Meet GW’s Newest Scholar: Professor Molly Turley

In torts class, I promised an esteemed lecturer who spent a lifetime of work on animal liability. Yesterday, they met the professor who had a biting wit and a dogged socratic style: my dog Molly. Her qualifications are that she has spent a lifetime as a dog and has studied most animals under clinical conditions. Herr Professor is tamed but untenured.

With a life-sized stuff Wile E. Coyote next to her for comparison, Molly demonstrated the difference between wild and domesticated animals — a distinction vital to the application of strict liability versus negligence. She further demonstrated the key concept of animus revertendi by coming when called, sitting upon command, shaking upon invitation, and lying down when asked. She even gave demonstrations of oral contracts in performing for the promise of treats — offering a cross-over lecture with contracts that reflect her broad innate knowledge of the law.

A few of the students were so overwhelmed by her lecture (no doubt after a term of listening to a burned out law professor), that they congratulated her at the end of the class.

Now before you say that GW has gone to the dogs, I will note that Molly will be counted toward our student-teacher ratio and has already received some of the highest student evaluations. Indeed, my academic biped colleagues should feel rather uneasy. I have rarely seen students rushing to the front of the class to mollycoddle professors, let alone beg to go on a walk with them.

As for Molly, she took her first class in stride. She is back home though she has adopted a far more contemplative look since walking the halls of academia. I was particularly proud to see her assume the posture of dead wood on the sofa — adjusting easily to the academic pace.

24 thoughts on “Meet GW’s Newest Scholar: Professor Molly Turley

  1. Every human needs a guide dog –whether the human is blind or not. Just the other day I had to help my Pal (one never calls a human Pal and Owner) vote at the polls. One could say that I voted. Early and often. I hope Romney goes back to Michigan without his crate.

  2. Molly is beautiful. I hope that you will start posting a “dog blogging” photo
    at least once a week.

    What breed is she?

  3. LOL, that is a great looking dog. One wishes the lecture had been filmed for YouTube posting.

    If Molly wants to start her own practice there is a feline that might be interested:

  4. This is a totally enjoyable blog post. Molly is quite a good looking dog. However, truth be told, neither of my cats were the least bit impressed. In fact, they are still glaring at me for interrupting their slumber just to hear about an academic dog.

  5. Molly is beautiful. Any class would be brightened by her presence.

    I just got a call from brother. He had a black lab, Jasmine. He just a call that she has been hit by a speeding hit and run car on a dirt road at 3am. This is what he wrote about her 2/10.

