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Method Of Modern Love: Twitter-Style

Submitted by Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

The Happy Couple: Farthing For Your Thoughts Mrs. Puddick?

London plumber, Ian Puddick, was aghast after reading a text message on his wife’s cell phone. It seems  Leena, was having an affair with Tim Haynes, an insurance broker at one of London’s hoary financial houses and a City Director. The affair began at a company Christmas Party (don’t they all) and continued for ten years.   Rather than an immediate face-to-face confrontation with all the messiness that involves, Puddick set up several websites and then began to Twitter the racy cyber-dialog between the illicit lovers. One read, “Where do you want to have sex next? The office, al fresco, the flat or all three you greedy girl?”  He supplemented the shorthand with videos and a blog– all dedicated to the affair.

The morally questionable Mr. Haynes was not amused and pressed charges alleging that Twittering wasn’t the half of it. Puddick, Haynes claimed, also contacted clients, employers, neighbors, and colleagues inviting them in on the fun.  The electronic barrage was so bad that Haynes was forced to give up his job.  Using company funds to finance some of the rendezvous  might have contributed too, Haynes conceded.

Following a three-day trial in the Westminster Magistrate’s Court, true love triumphed and Puddick was exonerated. District Judge Elizabeth Roscoe ruled the defendant’s actions did not form a “course of conduct” and dismissed the charges. Puddick was elated.  ” A victory for free speech and the small man,” he crowed. It’s a little unclear what the second adjectival phrase refers to, but regardless, Puddick was a free man.

As students of human nature probably guessed, Leena returned to her cyber-white knight. To complete the love story, Haynes’ wife returned to him, too.

The End.

Source: The Guardian

~Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

26 thoughts on “Method Of Modern Love: Twitter-Style”

  2. Loved the story. I’ve always felt that revenge, if it is to be taken, should be no more than the offense itself. This meets my standards and was a lovely petard hoist. As to the future of the relationship one can never speculate about what happens:

  5. mespo,

    You have to give this guy points for style…I do not know or wish to know what the quality of life was at the home fronts…but it does not appear that anyone was arrested for murder, or battery….etc…In my opinion he did it with style….

  9. Yikes! Great story Mark! I just don’t get how these guys could get back together again! I think there will be some further “action” down the road!

  12. “Oh what a tangled web we weave,
    When first we practise to deceive!”

    What a better web we weave,
    After we’ve practised to deceive.

  14. “The name does me remind of something Groucho Marx once said about Peter O’Toole having a double phallic name.”
    *****************************
    Thank you, Gene. I was hoping someone would notice that coupled with Puddick’s ejaculatory response after winning his case.

  16. AY,

    The name does me remind of something Groucho Marx once said about Peter O’Toole having a double phallic name.

  17. I smirked….when I read this…ah revenge…And the name is kinda funny as well….

  18. There are some things that should remain private….this type of situation is an example!

  19. Ah, yes. Another fairy tale romance… All’s well that ends well… or something like that.

  20. He may have been Scottish, but surely the words of Sir Walter Scott apply.

    “Oh what a tangled web we weave,
    When first we practise to deceive!”

    Those zany Brits.

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