Sandy Goes Sharia: Syrians Claim Storm Was Engineered By Iranians and Sent To U.S. By Syrian Special Forces

Having finally made it home and reunited with my children after being stranded in New Orleans, it was a shock to learn that Sandy was not a natural disaster but, according to various Syrians, a vehicle of Islamic justice sent by their special forces with the help of the Iranians. Getting stuck in the blizzard in the mountains with Leslie in our rented jeep, I should have seen the hand of the Bashar al-Assad given the wanton destruction caused by the storm. Yet, somehow I like this better than Hurricane Katrina being sent by God to punish us for homosexuality or earthquakes sent to punish “pacts with the Devil,” according to Pat Robertson.

In Syria, the view that Sandy was a Syrian special op is the rage on the Internet with pro-government activists. One pro-government group (News Network of the Syrian Armed Forces) declared “Sources confirmed to us that Hurricane Sandy that is slamming the U.S. was set off by highly advanced technologies developed by the heroic Iranian regime that supports the resistance, with coordination of our resistive Syrian regime.” Now I wonder who those sources might be?

The group went on to explain “This is the punishment for whoever dares to attack Syria’s (Bashar) al-Assad and threaten peace and stability.” That might tick off Cuba, which has supported Syria and Iran but was left decimated by its Iranian-engineered hurricane.

Regime supporters however expressed disbelief that some would doubt the obvious special op: “Why are you surprised by such a heroic act that our special forces carried out with the help of the Iranian experts? Yes this is the great work of the brave lions of Syria in retaliation to the evil conspiracy against our great nation. We will have our victory even if it will take some time.”

I actually heard that the original design for Sharia Sandy was to actually throw off lions. Now that would really freak people out. I do find it interesting that Robertson believes hurricanes are just sent by God automatically as punishment but the Syrians had to turn to the Iranians to manufacture a hurricane hit.

Leslie and I were able to take shelter (no thanks to the Syrians apparently) in a no-tell motel on the side of I-81. We tried to beat the blizzard to get to our kids after driving from New Orleans. (They turned out fine with electricity and our wonderful sitter and her husband at our house). We slammed right into the bizarre hurricane generated blizzard. Visibility went to zero and we were barely able to get off the road. However, we were able to push on in the morning and make it home. We did not even have to crack into our survival kit of Moon Pies bought in Alabama (large boxes of Moon Pies are hard to find in McLean). It was quite an adventure but 1100 miles later, we made it as the storm was still dissipating.

To Assad, I will only say this: your hurricane came and went. However, we remain standing tall and defiant with a Moon Pie in one hand and a Big Gulp in the other. This is America, Buddy. We have shown over and over again that, with sufficient refined sugar and caffeine, we can stand up to anything.

Source: CNN

36 thoughts on “Sandy Goes Sharia: Syrians Claim Storm Was Engineered By Iranians and Sent To U.S. By Syrian Special Forces”

  1. Having never had a moon pie, these comments are making me feel very deprived. I am headed out to buy a Gucci bag to console myself.

  2. For those wondering what this was meant to say:
    “BTW, the Syrians have just proved what I’ve always believed—that the NHC is infiltrated by muslims, shiites of course.”

    I meant that how else could the NHC have known that Sandy would doa hard left (Obama victory?) inot Mew Jersey, just between our nations two campitals.

    New York City with WS as our center of government; and Washingtom as the combined center for financial improvidence and farcical entertainment.

    You get to rest now (from scrolling by me), as it is hunger time. And sadly no Moon Pies. Guess it will be PNBJ sandwiches.

  3. Professor Turley,

    If you have any Moon Pies left, I challenge you to open and eat one live on an apppropriate TV interview.

    Tell’em that you gave some to Obama to help him find his way back to the Constitution. Obama of course replied: “I prefer the white coconut ones”.

  4. Welcome home Prof. Turley. Driving without seeing is tough on the nerves.

    Now unfortunately you can say that about most of the leaders of the world, including Assad.

    And with Romney as Prez, he’ll need Ryan to tell which flop or was it flip that he is supposed to do next.

    Obama at least drives a consistent line—-hard right.

