Cloudy With A Chance Of Jihad: Ahmadinejad Accuses Europe of “Emptying Clouds”

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad may have been blocked in his effort to become oil minister, but he is still angling for national meteorologist. In a speech this weekend, Ahmadinejad accused Europe of emptying clouds and depriving Iran of rain.

Here is the quoted speech making its way around the Internet:

As you know, clouds move from west to east. They are formed over the ocean, and then move over the Mediterranean, where the air undergoes changes. Then they pass over Iran, moving eastward. The clouds were emptied of most of their content.

As you saw on the news, there was an unusual amount of rainfall and snow in Europe, while [Iran] was dry during the fall. A certain politician, who is not an expert on water or construction, wrote an article, 7 or 8 months ago, about a water crisis in the next 30 years, in which he included a map of the world, with an area that he claimed would be arid, stretching from Turkey to us, and then further east. This is precisely the area that they are afraid of, due to the creation of [our] civilization and culture. These were the arid areas.

I was at a meeting where someone said that there was a water crisis, and that someone had written an article about it. I told him that this guy does not work in this field, and that he is not an expert on water, meteorology, or hydrology. How did he reach this conclusion? We had reports that they are doing this in Europe. They are emptying the clouds, so that they will not move our way.

Then we conducted studies and became convinced that what this gentleman had written was not a scientific forecast. Rather, this is a premeditated event. We will deal with this through legal channels. We will not permit such a disgraceful thing to take place.

It is clear that when rain becomes scarce, more conflicts develop over water in border areas.

The only good thing about this speech is that Ahmadinejad appears to be planning beyond his preparation for the return of the hidden Imam. Of course, he still has to deal with the allegations of consorting with genies in Iran before dealing with the cloud caper.

10 thoughts on “Cloudy With A Chance Of Jihad: Ahmadinejad Accuses Europe of “Emptying Clouds””

  1. I get pleasure from, cause I found exactly what I used to be taking a look
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  2. People are laughing at him now but as global warming and its attendant climate change starts impacting the ability of countries to maintain their crop growth, alters the amount of water in their rivers and watersheds and exacerbates desertification and top-soil loss, weather control is going to be the growth industry. Ahmadinejad may be crazy as a s**thouse rat but his fears will probably become some future national leaders fact.

  3. anon nurse
    1, May 23, 2011 at 9:54 am
    “Everyone knows it’s America’s own HAARP project that controls the weather!” -Buddha\

    You beat me to the punch, Buddha…
    Nooooooo! There used to be an actual sandwich board guy who would walk up and down Michigan Avenue in Chicago displaying his handwritten (nice block letters – very legible) boards, which explained many things, such as the fact that Al Gore is a robot replacement! (This was before the “sexy bearded Al”, so I don’t know if this guy has re-thought his conclusion.)

    But his #1 issue was that the Soviet Union (this was after 1989, so his delusional ideations had become fixed prior) had weather control technology! (Of course, it was the USSR that had replaced Al with a robot under their control…)

    I haven’t seen this guy in years – maybe he’s in Tehran consulting?

  4. I am sure a few folks in the Midwest and Northeast would be happy to give him some clouds with water in em….

  5. This dude is a Republican candidate shoo-in … his talents are wasted on the Iranians.

  6. So who’s to blame for California’s recent, 3-year drought? The Pacific Ocean?

  7. Actually he may be on to something here. Since the US is a major contributor to greenhouse gases and a leader in global climate change which is causing these disruptions in the weather he might not be that wrong in claiming “the West” is “stealing” Iran’s rain.

    Maybe that is the real goal of the wingnuts climate change denial.

    Nah, that would indicate thought and pre-planning, two things the wingnuts appear incapable of.

  8. “Everyone knows it’s America’s own HAARP project that controls the weather!” -Buddha\

    You beat me to the punch, Buddha… 🙂

  9. Is, as Whoppie Goldberg calls him, I’m-a-dinner-jacket really trying to suggest that Europe, not God, has dominion over the clouds? The Grand Ayatollah won’t care much for that kind of talk.

  10. You may not have made Minister of Oil, Imadinnerjacket, but you get my vote for Minister of Out of Your Damn Mind.

    Everyone knows it’s America’s own HAARP project that controls the weather!

    Sheesh! You can’t even keep your conspiracy theories straight! What makes you think your fit to rule? Oh, that’s right . . . you’re out of your damn mind!

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