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Sarcasm and the Vagina Vigilantes…or Who’s Funny Now?: Yucking It Up in the Battle of the Sexes

Submitted by Elaine Magliaro, Guest Blogger

Back in 2007, Christopher Hitchens penned an article for Vanity Fair titled Why Women Aren’t Funny. In it he wrote:

Men are overawed, not to say terrified, by the ability of women to produce babies. (Asked by a lady intellectual to summarize the differences between the sexes, another bishop responded, “Madam, I cannot conceive.”) It gives women an unchallengeable authority. And one of the earliest origins of humor that we know about is its role in the mockery of authority. Irony itself has been called “the glory of slaves.” So you could argue that when men get together to be funny and do not expect women to be there, or in on the joke, they are really playing truant and implicitly conceding who is really the boss…

If I am correct about this, which I am, then the explanation for the superior funniness of men is much the same as for the inferior funniness of women. Men have to pretend, to themselves as well as to women, that they are not the servants and supplicants. Women, cunning minxes that they are, have to affect not to be the potentates.

So—according to Hitchens—women are really “the bosses” because they are the baby makers. Men are the funny ones because they mock the authority of women who have wombs…and, therefore, the power! Who knew?

I get it. I think this explains why so many men in the GOP these days are proposing reproductive legislation.  These male vagina vigilantes—“uterati” is what I call them—must believe that their extreme legislation will give them (the funny guys) authority over women (the humorless baby makers). They’re trying to gain authority over the opposite sex by taking control of contraception…and women’s bodies.

The uterati’s strategy seems to be working because women have been getting their “funny” on lately. They are using social media and sarcasm in order to get their point across that they will not stand by humorlessly while proposed legislation that could have a negative impact on their lives is being discussed and voted upon.  That must mean that women will soon be seen as the supplicants and servants—at least according to the Christopher Hitchens equations:

funny people =  supplicants and servants

unfunny people = authority figures

Unfortunately, the vagina vigilantes just don’t seem to find much humor in what these women are doing.

So…let’s take a look at some some of the sarcastic things that women are doing, shall we? You can let me know if you think they’re funny.

In Mockery: Women’s new weapon, an article that appeared in Salon, Tracy Clark-Flory wrote:

From a proposed sex strike to mock legislation restricting access to Viagra, women are coming up with increasingly creative ways to respond to attacks on reproductive rights. Many of them are relying on something ladies are often said to be without: a sense of humor.

In case you didn’t catch on, the sex strike is tongue-in-cheek. Annette Maxberry-Carrara, founder of Liberal Ladies Who Lunch — the group that proposed the “Access Denied” protest — tells me with a laugh, “We’re not looking at it as a literal strike.” But they are making a serious political statement. The event’s tagline reads, “If our reproductive choices are denied, so are yours.”

Here are some examples of the mock legislation being proposed by women–and some men who respect women (God love them!)——courtesy of ThinkProgress:

EVERY SPERM HAS A RIGHT (OKLAHOMA): To poke fun at a “personhood” bill that gives full rights to a zygote, state Sen. Constance Johnson (D) introduced an amendment that would also declare every sperm to be sacred. “However, any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child,” her amendment stated.

NOTE: Senator Judy Eason of Tulsa, Oklahoma, attended a protest of the state’s extreme “Personhood” bill at the State Capitol recently. She borrowed a sign from another poster that read: “If I wanted the government in my womb I’d fuck a senator.” (Freak Out Nation)

CHILDREN DENIED BIRTH BECAUSE OF VASECTOMIES (GEORGIA): State Rep. Yasmin Neal (D) introduced legislation that would limit vasectomies. “Thousands of children are deprived of birth in this state every year because of the lack of state regulation over vasectomies,” Neal explained. Her measure is in response to a bill that would ban abortions after 20 weeks on the grounds that a fetus can feel pain — a claim disputed by doctors.

