Anzio Landing: Italian Police Investigate Topless “Attractive Woman” Putting On Sun Lotion

While the French are cracking down on people walking around in bathing suits, the Italians are dealing with the case of the over-oiled sun bather. Anzio beach has not seen such fierce fighting since the Fifth Army’s VI Corps landed in 1944. The cause was a single Italian woman who was putting on sun lotion in a “sensual” way. The woman is described by police as “attractive” and topless. A mother brought the charge and said that the scene was a distraction for her sons aged 12 and 14.


The 26-year-old woman is identified only as Luisa but breathlessly described by the Italian police who investigated the matter thoroughly. The police report that they “took her details and she argued, still topless, that she could so no harm in what she was doing as it was a public beach.” The spokesman made sure to add, again, that “[f]rom what I heard she was very attractive.”

In the meantime, six local banks were likely robbed and the local art museum looted while the local police were investigating the matter.

Source: News

29 thoughts on “Anzio Landing: Italian Police Investigate Topless “Attractive Woman” Putting On Sun Lotion”

  1. Ya know, with modern standards of police work, they probably should have documented a “recreation” of the scenario. And a lineup back at the station of six very similar looking, similarly attired “suspects” to pick from…. You know, with, uh, CSI and all that…

    The students of the local all-boy’s Catholic high school really should organize and present this woman with an honorary degree or at least a certificate of appreciation!

    (or this story is a symptom of the Berlusconi dominated Italian news media, where “boobies are news” stories are meant to crowd out real journalism about Berlusconi’s corruption…)

  2. Yissil,

    “le donne attraenti” is attractive women.

    And I was volunteering to inspect.

    Not sure what Google Translate was thinking, but I agree. Violins are nice too.

  3. Buddha:

    I looked that up on google translate, and, no, I don’t want to inspect your attractive violin.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  4. Buddha,

    Hey, don’t cut into the territory .. You are in coon country, so go pay attention to the dogs….Plus, you have that sicko to take care of…. see what Yissil has had to say…..

    Yissil,

    I will offer as condolences that these are truer words that have never been spoken…….

    omerta, amico, omert

    and in the end…..its all ciao……some fish with boots, others suit cases, some take the concrete business with them, some like chain mail….

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