Florida Woman Gives New Meaning To The “Good Book”

Submitted by Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

42-year-old Tonya Sutton  isn’t one to wear religion on her sleeve — more like in her hands. Toting a Bible in one hand and an open Colt .45 malt liquor in the other, the Fort Pierce native was stopped by police for violating Florida’s open container law. When police cracked open the Good Book, and much to their surprise, they found a hollowed out section for Ms. Sutton’s crack pipe – allegedly, of course. Police arrested Ms. Sutton on alcohol and drug paraphernalia charges.

Not sure if Sutton got the idea from the 1968 Robert Mitchum film, Five Card Stud, where his character, Rev. Rudd, kept his firearm in a carved-out Bible, or from “Andy” in The Shawshank Redemption, who did the  same for his rock pick, but either way it’s ironically delicious.

This may also help explain why one in three Americans enthusiastically takes the Bible as literally true. After all, Karl Marx did call religion the “opiate of the masses.”  Who knew that old German had a funny streak in him? In any event, it seems  Bible pushers have a new marketing gimmick for their product.  As every kid knows, a prize in the box always boosts sales.

Source: UPI

~Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

14 thoughts on “Florida Woman Gives New Meaning To The “Good Book””

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  3. G’Day! Jonathanturley,
    In addition to your post I was wondering, The briefness of existence is one of the founding truths in Buddhism, and the expected time for existence influences highly to the choices we make every day. In ethics, the influence of mortality can be perceived in that we do not want to cause unnecessary harm to another life form or we can simply state that you do not have time for the miseries that follow unethical conduct of actions.

  4. Why don’t people use Darwin’s Origin of Species to do that?

    After all, they could say the pipe is a scientific device.

  5. To quote George Bernard Shaw:

    No public man believes that the Bible means what it says: he is always convinced that it says what he means.

    Thus our Colt .45 malt liquor imbiber was simply following the dictates of Proverbs 31:6 as she is certain of the meaning:

    “Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish.”

    Along with her meaning of Acts 2:19:

    I will work miracles in the sky and give signs on the earth: blood, fire, and clouds of smoke.

    At least I know a good Christian when I see one.

  6. She also may have gotten the idea from the 1970’s movie Buck and the Preacher with Sidney Pointier and Harry Belafonte. Belafonte played a preacher who kept his “faith in the good book.” His faith was a high caliber pistol. Contrary to Preacher, it looks like her faith done run out.

  7. Back in the day when I use to ride Motorcycles,Bikers from the area would gather at different churches to have our bikes blessed,maybe the pipe in the bible is a new take on that blessing.

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