Anzio Landing: Italian Police Investigate Topless “Attractive Woman” Putting On Sun Lotion

While the French are cracking down on people walking around in bathing suits, the Italians are dealing with the case of the over-oiled sun bather. Anzio beach has not seen such fierce fighting since the Fifth Army’s VI Corps landed in 1944. The cause was a single Italian woman who was putting on sun lotion in a “sensual” way. The woman is described by police as “attractive” and topless. A mother brought the charge and said that the scene was a distraction for her sons aged 12 and 14.

The 26-year-old woman is identified only as Luisa but breathlessly described by the Italian police who investigated the matter thoroughly. The police report that they “took her details and she argued, still topless, that she could so no harm in what she was doing as it was a public beach.” The spokesman made sure to add, again, that “[f]rom what I heard she was very attractive.”

In the meantime, six local banks were likely robbed and the local art museum looted while the local police were investigating the matter.

Source: News

29 thoughts on “Anzio Landing: Italian Police Investigate Topless “Attractive Woman” Putting On Sun Lotion”

  1. I volontari di ispezionare le donne attraenti.

    And I’ll work cheap . . .

  2. Yissil,

    when the Sicilians are quite and thoughtful, which, I might add goes hand in hand, it is a very eerie feeling that over comes one, sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly. I won’t acknowledge a vicious side, what I will offer is, please don’t offend.

  3. AY:

    I asked the Sicilian friends of my youth what they thought of the Texas Mafia and they grew quiet and thoughtful.

  4. LOL How did I know when I saw the headline that this thread would become the most active at light-speed? LOL

    The Professor is indeed an indulgent blawg-meister to his ‘boys’ and bless his heart for it. 🙂

    BTW, the shirtless photo of The Hoff in his prime did not go unnoticed either; the Professor provides for all of his readers and bless his heart for that too. 🙂

  5. Yissil,

    I see that you have a preconceived notion of the bellas’. I have just a peripheral experience with them and the notable society in which they are en-graced. Therefore to my understanding, I should be the anointed one to assure that we have no biases towards or against. Now if it was investigating Texans and Corruption. Well, I am sure that you could excel quite well. If the feds are not seeking ethical violations against Tom DeLay, well, the terms of your employment and tenure would be indeterminate. Because, exactly what is not corruption if you look at DeLays history…..Not that you’d need to invent the wheel…the spokes might just need a little tightening…Therefore, you Yissil, as the chosen one, have your role cut out for you.

    If per chance my name ever comes up in that, remember that I subscribe to the LBJ school of public elimination of threats , perceived or otherwise. I think that they have a school at UT and you may obtain your Master in Public Policy and by George it has the same name. The LBJ School of Public Affairs…..speaking of which….he went the same way Happy Rockefeller. He died with his Mistress…..what a way to go…Ride em’ Cowboy…..

  6. AY,

    I grew up in an Italian neighborhood. Really, I did. Well, sort of on the border. Anyway, there weren’t any topless beaches on Long Island sound in those days but I can assure you that had anything even remotely resembling the scenario described here presented itself it would have hit us like a punch in the stomach, causing us to swoon and pine. If you know what I mean.

    So perhaps I was projecting from my youthful 1970’s experience to the current situation. Also, all my friends were sicilian or calabrian, from down south, because that is where they keep the poor people in Italy, and it is generally belived in that rustic hinterland that northerners are less virile. The Americans were trying to get out of the south as fast as possible when they haplessly landed on the topless beach. I had a science teacher who was there for the hapless landing. He was also Italian. And probably from the south. Probably had heard rumours abouot the bella ragazza who were bored with those palid northeners, causing them (the bellas) to lubricate their extremities in a “come hither” kind of way.

    The mother who brought the charges was worried about her adolescent, and presumably italian, boys, being distracted. So there you have it. The more things change.

  7. Prof,

    Sometimes if you catch an image just right it will take you to snap shot etc. Sometimes the links to the threads will show the snap as well. It is not something that makes or breaks me.

    Now getting to the bottom of this particular thread and keeping abreast of the attenuating issues, has at this moment concerned for other peoples safety. I know that it is a task and chore, but I volunteer to your front person on this topic. Heck who knows, with generous contributions maybe I shall take a trip abroad, develop the press and report back to the thread the entangled story of proper etiquette in applying sun tan oil while topless on the beaches.

    For now……this is as it goes….reporting …..from a small city in west side….Les Nessman….

  8. Yissil,

    How do you come about that knowledge in which you speak? Were you trained early? Was it Catholic Nuns? Exactly what was the ideal that was planted in your head.

  9. AY:

    I looked up the legal term: it was a presumption of fact.

    It was based on a general knowledge of Italian men.

    Or just men for that matter.

  10. I think that we really need to be able to study the evidence in detail before forming an opinion on this incident.

    Well, I do anyway.

  11. hahahaha! ‘A mother brought the charge and said that the scene was a distraction for her sons aged 12 and 14.’…she could send those boyo’s to Canada and have them tested for naughty thoughts….

    p.s. on the snaps…couldn’t be the bather she wasn’t wearing a bra 😉

    and you can turn off the snaps in the upper right hand corner of the %^%$$&$@!^%@ thing…..

  12. Ok, Yissil,

    Tell us about the pop ups you saw…Were you on the beach at the time that they occurred?

    1. I just saw the complaints about pop-ups on the corrections page and I have tried to make an adjustment. I do not know the cause. Please tell me if the problem continues.

  13. You know why they had to get that woman off the beach?

    She was causing pop-ups!!

  14. Prof,

    See the correction page. There is a discussion from Lotta and Slarti as well as Buddha.

  15. Woolie…

    As the self appointed Investigator for this thread….I need some explanation on what you mean by the term ..Boobs…what do you mean…..

  16. I am available to do the investigation…..Buddha, how about you?

    You really have to be kidding me, that this is worthy of the Policia’s time.

    “Police were called to a beach at Anzio south of Rome by a furious mother who said the way the “attractive” sunbather was rubbing lotion on her body had “troubled her sons aged 14 and 12.”

    I think the facts are the momma chick didn’t want no foxes in her hen house….

    You say you “Boys” are 14 and 12? Hmmmmmmmm, I can just imagine the pivotal expressions of these boys…..

    You say shes attractive? Hmmmmmmmmm…..maybe this is worth exploring further…..

    You say she was rubbing the oil on her body which I presume means breasts……well…where do usually rub suntan lotion in public……

    Face it Mama Mia…the boys were…well…. being boys….now if they didn’t want to look….well…maybe there is the other side of the beach for them….You, Mama Mia probably would wanna stay home as I am sure your heart could not take the special charm that might be evoked…..

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