Having finally made it home and reunited with my children after being stranded in New Orleans, it was a shock to learn that Sandy was not a natural disaster but, according to various Syrians, a vehicle of Islamic justice sent by their special forces with the help of the Iranians. Getting stuck in the blizzard in the mountains with Leslie in our rented jeep, I should have seen the hand of the Bashar al-Assad given the wanton destruction caused by the storm. Yet, somehow I like this better than Hurricane Katrina being sent by God to punish us for homosexuality or earthquakes sent to punish “pacts with the Devil,” according to Pat Robertson.
In Syria, the view that Sandy was a Syrian special op is the rage on the Internet with pro-government activists. One pro-government group (News Network of the Syrian Armed Forces) declared “Sources confirmed to us that Hurricane Sandy that is slamming the U.S. was set off by highly advanced technologies developed by the heroic Iranian regime that supports the resistance, with coordination of our resistive Syrian regime.” Now I wonder who those sources might be?
The group went on to explain “This is the punishment for whoever dares to attack Syria’s (Bashar) al-Assad and threaten peace and stability.” That might tick off Cuba, which has supported Syria and Iran but was left decimated by its Iranian-engineered hurricane.
Regime supporters however expressed disbelief that some would doubt the obvious special op: “Why are you surprised by such a heroic act that our special forces carried out with the help of the Iranian experts? Yes this is the great work of the brave lions of Syria in retaliation to the evil conspiracy against our great nation. We will have our victory even if it will take some time.”
I actually heard that the original design for Sharia Sandy was to actually throw off lions. Now that would really freak people out. I do find it interesting that Robertson believes hurricanes are just sent by God automatically as punishment but the Syrians had to turn to the Iranians to manufacture a hurricane hit.
Leslie and I were able to take shelter (no thanks to the Syrians apparently) in a no-tell motel on the side of I-81. We tried to beat the blizzard to get to our kids after driving from New Orleans. (They turned out fine with electricity and our wonderful sitter and her husband at our house). We slammed right into the bizarre hurricane generated blizzard. Visibility went to zero and we were barely able to get off the road. However, we were able to push on in the morning and make it home. We did not even have to crack into our survival kit of Moon Pies bought in Alabama (large boxes of Moon Pies are hard to find in McLean). It was quite an adventure but 1100 miles later, we made it as the storm was still dissipating.
To Assad, I will only say this: your hurricane came and went. However, we remain standing tall and defiant with a Moon Pie in one hand and a Big Gulp in the other. This is America, Buddy. We have shown over and over again that, with sufficient refined sugar and caffeine, we can stand up to anything.