Sumo Arrested After Ripping Cash Machine Out of a Wall

Moscow police have arrested a plus-sized felon. They believe that a sumo wrestler yanked a 200-pound cash machine off the wall and carried it off for the $850 cash inside.

The sumo and an accomplice were arrested in a BMW with tinted windows and the cash machine inside. Interestingly, the accomplice immediately claimed full responsibility and said that he had misled the sumo. How do you mislead someone about ripping a cash machine out of a wall? “Really, that is my cash machine but a guy put it here” or “that machine said it could kick you ass in a Honbasho.”

It is not clear if he did the ritualistic Shiko of stamping of feet on the ground before taking on the machine.

The traffic stop avoided the need for police to stake out Big and Tall Men shops around Moscow for a sumo with a lot of cash.

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10 thoughts on “Sumo Arrested After Ripping Cash Machine Out of a Wall”

  1. You’re all jumping to conclusion sof criminality. “Bankautomat” is a famous American sumo sponsored by CitiBank. The poor fellow just thought it was another face off. 😀

  2. HOpe they can afford to feed the sumo wrestler while he’s in jail, I read that those guys can put a big pile of chickens and noodles away every day.

  3. Hmmm, have I ever felt like this man. I suppose he threw him the right bait.

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