Travel Blog

Notice: Interruption of Service This Weekend For The End of Times

As many people are aware, the world will end on May 21, 2011 which is likely to cause an interruption in service on the Turley blog. Fortunately, your host will be going to his annual weekend at Shrine Mont with other families. I expect our weekend bloggers to remain at their posts through the rapture while I await the rapture on a mountain top in Virginia in a pure and sanctified state. I remind everyone that during the end of the world we will maintain the policy of civility and decorum on the blog. Profanity and uncontrolled screaming are strongly discouraged. There is also a chance that anonymity will be lost in the post-rapture judgment on any trolls.

Last weekend in New York, the troops were out with signs announcing the end of the world. It took a bit of explaining to the kids, but I reminded them that this meant no end of term exams (which mollified them).

The Family Radio Worldwide and its leader Harold Camping have done an amazing job in informing millions of our collective demise this weekend. For us at the Turley blog, it is not an end but an opportunity. While I cleanse my soul at Shrine Mont (while fishing), I know that our bloggers will remain online up to the rapture for hundreds of millions of people surfing the Internet at the last minute. To help them, I wanted to add references to the most likely search terms for Saturday to help them reach our site:

1. Proper clothing for the rapture.

2. WiFi access in heaven.

3. Justin Bieber’s rapture schedule.

4. Can Obama block final judgment for Bush officials involved in torture program?

5. cheap homes for sale by members of the Family Radio Worldwide ministry.

Good luck, everyone. I will not be with you when the rapture occurs but I assure you that this blog is right with God. At the time of the final judgment, Turley blog regulars will be given preferential treatment and should fear not. If you are still a bit nervous, I recommend playing Captain & Tennille’s Muskrat Love while watching Under Siege 2: Dark Territory . Then, no matter what happens, it won’t seem quite so bad to leave this world behind.


Source: MSNBC

Jonathan Turley

116 thoughts on “Notice: Interruption of Service This Weekend For The End of Times”

  1. Tonight I’m going to hear a buddy of mine and his band play some jazz,like to have my soul chilled out,so I won’t freeze going to my destination.

    Some may need fire retardant gear where they are headed,LOL!!

  5. SL,

    Are you going to have Mexican there…..I always enjoyed the touch of a Hispanic…. adds class…..

  6. Stamford,

    Eh, Corona goes lousy with Mexican food. A good IPA, or Vienna Lager (which are almost all made in Mexico these days) work much better.

  7. Gyges,

    “Corona? Really? HERE’S a list of beers for the end of the world:”

    Thanks for the list – I thought the Corona’s best in keeping with the Mexican feel 😀

  9. Mike,

    Actually, you may be in the clear… http://www.thebricktestament.com/revelation/144000_jews_saved/rv07_01-02.html

    Stamford,

    Corona? Really? HERE’S a list of beers for the end of the world:

    La Fin Du Monde (Unibroue)
    Hades (Great Divide)
    Belzebuth (Brasserie Grain d’ Orge)
    Damnation (Russian River)
    Judgement Day (Lost Abbey)
    Ragnarok Smoked Lager (Elysian)

    And of course, J.W. Lee’s Harvest ale, vintage 2007 aged in port casks, because if you’re going to go out, you should go out drinking the best. Corona’s about as far from the best as you can get.

  10. PatricParametic, LOL, sounds like you plan on being raptured. 🙂 Lotsa’ luck but all things being equal, Stamford Liberals party sounds more fun!

    Sherish Yousef, Crazy stuff always goes on, everywhere and perpetually. Sometimes it’s just crazy stuff and sometimes it’s ugly crazy stuff but it’s a condition of our existence indicative of nothing so grand as a divine prophesy. History is nothing so much as a list of crazy stuff and the crazy-train has no final destination.

    I suggest you buy some chocolate as desert for that Top Ramen and enjoy the mesolimbic dopamine rush gained therefrom. The crazy stuff will be there Sunday. Enjoy Saturday for the harmless day it will be.

  11. Nate:

    He asked for cover in 94 he will ask for it again,on Sunday morning I am sure.

    ” He does not know the exact day because Scripture says “no man knows the day nor the hour” (Matt. 24:36). But according to Camping we can certainly know the month and the year that Christ will return”

  12. I’d have preferred to expire naturally: I was hoping to give my greatest gift on my deathbed, but rapture sounds good too. On the other hand, if that dude is still here monday, I’m wondering whether he’ll blame god, himself, or find something he “missed” and fade into humiliating obscurity.

    Time will tell shortly.

  13. Is it two times a charm?

    Harold Camping: 1994?

    A Summary Critique
    DC995
    Stephen C. Meyers

    In his book 1994? Harold Camping states the end of the world may occur this year, somewhere between September 15-17 (p. 531). He does not know the exact day because Scripture says “no man knows the day nor the hour” (Matt. 24:36). But according to Camping we can certainly know the month and the year that Christ will return.

    The main glue that holds Camping’s book together is numerology: that part of ancient mysticism that endeavors to find hidden truths locked in literal termi­nology through numbers. Mystical num­bers are the keys that allegedly unlock the hidden truths concealed in literal language. The basic theory this system operates on is that God created a perfect world and a perfect word (the Bible) which exhibit precise numerical and symmetrical design.

    http://www.equip.org/articles/harold-camping-1994-

  14. Don’t sweat it. According to Revelations only 144 people are called during the Rapture so you can be safe in assuming it will not be you or anyone you know or have ever heard of. Since this number includes everyone since the beginning of time you can also be sure it will include almost nobody alive today.

    Those people are supposed to be the princes who rule Earth after Christ’s return. For those judged to be worthy your time to live under their direction will come a bit later. IF you are judged unworthy, well, I’m sorry but it is the lake of fire for you.

    I think there is equal chance Earth will be eaten by a mutant star goat.

    1. Just a note that Turley bloggers are also covered for “mutant star goats.” It is part of our web umbrella policy.

  16. Dredd’s “Secret Rupture”

    Otteray Scribe’s “Rapture Forecast”

    Bette Noir’s “Exclusion Zone”

    Elaine M.’s “I’ve got to go pack for the Rapture”

    Buddha Is Laughing’s “No one notices a naked ghost”

    Sherish Yousef’s “I have enough Top Ramen”

    God, I’m going to miss you people.

  17. Lol – Come one, come all! If the world’s going to end tomorrow night, we may as well go out extremely happy!

    It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fiiiiiinnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeee!!

  18. Here on the beautiful shore of Lake Erie, just beyond sight of the glorious cloud rising from Davis-Besse NU-CUE-Lair Power Station, we are moving the start of Cocktail Hour to earlier in the day and extending the program indefinitly. Cheers!

Comments are closed.