MORE HOOPS TO CLEAR FOR VIAGRA (OHIO): In response to Ohio’s so-called Heartbeat Bill, which would prevent abortions once a fetal heartbeat is detected, state Sen. Nina Turner (D) will introduce a bill that would make men jump through hoops, like a psychological screening, before they could obtain Viagra and similar drugs for erectile dysfunction. “All across the country, including in Ohio, I thought since men are certainly paying great attention to women’s health that we should definitely return the favor,” Turner said.

Note: A man would also have to get a notarized affidavit that was signed by his sexual partner affirming his impotency.

RECTAL EXAMS FOR A VIAGRA PRESCRIPTIONS (VIRGINIA): To protest Virginia’s bill requiring women to receive an ultrasound before an abortion, state Sen. Janet Howell (D) attached an amendment to the bill that would have required men to receive a rectal exam and pass a cardiac stress test before doctors wrote them a prescription for erectile dysfunction medication. “We need some gender equity here,” Howell said. The Virginia Senate rejected her amendment, but both chambers passed the ultrasound requirement after clarifying that women would not be forced to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound.

KNOW THE SIDE EFFECTS OF VIAGRA (ILLINOIS): State Rep. Kelly Cassidy (D) decided to push back against GOP attacks on women’s health by offering an amendment that would require men to watch a “horrific video” about the side effects of Viagra before they received a prescription for the drug. His bill is in response to a measure requiring women to undergo an ultrasound before an abortion. “If we are going to do this, we need to do it in a way that is applied equally,” Cassidy said.

PROTECT ALL SPERM (DELAWARE): Mocking the “personhood” measures, the town council in Wilmington, Delaware approved a satirical resolution “that asks state legislatures and U.S. Congress to enact laws that forbid men from destroying their semen.” The resolution notes that if lawmakers think a female egg has full rights, then they should say the same thing about sperm.

Women have also taken to leaving sarcastic comments on their governors’ Facebook pages. It was reported in The L Magazine that women had begun “wall bombing” and “sarcasm bombing”  the pages of politicians who were attempting to “roll back women’s rights.”

Written to Gov. Bob McDonnell of Virginia

Dear Doctor Governor-I have an issue with my vagina. I’m having a terrible flow and cramping. This happens every month. I’m not sure if it is related to the lack of an ultrasound or the lack of a pill (I know one is mandated but my poor addled lady brain can’t wrap my head around this issue). I’m guessing that it may be the ultrasound since I heard the men folk on the teevee telling us that contraception and the like is one step from abortion. What do I do Dr. Gov? Should I come to your office for the exam?

Written to Gov. Tom Corbett of Pennsylvania

I know this has nothing to do with this, but being a woman and all, I can’t stop thinking about my lady parts. You suggested women close their eyes when getting a transvaginal ultrasound, or Wand of Light, as we lovingly call it in some places. Do you also close your eyes when getting a mandatory anal probe for unrelated legal medical procedures? What else do you close your eyes for? I’m curious, your advice is so fascinating!

Written to Gov. Sam Brownback of Tennessee

I just called your office, and they wouldn’t let me schedule a pap smear. I’m confused, aren’t you taking care of all this now?

And

Governor, maybe you can help me. I have a funny rash on my labia. If I send you a photo, can you tell me what it is? I’m asking you because you seem to be an expert on women’s health, and I know I can’t be trusted to know anything about my own body. I’m just a woman, no better than livestock. It says so in the Bible…

 Written to Gov. Rick Perry of Texas

I promise to vote for you during the next run if you’ll allow me to incorporate my uterus.

Another tactic being proposed by a group called Government Free VJJ is the “Snatchel Project.” Government Free VJJ is encouraging women to knit uteruses and send them to male members of Congress. One of the group’s slogans is “If they have their own, they can leave ours alone!”

I’m a woman. I think this is all quite hilarious. How about you? Who do you think are the potentates now? Which do you think is the funnier sex?

