The scourge of sex texting has continued to spread. This week, Swiss scientists announced that dairy cows will now text farmers to tell them when they are in heat. Sensors have been implanted in cows to detect and report shifts in heat and will then send text messages in German, French or Italian as well as English or Spanish. The Jersey cows tend to be the most crude. I believe the message reads simply “I’m horny.”
The heat detectors are attempts to deal with a growing problem in the Swiss dairy industry where cows “feel pressured to produce greater quantities of milk are reportedly less frequently in heat than ever before.” It is the classic case of work overwhelming personal relationships. The result is that 80 percent of cow impregnations are now done by artificial insemination rather than the old days when a bull would ask a cow to tie on a feedbag, take in a moooovie, and then check out his collection of hair balls by the tool shed.
Now the farmers will receive a text like a cow called a 1-900 number and a bull will be delivered like a call girlbull. I suggest 1-900-wild-cow or 1-900-beef-luv.
Bovine sextexting could be a breakthrough for the normally restrained Swiss. Swiss cows still remain quite proper in their personal relations as opposed to those pornography watching pandas:
Source: CBS
Gene, I know exactly what you’re saying. I wish I could defrag my brain of some music lyrics[Green Eyed Lady comes to mind] and sports trivia. When we’re incontinent, drooling and babbling we’ll spout out these factoids to our caregivers. They’ll smile and say under their breath, “What the f@ck is he talking about?.”
Darren Smith
1, October 3, 2012 at 5:21 pm
Jersey Cow in Heat…
…… This is a video one could use to train children. …..
—————————————————–
no child should be exposed to that drecht.
but th dancing cow??? that was kinda cute….the colors….it was the colors…..
Stood in the subway, looking over the shoulder of a connected young woman. She was checking her Twitter(?) contacts, texting, and checking a particular guy on the map to see where he was just now.
Feel old? We are. It was an Iphone of course. On the subway, underground, always connected. I came home and checked in here. Wow! I’m modern.
BTW, always on-line? It’s not hype. The latest net connection techniques and the latest models allows your “tracker” to be sleeping and to wake up if anything comes over the net for you. No bandwidth lost to the IPS, no load on your battery.
Sarah says you have a message. Fine Sarah. Say what happened to Hal?
All true! I’ll bet we’ll have inoperated units, biologically driven with neural connections. When? Guess.
Darren,
You are so sweet. Most are going that way now.
Your pops morals went out with the p-pill and viagra, with a little assistance of estasy, and the sellers of sh!t to young people.
Jersey Cow in Heat…
What a nasty, revolting person. This is a video one could use to train children. For boys, the lesson would be the type of girl to avoid. For Girls, the opposite of what to become in life.
Gene refers to her as a “multicultural embarrassment.” I think it is much broader. Slugs and leeches have better ettiquette than she.
Snooki says:
I’ll do anything for money, sex, drugs, clothes, you name it as long as it is a thrill.
A girl is such a short blooming flower. Don’t misgrudge her her orgies of all kinds.
Sexy Cow Dance
One of the bad things about having a memory like I do is I pick up a lot of information I don’t want and didn’t want in the first place.
Such as Snooki is not of Italian ancestory, but Chilean. Her adoptive parents are/were Italian-American. So I guess you could call her a multicultural embarrassment.
I sincerely wish those neurons were occupied by damn near anything else.
Snooki is the Step n’ Fetchit for Italians.
pete9999’s girlfriend left me speechless.
Well, here goes. the bull getting those kisses was too old for her. Or he had forgotten his Viagra. Or he should be retired. “Meat wagon!”
jersey cow in heat
I believe the message reads simply “I am so horny.”
I wonder if the equivalent technology for sheep bleets out “Me so horny. Me love ewe long time.”?
The farmers are befuddled by this Anthony Weiner guy who keeps texting photos.
Let’s hope those text messages don’t get rerouted to Washington, the ground zero of Zoophilia (a.k.a. “bestiality”).
Not just helping them over the fence…..
this is nothing but a tool to improve calf production.
Ranchers in late 19th century texas would have loved something like this.
Unfortunately, this seems to be a reflection on what our society has become . . .
Kinda takes the romance out of it. In the old days, they just waited until the Earth mooved udder their feet, er, hooves.
not a bad idea, especially if your cows are out to pasture.