Squirrels Join Occupy Movement

Homeland Security is closely monitoring the increase in squirrel anarchists in occupy movements across the country. Some have been seen taunting authority, as here.

The worse anarchist squirrels have been seen with signs reading “We’re rodents but we’re not rats!” and ‘Wall Street is just Nuts . . . and we know nuts!”

Police report that efforts to try to speak with the squirrels led to a staring contest with the tiny protesters who just munching on nuts while glaring defiantly at officers.

22 thoughts on “Squirrels Join Occupy Movement”

  1. One time I was living in a basement apartment in DC. There was one window to the street and there was an air conditioner unit in it. I was working on a case where a Colonel in the Army (Fort Benning, GA) was accused by the CID of abusing his children, but the CO would not allow him to be prosecuted, so the Army arranged for him to get the children and take them down to the base, in violation of an Indiana Civil Court’s custody order, and he kept them there and wouldn’t let them out. We started to harass some guys at the Pentagon and we got some publicity. Then we started to get some “negative attention” from folks in the Army and even the DOD. At one point, I was down there working on a document we were going to give to the General in charge of human services for the Army at that time (General Jones) and a maddened squirrel, I am not kidding, attacked the outside of the air conditioner as well as that kind of folded-up sliding part that makes the unit fit into the window and keeps the hot air outside. I was just kind of paralyzed; WTF?

    My colleague, working with me on the document (it must have been past 11 pm at the time) looked up and commented wryly: “It’s an Army Attack Squirrel.”

    We hollered and screamed (shrilly) and banged on pots and pans with wooden spoons and yelled “SQUIRRELS GO HOME” and eventually scared him off. As he left, I could see his little tiny camouflage trousers…

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