SOURCES & FURTHER READING

Mockery: Women’s new weapon (Salon)

Why Women Aren’t Funny (Vanity Fair)

As Anti-Abortion Bills Gain Steam, Legislators Push Back With Legislation Mocking The Extreme Bills (Think Progress)

Women Knit Uteruses For Lawmakers (Think Progress)

Georgia Republican Compares Women to Cows, Pigs, And Chickens (Think Progress)

‘Dear Doctor Governor … ‘: Women Protest On GOP Govs’ Facebook Walls (TPMDC)

4 Ways To Combat the GOP’s War On Women (The L Magazine)

The 10 Most Ridiculous Things Old White Men Have Proposed About Women And Vaginas (The L Magazine)

10 Reasons The Rest Of The World Thinks The U.S. Is Nuts (Huffington Post)

Nursing Chastity (Bangor Daily News)

Sen. McIntyre holds a sign at protest: ‘If I wanted the govt in my womb I’d fuck a Senator’ (Freak Out Nation)

129 thoughts on “Sarcasm and the Vagina Vigilantes…or Who’s Funny Now?: Yucking It Up in the Battle of the Sexes”

  5. The pro-choice reawakening
    A new rise in anger at attacks on reproductive freedom
    BY IRIN CARMON
    3/6/12
    http://www.salon.com/2012/03/06/the_pro_choice_reawakening/

    Excerpt;
    Monday, at around the same time that the Democratic National Committee launched Stand With Sandra, to fundraise over the loathsome attacks on the reproductive rights activist Sandra Fluke, images of police in riot gear arresting peaceful protesters of Virginia’s mandatory ultrasound law were spreading on Facebook. “Never dreamed I’d be protesting for women’s rights in 2012 in Virginia,” read one sign.

    Not everyone was surprised. The activists who have for years protested online, in person or in the courts – when women were attacked with fierce misogyny simply for existing in public, when women’s healthcare was stigmatized and subject to punishing double standards, or, for that matter, when seven states passed mandatory ultrasound laws – had another sign to represent them: ”I cannot believe I still have to protest this shit.” But this time, they weren’t drowned out, they were joined with fierce, spontaneous energy. As my colleague Mary Elizabeth Williams put it, though she worries about her daughters facing a “harder and meaner” world for women than the one she grew up in, “I haven’t felt this strong a sense of ‘We are not helpless and this is not OK’ in a long time.”

    That sense is evident not just because the attacks on women’s reproductive rights and bodily integrity have intensified, although by every metric they have. It’s also because of the growing realization that these aren’t isolated incidents, but rather systematic attacks based on a worldview that is actively hostile to female self-determination. And that realization is changing the game, even if that game is still made up of moved goal posts and partial victories.

  7. Mock bills threatening men’s rights offer comic relief – and perspective
    http://current.com/shows/the-war-room/videos/mock-bills-threatening-mens-rights-offer-comic-relief-and-perspective

    Excerpt:
    Jennifer Granholm and Tracy Clark-Flory, staff writer at Salon.com, review how satire fueled by outrage over the latest wave of bills threatening women’s rights is raising awareness, along with inspiring mock bills that poke fun at the absurdities in extreme anti-abortion bills and other women-targeted measures. Counter legislation ranges from declaring every sperm “sacred,” bills limiting vasectomies and more. Clark-Flory salutes female lawmakers pushing these mock bills: “They’re being courageous. They’re being bold and they have a tremendous sense of humor.”

  9. The Republican party declares war on women
    The more Republican candidates pitch for social conservative votes, the more we see the misogyny of America’s religious right
    Diane Roberts
    3/5/12
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2012/mar/05/republican-party-declares-war-on-women

    Excerpt:
    Republicans and their Tea Party shock troops say they want to “take America back”. Progressives think they mean back to the 1950s, back to when men were men, women were ladies, and black folks only got into the White House by the back door. But Republicans are thinking big: they actually want to take us back to the Middle Ages, back to the “good old days” of sexual repression, regulation and punishment.

    Forget the economy: this election is becoming a referendum on women’s bodies, since it’s women (according to the Republicans’ Book of Holy Misogyny) who like to have sex without wanting to get pregnant, and, if they do get pregnant, might want to have an abortion; women who demand, as former Senator Rick Santorum says, a “license to do things in the sexual realm that is [sic] counter to how things are supposed to be.”

