Politics of Contraband: Jerks Smuggle Jerky to Finance 34 Mile Trip

Submitted by Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

Steve Martin’s character, Navin Johnson, has nothing on two West Virginia residents hell-bent to rescue a relative with car trouble. Hearing the plea for help, but without sufficient funds to finance the 34 mile trip from Somerset, PA to New Stanton, PA, cousins Michael Allen Graham, 37, and John Edward Barry, 35,  got  resourceful. Believing they could “live off the land,” so to speak, the Milton, WVa duo began an alleged shoplifting spree at gas stations and auto parts stores in the general direction of the disabled motorist.

Police say in an affidavit they saw “a large amount of boxed and packaged beef jerky,”  “Slim Jims,” and socket sets on the car’s rear seat. The two-man gang hoped to sell their take for gas and toll money. The reason for the stop was that police noticed that the pair’s front license plate was precariously hanging from the bumper.

You can’t make this stuff up!

Source: msnbc

~Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

47 thoughts on “Politics of Contraband: Jerks Smuggle Jerky to Finance 34 Mile Trip”

  1. Blouise

    Hang on to your Fenton glass. They almost went out of business a couple of years ago from mismanagement by the family that owns it when they didn’t pay their taxes. They pulled it out of the fire and are doing better now, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it happens again.

  2. Blouise
    1, February 20, 2011 at 9:53 pm
    From another thread: Blouise: “Lotta,

    Indeed, our great minds are in sync on many issues which leads me to issue an invitation to you to join me in my small cameo appearance in mespo’s upcoming movie extravagance on the “Politics of Contraband:” thread. Together we may play the loony ladies who run the meth lab in our shack hidden in the hills of West Virgina.

    We might be hailed as “overnight successes” and “scene stealing stars” or “where in the hell did the director find those two idiots” … but, whatever the outcome, we will have a seat at the Oscars/Globes party table to watch and cheer for the others as they accept their well-deserved awards.

    The red carpet awaits …”

    Oh my, yes!! (How did I miss this thread?) LOL. We can sell meth and meat pies. The party table would be the highlight of my film career without a doubt 🙂

  3. Blouise,’

    I was envisioning you pulling a horse trailer down the HWY with your children and an armed guard manufacturing meth and crack…Then again….you could use the 1962 Winnebago with the awing still out driving down the road…

    SWM could drive shot gun….LK, roof guard…. an eye for detail….

  4. Buckeye,

    I have a cupboardful of dishes and glassware from the different factories that used to be in business down there. It’s still a lovely place to visit … we begin at Lake Erie at the northern most point of Rt. 83 and travel south to Marietta … and then over the river to West Virginia. It’s a beautiful drive.

  5. This could be funny as a Bill Murray type Ground-Hogs Day…… Or the Heist that Never Was….

  6. I kept wondering why Milton WV sounded familiar. Now I know – it’s a town I’ve visited before and certainly will again.

    These two fellows must have been in a hurry. They could have picked up seconds in the museum yard which would be quite a bit more valuable than beef jerky – though more difficult to get rid of.


    WV and south-eastern OH used to have 60 glass factories since the silica needed to make glass is prominent in the soil. Fenton Glass is just up the road at Williamstown WV.


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