithic, they are tanolithic.

    But not the unnatural color of John Boehner, real tan baby.

  12. So whats wrong with FFA, it is a good wholesome program. This story does make sense and if I recall correctly when the migration occurred also they were called “Aryan’s” and this came from a country formerly known as Persia. I do remember something about having the root word meaning angel.

    1. Good point Blouise. There is also the point that women just seem to like salads. First guy who showed up with salad fixings, got the cave number.

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