Carp Czar: Durbin Asks Obama For A New Position To Take On the Asian Carp

U.S. Sen. Dick Durbin (D., IL) is calling for yet another czar in an already czar-heavy administration. This appointee might feel a bit insecure and self-conscious around the Afghanistan Czar, Border Czar, and Car Czar. He would be the Carp Czar tasked with tackling the influx of Asian carp in Lake Michigan. The greatest challenge will be to keep from confusing the Carp Czar and the Tarp Czar (Herb Allison).

The call for the newest (of dozens of Obama czars) was triggered by the discovery of a bighead carp, a variety of Asian carp, in Lake Calumet, just six miles from Lake Michigan.

Durbin wants legislation to ask the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to look at “hydrologic separation” between the Great Lakes and the Mississippi River — a massive project that would close the locks and canals between the waterways that have functions for 100 years.

Durbin is correct that this is not just about the carp. There are a variety of invasive species threatening the lake. Lake Michigan is already being devastated by the zebra mussel.

Source: ChicagoBreakingNews.

11 thoughts on “Carp Czar: Durbin Asks Obama For A New Position To Take On the Asian Carp”

  1. roflol

    raff my friend, you have truly outdone yourself this time. Most well played! First class sarcasm and satire.

  2. Hey! Durbin is trying to steal my job as Carp Czar! I was planning on using this job to speed up my retirement. I had it all planned out. I would eradicate the carp by hiring BP to drill a well in the middle of Lake Calumet and by the time they were done, no more carp! Of course, no more Lake Trout, no more Walleye, no more Coho, no more nothing. But at least the Carp would be gone and I would be able to get my life back again!

  3. If the Senate would stop routinely filibustering the confirmations of Administration department heads, we’d have more Secretaries and fewer “czars”.

  4. bLOUISE:

    we are talking the federal government and Corps of Engineers here. Please get serious. đŸ™‚

  5. There is a way to handle zebra mussels … talk to the people who run one of the water departments west of Cleveland … they figured it out a long time ago and the cost is minimal.

  6. pardon me?

    carpe piscis


    Perfect! Best quip of the morning … hell, best quip of the month!

  7. where does one apply for this sweet position and does it come with benes? Listen, I know my Carp! I’m qualified! Show me the money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. And you want the 5th circuit to do something for the people? You must be kidding. It is corporate feudalism at best. Business can do no wrong.

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