Devil in the Old Gray Lady: Vatican Exorcist Spots Devil Doing Copy for the New York Times

Leading Vatican exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth has come out with the startling revelation that the Devil is driving the news coverage on child abuse and specifically was the co-author of the recent articles implicating the Pope in the New York Times.

We previously followed Amorth’s disclosure that the Devil was within the church, here. Now it appears the Devil is directing events inside and outside the Church. That must be good for business when you are a devil hunter.

The Pope did appear for the washing of a layperson’s feet, an act to symbolize humility (here), while Vatican lawyers emphasized immunity, here.
Father Amorth specifically noted that the coverage by the New York Times was “prompted by the devil.” Yet, he was left off the by line. He was able to spot the Devil’s work when he read “the recent attacks on Pope Benedict XVI regarding some pedophilia cases.”

Now here is the analysis that goes into spotting the Devil in the media: “There is no doubt about it. Because he is a marvelous Pope and worthy successor to John Paul II, it is clear that the devil wants to ‘grab hold’ of him.” It is also clear by implication that the New York Times is the tool of the Devil. Since I write for USA Today, I must assume that the choice for devil-fearing people is obvious.

Now for the five top reasons the New York Times hires Satan as an undisclosed staff reporter:

1. No health benefits needed.

2. A real cut up at the Christmas party.

3. Has a really cool Blackberry filled with good stuff on millions of celebrities and politicians.

4. Has Sarah Palin’s private number.

5. Can get tickets to any Yankees game.

For the full story, click here.

19 thoughts on “Devil in the Old Gray Lady: Vatican Exorcist Spots Devil Doing Copy for the New York Times”

  1. This is what happens when children grow up taught to believe in invisible beings who exert influence on human behavior: angels, demons, gods, Santa Claus, Zeus, etc.

  2. In the Devil’s defense, do you know how hard it is to get a job with “Fallen Archangel” and “Ruler of Hell” as your relevant experience?

    It ain’t easy.

  3. I didn’t know that Dick Cheney worked for The New York Times! Now we can deduce where Cheney’s bunker in that “undisclosed location” IS located–definitely south of purgatory.

  4. 23. Makes what Judy Miller and Dick Cheney pulled off seem relatively good.

  5. It just gets worse and worse and worse.

    The Vatican now dares the unspeakable, and compares some justifiable criticism — criticism, not persecution — to the centuries of anti-semitic crimes against the Jewish people, culminating in six million deaths in World War II.

    I hope “John” and some of the other defenders come out of the woodwork and give us their take on this one.

    NY Times today:
    “ROME — A senior Vatican priest speaking at a Good Friday service compared the uproar over sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic Church — which have included reports about Pope Benedict XVI’s oversight role in two cases — to the persecution of the Jews, sharply raising the volume in the Vatican’s counterattack.”

  6. When you define “reporting verifiable facts” as “making an attack” you’re off to a bad start.

    I wonder which Saints and Apostles this guy thinks are doing the writing over at Faux News? Or maybe this is a Vatican conspiracy to try to get future President Palin to convert to Catholicism?

  7. Oh, yes! It is the devil’s fault that the Catholic Church is embroiled in priestly child sexual.

  8. I found this to be pretty damned funny; after realizing Father Amorth is serious, I just about fell of the chair laughing – just what I needed on a Friday afternoon!!!!

  9. AY,

    I figured you were referring to one of THOSE Georges. lol.

    Interesting stuff about the Specter trial. I didn’t follow it closely. Will go back and take a look. As a musician, though, I really appreciated his contribution to contemporary music production.

  10. George,

    At first I read this on my cell phone and was going to say I don’t give a fuck. But then I read it on here to make sure I was not offensive and realized that you had a smiley face on it. lol, the Devil’s name could be George, Karl, Dick, Nancy, Harry, Barry aka Barak take your choice.

    I read something the other day about Phil Specter and it has had me pondering that maybe the Judge in his trial is also the devil reincarnate as well. It is alleged that he was not going to have a not guilty verdict in his court and shaped the Defenses witnesses and testimony.

    From what I have read the woman that he “Killed” was near death in the toxicity of the various drugs in her body. And Specter may have feared for his life as she came over for money and drugs in exchange for sex. She was a known prostitute for high dollar clients, making as much as 50K a weekend. This was not allowed to be introduced.

  11. hmmm. Between what the NY Times did to our country by helping get us into the war with Iraq via Judith Miller (among other things) and what the Catholic Church (and other organizations that have control over groups of kids, like the Boy Scouts) has done to enable and foster pedophiles, these two make a good couple.

    With friends like these, who needs enemies?

    The New York Times and The Catholic Church
    Sitting in a tree
    K – I – S – S – I – N – G – !
    First comes love
    Then comes …..

  12. 11. Partially a misguided attempt to hire an expert on ‘the details.’

    12. The Metatron was overqualified.

    13. He’s GREAT sales man.

    14. I-pod is full of the best music.

    15. Married to the boss’s niece.

  13. Will Harris soon publish a poll on the NYT, the pope, the good Father Amorth, himself?

  14. Lets see.First the excuse that “Teenagers” were molested and Not “Plubecite Children”.Then the John Paul Reasoning.Now its Flip Wilson time,”The Devil made me do it”!In my opinion,the Vatican IS the Greatest Fraud Perpetrated on Mankind in History!!!The Great Harlot is Revealed!Jesus said to the church in Revelation,”Come out of Her,My People”.Final warning! Last Call!PS-Invoking Diplomatic Immunity Is a Definite Sign of GUILT!

  15. From Fr. Gabriele Amorth via the article:

    “… the devil “uses” priests in order to cast blame upon the entire Church: “The devil wants the death of the Church because she is the mother of all the saints.”

    “He combats the Church through the men of the Church, but he can do nothing to the Church.”


    Then one must logically conclude that the Devil is in the publishing business otherwise why would he conjure up all this holy scandal? Given the recent spate of celebrity news a la’ Tiger Woods, the exorcist with the appropriate first name may have a considerable point. Sadly, that point is affixed rather tightly to his head.

    As for his assertion that the Devil “can do nothing to the Church,” how could anyone possible disagree with that? I bet Zeus can’t lay a glove on the Church either. That solemn responsibility, if accepted, falls to the laity.

  16. 6. Will torture potential news sources for all eternity, if needed, to make them talk.

    7. Really helps out on the winter heating bills with all that free hellfire.

    8. Is very handy if you want to get even with someone … permanently.

    9. Is a good source of information on past Popes, since, as Dante reported in Inferno, there are so many of them down there in Hell with him.

    10. Carries a sign: “Will work for souls.”

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