Holy, Inseam, Batman! Bank Robber Foiled By Baggy Pants

While we have been criticizing public officials for their criminalization of baggy pants, it appears that we can now add the objection that they are assisting crime by requiring tailored outfits. Columbus police have a video showing a man who failed in a bank robbery effort when he tripped over his baggy pants.

The baggy gunman entered the bank in the afternoon and assaulted two employees before fleeing with money. However, his baggy pants tripped him up and then the dye pack went off in the money. He proceeded to drop the bag and flee (as best he could) in his baggy pants.

This was not, however, the first felon foiled by baggy pants, here.

Source: Columbus Dispatch

19 thoughts on “Holy, Inseam, Batman! Bank Robber Foiled By Baggy Pants

  1. Bda,

    I’ll leave this on a couple threads … I have an organization in Haiti recommended by DeWine and it looks like a very good one.

  2. Here’s a little “how to” poem I wrote for “would-be” bank robbers:

    If You Want to Rob a Bank
    by Elaine M.

    Put on a mask,
    Grab a gun,
    A canvas bag…
    And when you’re done,
    Walk into a bank
    And loudly say:
    “I’m gonna rob
    This bank today.”

    But if you hope
    To get away,
    Evade police…
    Arrest—then, hey,
    Don’t be
    Wearing baggy pants.
    You won’t escape…
    Won’t stand a chance.

  3. Great poem Elaine, but this perp doesn’t have enough brain power
    to actually read a poem! I have always wondered about the baggy pants guys that I see on the street. I just don’t understand what the attraction is to pants that hang below your behind!

  4. He brought a bag to put the cash in
    Exploding dye bag cooled his passion
    His pants fell down, his face turned ashen
    Felony foiled by foolish fashion

  5. HenMan,

    It’s too bad that so little light verse gets published these days. I love the clever light verse written by people like Ogden Nash, Dorothy Parker, and others.

    Here are three clerihews I wrote a couple of years ago:

    Socrates’
    Analyses
    Were deducted, so they say,
    Through an interminable series of Q and A.

    Eve,
    So naive
    In her birthday suit,
    Tempted Adam with forbidden fruit.

    Sir Isaac Newton—
    There’s no refutin’—
    With a force of nature had to grapple
    When he got conked on the head with a falling apple.

  6. ElaineM- Outstanding!!!

    Two of my favorites from long ago-
    (1) The shortest poem in the English language:
    FLEAS:
    Adam had’em

    (2) In this vale
    Of toil and sin,
    Your head grows bald
    But not your chin

    Burma-Shave

  7. Since reading this one I’ve had “Baggy Trousers” by 80’s English Ska band, Madness.

    I’ll leave it for someone else to embed, but it’s a great video. Madness were well known for knocking out great videos for a few grand when other bands were spending hundreds of thousands on stuff that wasn’t anywhere near as entertaining.

  8. I understand the thief’s fashion motivation, you shouldn’t go to work without dressing appropriately, in this case the baggie look of a convict. Some fashion statements cost more than others, but they are all valuable.

  9. Hukoto Ken,

    Thanks for the link. I once had a spirited discussion with someone in law enforcement after I heard him say that “bad people have bad credit.” And he was head of the department…

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