    Jasmine, the Story
    Jasmine is a black lab, and our history is deep. She spent two wonderful years with me.
    She was a pup at my daughter’s house in Texas. My daughter had gotten her for a Christmas present. The poor thing had been mistreated by my son-in-law. My daughter, Rachel, came to me, crying as she asked, “Daddy, please take Jasmine so she will be safe.” How could any father refuse? I had only been visiting a short time and was about to head home, so in the car Jasmine went. She was only three months old at that time.
    I had to drive over 2000 miles, and Jasmine was being such a sweetheart. She rode most of the way with her head in my lap. When she wasn’t there, she sat in the passenger’s seat watching out the window. At every stop I would get her out on a leash. Everyone liked her. Children would pet her. Ladies would say, “Oh, how sweet.” And men would say, “Nice dog.” Jasmine learned quickly to do her business off from the beaten path.
    When I got home I put up a dog run that had a long line. I would put her out on it now and then. But Jasmine was content to be with me whether I was hanging up laundry or working in the garden. Soon I was able to trust her off the line. She didn’t care much for it anyway.
    She would just love it when I brought out a frisbee. She would bring it back as long as I would throw it. In the house she had a rubber ball that she would do the same. I would get tired of playing, and she would sit patiently waiting for me to give in and throw them again. When she got tired she would lay or sit on which ever toy she had.
    When I would go to work I could see her in the window watching me go. She would always greet me when I got home, her tail just a-wagging. She would hardly ever jump up on me, but instead she would stand on her back feet and almost look me in the eye. Sometimes she’d mess on the floor, and she’d act so ashamed.
    I always put a gate across the stairs to limit her access. One day I had forgotten. I remember getting home and finding no mess. I praised her up good. That night when I went to bed I noticed I had forgotten the gate. I had three big giant pillows on my bed. That night I had two feet of fluff everywhere. It was like my bed was floating on clouds. I couldn’t scold her as she sat there so proud. On cold nights she would jump in my bed and lie next to me. I didn’t mind because she had a built-in heater.
    Jasmine traveled with me again to Texas. She was a year old. We took our sweet time. We stopped at an emerald mine in North Carolina, and she was the gem. She even helped me dig. She might have been the one to excavate a sapphire. When we got to Texas and my daughter’s house, Rachel was amazed at what a magnificent dog Jasmine had become. I believe that Jasmine didn’t forget the one who mistreated her, but she chose to forgive him instead. Of course, Jasmine was ready to go when I was.
    It was after my return home that I was diagnosed with a life threatening disease, the “cure” for which would take almost a year. About half way through the treatment I found myself unable to take care of myself, let alone a very active black lab. I needed to look into the options of what to do with Jasmine. A kennel would not do. I could not see Jasmine in a cage. In the process of looking for alternatives the aide that was tending my mother said that she might be interested. She had two children, a boy, 10 and a girl, 8. They lived in the country. It was a year ago when I handed her the leash with my baby on it, a quick but not easy exchange.
    I have seen Jasmine since. With my treatment complete I went over for dinner not too long ago. As I got out of my van I let out my special whistle. Jasmine stopped barking and came right up to me, laid her head against my thigh, and sighed.
    She is doing well, and I am happy for her. I can only dream of taking her back. I miss my black beauty, but those two children would miss her more.
    Whether they are tears of joy or tears of sorrow, I am glad to be able to feel.

  6. I was looking around the internets reading about the “slut vote” story (Obama won the election because of) and landed at this website:

    In the left hand colophon there is a very nice little illo of a black dog and a little pop-up menu at the bottom. If the dog is lay’n down and you double-click her/him she gets up and follows the cursor, click the ball and s/he fetches it back, click the bone and it gets the bone, click the kibble symbol and it finds and eats the treats, click the camera and it pans- follows the dog out of frame etc, click the cursor and it follows the cursor, click the black cursor and it sits. Some of the commands are combinable. I’ve been sitting here playing with the dog for some time now and thought this is a good spot to post the link.

    Good dog, sit.

  7. lotta, my brother didn’t have the heart to reclaim Jasmine when he got well enough to care for a dog. He visited her occasionally. Her new family lives several miles away. His new companion is a brindle lab. Another great lady.

  8. LK,

    I had not heard of this before….. It appears that no one likes when the candidate that they support takes a hit…. In as much, we the American people should hope, pray( for those of you that believe) and wish that he and all of the elected officials will do what is right not just by and for the American people but the world as a whole…. Quit the partisan bickering…. Stop the if you’re not one of us then you’re one of them….. That’s the biggest divide in the world… Here it used to be… The mason Dixon line….. Enough already…. Humanity is more dignified…..

  9. AY, I’ve never seen the political, racial, sex, class divide played out in a campaign as plainly and forthrightly as this one. That was kind of refreshing and horrifying. We’ll be better off as a country if we could put those things behind us but I don’t think it’s going to happen in my lifetime.

  10. @Bettykath: “She was a pup at my daughter’s house in Texas. My daughter had gotten her for a Christmas present. The poor thing had been mistreated by my son-in-law. My daughter, Rachel, came to me, crying as she asked, “Daddy, please take Jasmine so she will be safe.” How could any father refuse?”

    BettyKath, What about your niece — is she safe?

Comments are closed.