    You know, “sluts”.

    Republicans in Congress have launched a dubious investigation of Planned Parenthood, the century-old women’s health organization, and tried to take away its funding. The Senate narrowly defeated an amendment that would have allowed employers to deny insurance coverage for anything the employer found morally or religiously objectionable: contraception, certainly, but perhaps also lung cancer treatment (“you should have stopped smoking”), HIV/Aids testing (“homosexuality is an abomination”), and pre-natal care for single women (“nice girls get themselves a husband before they get themselves a baby”).

  12. Did You Tell Your Boss Why You’re On The Pill?
    By Annie-Rose Strasser on Mar 15, 2012
    http://thinkprogress.org/progress-report/did-you-tell-your-boss-why-youre-on-the-pill/

    Excerpt:
    The conservative war on women shows no signs of abating. The last few weeks have given rise to half a dozen bills that try to limit or eliminate a woman’s access to reproductive health care. Just this week, Arizona took up a bill that ups the ante: It would require women to prove to their employer that they are not using contraceptives to avoid getting pregnant. This piece of legislation gets dangerously close to requiring women to tell their employers whether they are sexually active. This bill seems like a particularly large piece of artillery in the war on women — infantilizing to say the least, it means that women would essentially need to turn in a note from a supervising adult before they are allowed to take care of their own health. There are a number of reasons at the individual level that show why birth control should be covered, in addition to the fact that contraceptives helped to shrink the gender pay gap and improve the economy. In fact, the entire debate over how the government should handle women’s health is manufactured. But the battle was on the horizon since the beginning of the year, and now it has arrived.

    WHAT ARIZONA’S MEASURE MEANS: The language of the bill stipulates that a woman would have to show her medical records to her employer in order to even be considered for contraceptive coverage. If a woman were using the pill for one of its intended purposes, an employer could choose to stop insuring her, citing “moral objections,” and the woman would have to pay out of pocket for her contraceptive expenses. If an employer finds that the woman has a medical reason to be taking contraceptives (this means the employer would learn of the woman’s ovarian cysts, early menopause, or any number of other medical issues), he can choose to insure her. But if the findings aren’t to his liking, the woman can be dropped. On top of that, Arizona is an at-will employment state, meaning that a boss could possibly fire a woman for denying access to her personal medical history, or if he found something in her records that he did not like. A female legislator, Majority Whip Debbie Lesko, wrote the proposed bill. It was endorsed by Arizona’s Senate Judiciary Committee Monday by a vote of 6-2, and passed by the Arizona House of Representatives.

  14. The War on Women Political Humor
    http://motleynews.net/2012/03/15/the-war-on-women-political-humor/

    Excerpt:
    With all the recent news of the insanity spreading like a viral disease throughout our country, the War on Women has begun. I have always seen and believed that there are some rather ignorant people in both of our parties, but this year is much different. The Republican Party wins hands down. Bills are erupting all over the country, states ticking off one-by-one with their own bill which in some manner violates women’s rights.

    Our warning to all the Republican fools out there who are definitely barking up the wrong tree, remember this:

    Women bring all politicians into the world. In 2012, women can also take them out.

    *****

    Check out the political cartoons at the link provided above.

  15. Opinion: The Brilliant Way Women Lawmakers Are Winning the War on Contraception
    Monday, March 05, 2012
    By JUSTIN KREBS
    http://www.wnyc.org/blogs/its-free-blog/2012/mar/05/opinion-laughter-legislation-and-war-women/

    Excerpt:
    Rebuffing the ongoing crusade against women’s health and women’s rights requires a range of tactics. There need to be protests, such as members of Congress walking out on an all-male panel on contraception. There need to be petitions, as exemplified by the work of the new netroots organization Ultra Violet, which has gathered a hundred thousand supporters calling on companies to suspend advertising on Rush Limbaugh’s show.

    And there needs to be…comedy?

    Laughter might not be the obvious reaction in response to a range of rabid right-wing assaults, but legislators—often female—are using it with increasing effectiveness as they push back with a mixture of humor and humiliation.

