Coming to a College Campus Near You: Vodka Eyeballing

There was a time when we got things like the Beatles and Monty Python from our British cousins. The most recent import from England, however, is far less redeeming: vodka eyeballing. Upset that vodka shots took too long to be absorbed into their blood streams, British drinkers have discovered that pouring vodka directly into your eye socket results in a faster avenue to inebriation.

Students are experiencing constantly watering eyes that are left with permanent injuries from the stupid practice. One college student in the article below reports “I’m in constant pain because of what I did. And I’m terrified that it will get worse. I wish I could turn the clock back and change things. But I can’t.” I must confess sympathy but not a great deal of sympathy. Sticking a vodka bottle on your eye would be a patently stupid and dangerous act for any rational actor (which may, of course, exclude a significant number of college students).

For the full story, click here.

22 thoughts on “Coming to a College Campus Near You: Vodka Eyeballing”

  1. AY:

    You would be correct – I don’t pretend to know all myself. Which leads me to … “Hillbilly Hottub” … had to look that one up 🙂

  2. The eye is the only external organ in the body attached directly to the brain by a cranial nerve. It is coverec by a thin membrane. So I am guessing that the alcohol absorbs directly through the tissues of the eye to the cranial nerve and then a straight shot into the brain.

    Or possibly into the arteries that feed into the back of the eye socket and they by counter current loop back into the brain.

    My guess these fools will get very early cataracts and glacoma as those tissues will be dehydrated, sort of cooked, by the alcohol and the are tissues that do not regenerate.

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