Bizarre, Religion, Society

Give [To Wal-Mart] And You Shall Receipt: Couple Rejoices After Jesus Appears On Store Receipt

Jacob Simmons and his fiancée, Gentry Lee Sutherland insist it is a miracle after they bought some pictures at Wal-Mart and found Jesus staring back at them on the receipt. Many people would question whether Jesus would work through Wal-Mart but a bargain is a bargain. Wal-Mart appears to be offering miracle at a low price, undercutting local stores in Anderson County, South Carolina in their own Savior slips.


Notably, Jesus did not appear until a few days later after the receipt had been left on the floor of Sutherland’s apartment.

Sutherland insisted that “[w]e just feel like it’s a blessing that God showed it to us and opened our eyes. And we just feel like we should share the blessing God gave to us to everybody else.”

In one interview, the couple explained that the receipt appeared to answer a question they had just been asked at church: “We had a message on knowing God, abiding in him,” Sutherland said. “(The preacher asked) ‘If you know God, would you recognize him if you saw him?'”

It appears that after throwing out the merchants from the Temple long ago, Jesus decided to visit a Walmart for some discount miracles. Unfortunately, Jesus was immediately fired for appearing at a Walmart without the required blue vest for a greeter.

<< Matthew 21:12
12And Jesus entered the temple and drove out all those who were buying and selling in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who were selling doves. 13And He said to them, “It is written, ‘MY HOUSE SHALL BE CALLED A HOUSE OF PRAYER’; but you are making it a ROBBERS’ DEN.”

Source: KVDR as first seen on Reddit

32 thoughts on “Give [To Wal-Mart] And You Shall Receipt: Couple Rejoices After Jesus Appears On Store Receipt”

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  6. J.I.E.-

    You said, “Jesus wasn’t a blond haired, blue eyed White man”. I’m sorry to have to disagree, but I just opened a box of Eggo Blueberry Waffles and there on the top waffle was the image of the Savior of Mankind. Two beautiful blueberry eyes and a strong chin adorned with a full beard. I will have to admit, however, that the beard is black and appears to be some sort of fungus.

  7. Looks awfully White to have been a man in the Middle East 2000 years ago, do these people STILL not understand that Jesus wasn’t a blond haired, blue eyed White man?

  8. More proof for Freud’s statement that “religion is a mental illness”.
    Somalia is having a famine right now. Couldn’t mr. jesus “appear” with his
    loaves and fishes? Thousands of innocent children will die. mr. jesus can’t
    appear because he is imaginary.
    Religion is trickery, superstition, and shame. It was created to control you.
    Teach ethics instead. Grow up.

  10. Maybe we have discovered the root problem for all the world’s trouble. The Great Cosmic Muffin is so busy performing cheap magic tricks like materializing on taco shells, underpass stains, tree bark and Wally-World receipts while also ensuring that your damn sports team beats that other one, overseeing military operations against all the heathens and talking at least 5 Republicans into running for President of the US(by those clowns own admission – apparently He is covering His bases times 5) that He has failed to notice that people are really suffering down here and could actually use divine intervention on matters that actually count.

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