This impressive male specimen has just been declared the “Best Bartender” in Chicago. He is Jason Turley and he is my nephew and Godson. The only thing that problematic is the name of his signature drink: the Creepy Uncle.
Jason has always been a popular bartender and I am not in the least surprised by the recognition. The article notes that “the best bartenders aren’t necessarily tailor-vested stiff-necked chemists but warm-blooded mammals you’d actually want to drink with.” That would be Jason. He has had a magnetic personality and contagious sense of humor. However, I am contemplating legal action after reading his description of The Creepy Uncle: “PBR, bourbon shot & Awkward Silence . . . $7.”
This could be a matter of libel per quod. (Yes, this is a transparent attempt to make my nephew’s honor a legal question appropriate for posting). I assume that this is a reference to my brother Christopher. Then again it could be a matter of group libel. Given the small size of the group, it may work. One of the leading cases occurred in 1952 in a New York lawsuit. In Neiman-Marcus v. Lait, 13 FRD 311 (SDNY 1952), employees of that high-end story sued the author of a book titled “U.S.A. Confidential.” The book claimed that some of the models at the story and all of the saleswomen in the Dallas store were “call girls.” It further stated that most of the salesmen in the men’s department were “faggots.” The issue came down to the size of the group. With 382 saleswomen and models, the court found that the group was too large. However, with the 25 salesmen, the court found that an action could be maintained.
“Creepy” seems defamatory, though I could face a challenge under mitior sensus.
Turleys have always excelled in combination with alcohol — or at least that is the way we always remember it the next day. Jason’s success, of course, is entirely due to the guidance and influence of his Godfather. So, in many ways, this is really my own recognition.
Congrats Jason . . . now change the name. Why not “Annoying Aunt” or “Creepy Cousin”?
Photograph: Courtesy of Andrea Bauer (Chicago Reader)