Submitted by Elaine Magliaro, Guest Blogger
All you Christian warriors out there best make ready for battle! Sean Hannity and the Catholic League’s Bill Donohue are now claiming that there is a war on Easter. “Oh no!” you say. “Who would do such a thing?” Why, Lady Gaga, comedian Ricky Gervais, and a few other dastardly demons—that’s who.
I even heard it through the grapevine that the CEO of Easter Bunnies, Inc., is hopping mad. I was told that he’s organized his bunny brigade and worked in co-operation with the president of Hatchling Chicks Corporation to devise a plan to go after anti-Easterites like Lady Gaga and Gervais.
Get your trebuchets ready! I’ll bring eggs. We’re planning to meet in Mister MacGregor’s garden tomorrow at the first light of dawn. We’ll shell the hard-boiled enemies of Easter ova and ova again until they surrender. They won’t know what hit them.
Are you ready to join me and my fellow warriors?
More about the War on Easter:
Stephen Colbert has an excellent summary of the story for us here: Easter Under Attack—Egg Edition
Fox News And Catholic League’s Bill Donohue Invent ‘War On Easter’ (Think Progress)
Easter Brings Out the Crazies (Catholic League)
Hannity – War on Easter (4.21.11) I couldn’t embed video. Here’s the link:
Matthew 12:7, KJV, “But if ye had know what this meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice, ye would not have condemned the guiltless.”
In the context of the totality of all of existence, who or what constitutes “the guiltless”?
Or, are all words and arrangements of words meaningless?
Or, are some words and/or word arrangements meaningful and others meaningless; and if that be so, who or what is truthfully and demonstrably empowered to decide, without error, which is which?
What the Buddha said.
Also, nowhere in the bible does it say that Jesus said anything about tithing. Jesus also said nothing about homosexuality or abortions. He did actually talk about taking care or the poor and helpless, so you did get that part right, but that is the part you teaparty types keep ignoring. Keep shoveling that manure.
Why look! It’s Free Market Jesus! Here to maximize his profits! Whoo hooo! Screw the sick and the poor! Look out! It’s Free Market Jesus! Here he comes! Look busy!
Jackass.
Seriously, have you actually read the Bible, HiR? Or do you just like to hit yourself in the head with it?
HIR,God’s plan for tithing has nothing to do with our government or our country. Keep your religion out of the government.
pete,
amen.
HIR
1, April 24, 2011 at 11:24 pm
Otteray Scrib
If Jesus were in charge today I can assure you people wouldn’t be asking for that which they didn’t work for
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where to start
try reading your bible more and stop listening to what your leaders tell you is in there.
you might be suprised
or you might read it and just cherry pick what you want to remember to fit what you already believe (that’s the one i’m bettin on)
Otteray Scribe
You missed my point about reaping and sowing. If Jesus were in charge today I can assure you people wouldn’t be asking for that which they didn’t work for. Remember that God has a tithing plan and most choose not to follow it thereby putting themselves under a curse. Also, I can assure you if Jesus were in charge there would be no homosexuality, abortions, taking advantage of the poor and helpless, etc.
Your problem is you do not believe in personal accountability and responsibility. Name one country that thrived because of handouts. Haven’t you watched what has happened to the Indian population that has taken from the government compared to those who chose not to. Those who chose not are thriving because of the free market and the others are dependent still.
My heart is open just fine. I appreciate fairy tales as literature.
Yep, goes right with those biblical teachings of Jesus. Like “Let the little children suffer,” and “It is easier to for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a poor man to get into Heaven.” Then there is the one that says, “Do unto others before they have a chance to do unto you.”
I am sure Jesus used a means test before he healed the leper. And if anyone in that crowd wanted a loaf and fish, he damn well had to show that Jesus fellow that he was trying to help him or herself first. Nothing like a means test to establish your christian credentials as a helper.
KERRY
Thanks!
Buddha Is Laughing
Well, I am still praying for you even if your heart is hardened towards God!
HIR
I know what you are saying. Here in my town many people in need have stopped going to the local churches because the church verifies they are trying to help themselves with what you mentioned above. They would rather keep those accessory benefits and go to the government who doesn’t check up on them. I feel bad for them but if they can’t first help themselves then why should anybody take pity on them.
And I care even less about that, Thumper.
Really.
I am compassionate towards those in need but am not afraid to take note of the cause of their misfortune. If all of us would be truthful about what we are trying to do to get out of our situations then maybe we can turn a corner. There are many people I know going through difficult times but they do not want to give up their cell phones, cable TV, internet, etc. This is this problem because unless they are ready to humble themselves to the cards they have been dealt then they will never get out of their situation.
Buddha Is Laughing
I am praying for you too!
J. Brian Harris, Ph.D., P.E
Thanks for making my point. One reaps what they sow. Not in America at the expense of government. You see our government believes in rewarding those who don’t work by providing EXTENDED unemployment benefits. EXTENDED means they didn’t pay for it. The govt. provides food stamps, WIC, etc. all of which are not earned but given.
I don’t care.
Really.
I don’t.
Buddha Is Laughing 1, April 24, 2011 at 8:20 pm
Then you clearly don’t understand my last comment.
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What you find clear is clearly not what many others find clear.
Why did so many attorneys that my wife and I consulted, when we were being trashed by the Door County Circuit Court phenomenon, attempt to coerce us (unsuccessfully) into telling lies?
The joke circulating among the real people in Door County, is, in the Door County Circuit Court, the better Liar wins, only that word is spelled, “Lawyer” while being pronounced “Liar”…
I have collected stories from folks I find trustworthy, of local judges laughing in court at defendants for being truthful.
I allow that you are entitled to your mistaken understanding of my understanding.
Who, among humans, is incapable of being mistaken?
When terrible things happen, I never get the last laugh, because I never begin to laugh at terrible things happening. So, with me, attorneys will always get the last laugh.
I forgive you and I forgive your mistaken understanding; and do so not only because it is late on Easter Sunday, with the sky darkening, here.
You are welcome.
Why yes it does, OS. Thank you for asking.
I understood it. Does that count?