Terror Tots: Colorado Second Grade Student Suspended For Throwing Pretend Grenade And Saying “Pshhh”

grenade6n-3-webIn Loveland, Colorado, school officials at Mary Blair Elementary School have suspended a second grade student for throwing a make believe grenade.  That’s right, an invisible, pretend grenade followed by a reported “pshhh” sound. It is the latest in the sheer lunacy of “zero tolerance” policies that continue to be applied in this ridiculous manner because school officials are never disciplined for these decisions (here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and and here). For a prior column, click here.

Alex Evans says that he was just playing around with friends when he found himself suspended. He said that the game is called “rescue the world” and threw the imaginary grenade into a box with pretend evil forces inside. “I pretended the box, there’s something shaking in it, and I go ‘pshhh.’” That appears to be a shocking display in a place called “Loveland.” So adults proceeded to throw aside any sense of logic, judgment, or equity and suspended a seven-year-old boy for throwing a pretend grenade.

This type of absurd and abusive action occurs because these school officials know that they will not be held accountable for suspending students but could be blamed for any violation of the rules. The result is that the kids bear the cost of this bureaucratic lunacy.

9473128I could not find any statement from Principal Valerie Lara-Black on her zero tolerance for make believe grenades in the fight against evil in a box. It is not clear if Lara-Black called in a pretend bomb squad to be sure that the pretend grenade in the box of evil was entirely safe.

While her stand leaves most of us entirely incensed, she did give little Alex Evans an important lesson in authoritarian learning.

Source: KDVR

30 thoughts on “Terror Tots: Colorado Second Grade Student Suspended For Throwing Pretend Grenade And Saying “Pshhh””

  1. Dear Thompson School District Parents and Families,

    Please see the statement below regarding the recent incident that occurred at Mary Blair Elementary School:

    As a matter of practice, the Thompson School District does not comment publicly on matters of student discipline. In this case, however, the parent of the student has chosen to make this a public issue, and because there appears to be a great deal of misinformation in the media about this matter, we feel compelled to respond.

    On February 1, 2013, a student at Mary Blair Elementary School was observed by a teacher throwing rocks at other children on the school’s playground. The teacher, following District procedures, escorted the child to the school principal, whereupon the student’s mother was contacted. Following a discussion with the student and his mother, the principal imposed a 2-hour in-school suspension as a consequence for the student’s behavior. The student was never removed from school grounds by the District.

    Thompson School District R2-J
    800 South Taft Avenue
    Loveland, Colorado 80537
    This is an automated message, please do not reply to this email.

  2. If it’s any consolation, no one in Colorado outside the school system thinks this is a reasonable call by the principal. To me, it’s just another log on the fire that’s trying to get the government out of the school business – they fail every single time.

    Homeschooling for excellence.

  3. Morons. The only place this can lead is disrespect and disdain for those in positions of authority.

  4. The song Dredd posted about is actually called “For What It’s Worth” written by Steven Stills and performed by Buffalo Springfield of which he was a member at the time. Just in case anyone wanted to get the MP3 no offense intended (I am a lifelong rock music fan and slide guitarist ).

  5. Majoring in Minors: Turning Our Schools into Totalitarian Enclaves

    By John W. Whitehead

    February 04, 2013



    ” Students have also been penalized for such inane “crimes” as bringing nail clippers to school, using Listerine or Scope, and carrying fold-out combs that resemble switchblades. A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia, who gave a Certs breath mint to a classmate, was actually suspended, while a 12-year-old boy who said he brought powdered sugar to school for a science project was charged with a felony for possessing a look-alike drug. Another 12-year-old was handcuffed and jailed after he stomped in a puddle, splashing classmates. After students at a Texas school were assigned to write a “scary” Halloween story, one 13-year-old chose to write about shooting up a school. Although he received a passing grade on the story, school officials reported him to the police, resulting in his spending six days in jail before it was determined that no crime had been committed.

    These incidents, while appalling, are the byproducts of an age that values security over freedom, where police have relatively limitless powers to search individuals and homes by virtue of their badge, and where the Constitution is increasingly treated as a historic relic rather than a bulwark against government abuses. Where we go from here is anyone’s guess, but the future doesn’t look good from where I’m sitting—not for freedom as we know it, and certainly not for the young people being raised on a diet of abject compliance to police authority, intolerance for minor offenses, overt surveillance and outright totalitarianism.”

    1. The totalitarian enclaves has been ever present. It has been squeezing its tentacles imperatively tighter. Freedom in anything is a lie. The very presence of jails with condemning police shows that freedom is a lie.

  6. Indigo, James in LA and Arctic Fox,

    RE; Extirpation of imagination in our schools. Is this a problem?
    Oh wait a minute, “imagination is far more important than knowledge”.

    Albert Einstein said that. Nice to know Colorado educators are doing their part to cultivate genius.

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