    In Virginia, a State Senator countered the state’s proposal to require transvaginal ultrasounds for women seeking to end a pregnancy by suggesting rectal exams for men who want Viagara.

    In Oklahoma, a State Senator responded to the state’s “personhood bill,” by proposing than men be required to only ejaculate into vaginas lest they harm the children that could have resulted from their wasted sperm.

    In Georgia, a State Legislator offered an amendment to an anti-choice legislation that would deny vasectomies to men.

    And in Ohio, a State Senator crafted the beautifully framed “Legislation to Protect Men’s Health” that would impede their ability to receive erectile dysfunction treatment.

    Now, Rick Santorum—and many of the male legislators behind the anti-health proposals—might blush at hearing words like “vagina” said so unambiguously. And it would probably be fun watching them stumble over such language in debate. But other than the amusement factor, does this approach serve a purpose? Or does it take too lightly an issue that is no laughing matter?

    The fact is that this approach is brilliant, not as the only line of defense, but as part of a multi-faceted campaign to push the importance of rights, equality, and access to healthcare.

    For one, these bills do an excellent job of reductio ad absurdum, the process of disproving a point by following its argument to a ridiculous extreme. In these cases, the extreme lengths of the conservative contentions are not only untenable, but patently hypocritical and gender-biased. The laughing legislation actually makes for good arguments.

    Secondly, they play an important role in the larger awareness campaign by getting the public to focus on these issues. These counter-measures are cutting through the cluttered landscape of news and politics and capturing the attention of an often-distracted public. Finding an effective vehicle for your message is as important as the message itself.

    Thirdly, these steps do cross from mimicry into mockery in an important and effective way. They aren’t just light laughs that make you chuckle before you move on. They are targeted attacks at the sponsors of the original bills—men who now are forced to answer uncomfortable questions about their stances on rectal exams and erection counseling. Just as an advertiser dumps a show to avoid potential embarrassment or a candidate distances themselves from a surrogate out of shame, mockery can force a legislator to back down.

  16. Blouise, I think the only thing that is keeping them in the hunt are high gas prices.

  17. In all seriousness, and I understand that a tipping point is best seen with the 20/20 vision of hindsight, but I seriously wonder if we actually hit that tipping point with the Komen incident and the Republicans are on a downhill slide that has gained a momentum they will not be able to stop. Time will tell.

  18. Bron: “why do Greece and Portugal need to be bailed out? From what I can see it is the same old problem – Socialism”
    —-

    For the same reason the entire western banking industry had to be bailed out. Fiscal corruption by the largest banks in the world. That some countries had more of their wealth looted and no sugar daddies or re-growth potential was just the way it worked out, some countries were on shakier ground to begin with, like Greece so they fell farther than others. Also, a big chunk of the US bailout money went to foreign banks to shore them up and those banks didn’t do anything to repair any of the damage to some of the at-risk countries that they were looting.

  19. lottakatz:

    why do Greece and Portugal need to be bailed out? From what I can see it is the same old problem – Socialism is a great idea on paper but it doesnt work in reality.

    People need to be involved in the means of production, I think they should own shares in it. If you work for a company they ought to give you stock in the company to match what you have bought. The best would be for a company to be wholly employee owned.

  20. lottakatz:

    our health care premium is around $1,200 per month. I would gladly pay $350 dollars more to keep it private and I am pretty sure many people would think the same way.

    I know it has problems and puzzling has written about them elsewhere on this blog. I think the remedy is in more competition and less regulation.

    There are many ways to get costs under control. One would be to make people pay out of pocket for routine visits to the doctor. If the doctor knew insurance was not going to provide any money for a sick visit, I am betting the price would be around $50. I drug companies knew they were not going to be getting insurance money for typical drugs they would be less expensive.

    You could also give people money back on their policy costs if they kept costs to a minimum. You dont need to run to the doctor for every fever or ache and pain you have. Wait 3 days and see if it goes away and then go. Allow alternative medicine to be covered. Increase the number of doctors graduating from medical school. There are any number of measures which could be taken to reduce health care costs without having a single payer.

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