WYWH XOXO: Bovine Sextexting Hits Switzerland

The scourge of sex texting has continued to spread. This week, Swiss scientists announced that dairy cows will now text farmers to tell them when they are in heat. Sensors have been implanted in cows to detect and report shifts in heat and will then send text messages in German, French or Italian as well as English or Spanish. The Jersey cows tend to be the most crude. I believe the message reads simply “I’m horny.”

The heat detectors are attempts to deal with a growing problem in the Swiss dairy industry where cows “feel pressured to produce greater quantities of milk are reportedly less frequently in heat than ever before.” It is the classic case of work overwhelming personal relationships. The result is that 80 percent of cow impregnations are now done by artificial insemination rather than the old days when a bull would ask a cow to tie on a feedbag, take in a moooovie, and then check out his collection of hair balls by the tool shed.

Now the farmers will receive a text like a cow called a 1-900 number and a bull will be delivered like a call girlbull. I suggest 1-900-wild-cow or 1-900-beef-luv.

Bovine sextexting could be a breakthrough for the normally restrained Swiss. Swiss cows still remain quite proper in their personal relations as opposed to those pornography watching pandas:

Source: CBS

28 thoughts on “WYWH XOXO: Bovine Sextexting Hits Switzerland”

  1. I did not look at Matt’ video. My stomach is weak when it comes to reptiles, and courting is over my age limit.
    I seem to be pre-pubertal now.

    As for kowtowed, who knows. They say that prostration is good for the soul, and saved many a head
    G’night all.

  2. Matt,

    You are so damn smart, or I am so damn dumb.

    I thought the bell was bling-bling signalling that she was hot and ready to go. Besides why torture an old bull. He really looked frustrated and depressed at the end. Had he serviced 6 cows before her, or was she looking for her sixth service of the day? Such dilemmas.

  3. idealist707 1, October 3, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    pete9999′s girlfriend left me speechless.

    Well, here goes. the bull getting those kisses was too old for her. Or he had forgotten his Viagra. Or he should be retired. “Meat wagon!”

    Maybe the Swiss cow was picking on the bull earlier. The cow is wearing the bell, that means she’s boss cow.

  4. nick,

    Fortunately I won’t have a lot of the drooling and babbling to go through. Genetically I favor my father’s side of the family and they to a one are sharp as razors until right near the very end (usually last 6 mos. or so). They also tend to live into their 80’s and 90’s. I got lucky on that one.

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