    I wonder what they will call it when Iran eats up Iraq, and then Syria, and then Lebanon? You know, tell the UN what their new name is.
    Will it be Auntie Saudi?

    BTW, the Syrians have just proved what I’ve always believed—that the NHC is infiltrated by muslims, shiites of course.

  5. P Smith 1, October 31, 2012 at 10:44 am

    This sounds as stupid as CNN’s claims about “Iranian drones over Syria”.

    Contrary to the quote, there are lies big enough that people won’t believe.
    Interesting point.

    This year’s presidential debates were the first since 1988 to fail to address global warming induced climate change.

    Rushing into that vacuum are weird ideologies not based on science, but rather based on demented cognition, hate, and fear.

    We are in Groundhog Day mode unless and until we face the challenge.

    The challenge to stop anthropogenic pollution.

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  7. This sounds as stupid as CNN’s claims about “Iranian drones over Syria”.

    Contrary to the quote, there are lies big enough that people won’t believe.

  8. When I was stranded in New Orleans it coincided with Mardi Gras and I called my job and told them about my car being broke down. When I drove back through a snow storm we got stranded in Cotton Plant, Arkiansas and almost got run over by a teenager. When I got back home to Detroit my dachson was fat because the nanny fed him too much. The kids in my class were well behind in their studies because I had been gone and flunked their bar exams. It was a bar tending school so they drowned their failures in sorrow and took it the next week and passed– out. The class took up a collection for my dog nanny and the dog got back on his diet of Armour Hot Dogs.

    In the long view of things I had a blast, the teenager with the car in Cotton Plant did not get a ticket, the dog lost weight on the Armour Hotdogs, the students all got good bar tending jobs, the nanny bought a freezer full of Armour Hotdogs. Oh, I am a guide dog for a partially blind guy.

  9. Glad to hear Prof Turley made it home safely and had an adventure. I think this one would be a good USA Today column, and I hope he submits it.

    I repeat my suggestion that it might be a good solution to his airline woes if he got a pilots license and a plane or go in as partners in one. It is a ton of fun as well as being useful. Since OS lives around his neighborhood, he might be able to give him some instruction or suggestions on how to proceed and the kind of plane that would meet his needs.

  10. Did anyone else watch the “What if a major hurricane hit New York City?” episode on The Weather Channel series “It Could Happen Tomorrow!“?

    It depicted exactly what happened with Hurricane Sandy, in terms of subway flooding, etc., because of storm surge, etc.

  11. This is patently wrong. Everyone knows that the weather, just like banking and Hollywood, is controlled by a secret Jewish cabal. Oh, that and the secret U.S. government program known as HAARP based on the works of Nikola Tesla. Oh, and some guy in Poughkeepsie named Ed. And David Berkowitz’s dog.


  12. Delusion upon delusion.

    The Republicans think the scientific assessment of systemic damage to the global climate realm is the greatest hoax ever fostered on humanity.

    Fundamentalism is the exercise of avoiding issues intellectually.

    The key is to understand that the global climate is a system which operates in a systemic way:

    Yes, global warming systemically caused Hurricane Sandy — and the Midwest droughts and the fires in Colorado and Texas, as well as other extreme weather disasters around the world. Let’s say it out loud, it was causation, systemic causation.

    Systemic causation is familiar. Smoking is a systemic cause of lung cancer. HIV is a systemic cause of AIDS. Working in coal mines is a systemic cause of black lung disease. Driving while drunk is a systemic cause of auto accidents. Sex without contraception is a systemic cause of unwanted pregnancies.

    There is a difference between systemic and direct causation. Punching someone in the nose is direct causation. Throwing a rock through a window is direct causation. Picking up a glass of water and taking a drink is direct causation. Slicing bread is direct causation. Stealing your wallet is direct causation. Any application of force to something or someone that always produces an immediate change to that thing or person is direct causation. When causation is direct, the word cause is unproblematic.

    Systemic causation, because it is less obvious, is more important to understand.

    (Lakoff, HuffPo).

  13. THATS NOT TRUE! I have it on the most reliable of sources – an email forwarded to me by a wingnut relative – that Sandy was cause by Obama to prevent the upcoming election, round up Christians and relocate them to FEMA camps for re-education. This email must be true since it quotes several unnamed sources deep in the government.

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