Happy Easter to all of our bloggers and readers that are celebrating today. The fluffy interloper came last night and left an array of goodies for the four kids. He was forced to work a bit later by two separate questionnaires from Madie and Aidan.

Our kids are “double-dippers” — getting both Passover and Easter.

We are preparing for our annual Easter Egg hunt when we invite all of the neighborhood kids for a massive search for hundreds of eggs. We are hoping the rain passes through by the time of the hunt.  We have 300 eggs to hide this year.

I will be making our traditional mustard-herb coated lamb tonight with a favorite Cabernet. We have to do two legs for the guests and Leslie and the kids have made a bunny cake.

Happy Easter to everyone — now hop to it and eat more chocolate!

Jonathan Turley

32 thoughts on “HAPPY EASTER!!!”



  2. Beldar:

    I must admit that as a child of the 1970’s, I enjoyed watching you drink a six pack of beer all at the same time, and smoke an entire pack of cigarettes at once. Now that I am in my 40’s, you represent to me a model customer for my business. Please send your friends from Remulak to my store for their need to consume massive quantities of products. I would be very honoured to accomodate them, and I’ve plenty of French wine.

  3. Beldar, I’m so glad to hear your research has taken you to our desert oasis of gaming dreams and that your research has led you to a Club of your liking. You’ve immediately grasped the central philosophy of the city: you’re always welcome- as long as your money holds out. The speed with which you understand, in fact, seemingly embrace some of our customs is really amazing and I look forward to reading more of your various holiday observations and comments during the coming year. Remulak has made a wise choice in sending you.

  4. Thank you Lottakatz. I am writing from Vegas as I speak (or type) and one of the reasons I am here is to study the clothing worn by some of the women who frequent the casino. They do have golf carts here and I have a driver. I do not gamble but do see a lot of shows and other entertainment. I went to one place that was full of Easter Bunnies but they were really women in nice clothing and big bunny ears. They told me that it is Easter all year there. The good thing is they did not spoil it with that stuff about the guy dying on a cross. I was sent here to figure out the Easter thing and I found the right city and now the right Club. That statement about what happens here, stays here, gets repeated a lot. My Bunny Driver says she has never seen a conehead before but if she did she would not tell. So, if a fellow Remulak fellow comes here I will not get ratted out. The way things are going, I might stay here. If my money holds out.

  5. Beldar, If you have a festival on Remulak to coincide with Creton that is similar to the real Easter and or Mardi Gras but your people wouldn’t understand (may I presume) the excess’ then I suspect that they aren’t using enough medicinal organics. Obviously from your description of your research you are the man to show them the way. 🙂

    Might I also suggest that in the future your research take you to Las Vegas because what happens there stays there, if you catch my drift. You won’t get in trouble at home for what they don’t know about.

  6. It was not me. Why do they call that time of no fun before Easter, “Lint”?
    Here we are having a good time and bam, they close down Mardi Gras and start talking bunny rabbit stuff 30 days down the road.

  7. I think Beldar is the guy who got locked up in Plaquemine Parish driving a golf cart on Interstate 95 at a low rate of speed on Fat Tuesday. He had a coneshaped head and kept saying that he was from France. Drunk as a skunk but it ain’t illegal to drive drunk in a golf cart on Fat Tuesday. He had a lady with him from the Quarter who said she was getting paid by the hour and he said it was laid by the hour. We let em both go.

  8. Beldar here. The reason that we came to check out America was because we heard that the people in a place called New Orleans had a festival similar to our festival. The one that Lottakatz describes and recommends is similar to ours. Of course New Orleans is a French town and so we blended in and told them that we were from France. I went overboard in the learning thing and got reprimanded back on Remulak. My nickname back on planet is now Mardi. We get a solar spurt on Remulak once a Creton which is like five years and that is the time that our festival happens. So thanks for the advice and I am leaving the Easter Bunny thing in the basket so to speak because the folks back home will not understand or approve. We are from France.

  9. Beldar, no, no, no! You’re over-thinking it. You’re not getting invited to the good Easter celebrations because you’re a newcomer. You’re also not getting the whole story, the real history, because you’re just watching commercials which are not historically correct and the History Channel is now about something else. But Remulak definitely needs a REAL Easter celebration so you immediately need to recommend Easter in true, historically accurate form to your high command. Here’s the real deal:

    Pick a day concurrent with a significant celestial event and set it and a few days to recover aside as the date. Book a park or public woodland for the event.

    Easter was invented by confectioners millennia ago to kick off their spring sales season but it became much more than that. It aggregates many traditions and folk tales otherwise unprofitable since they apply to localized cultural groups. So you want to have tons, just tons of whatever passes for candy on you planet available. Can’t have Easter without tons of candy. Arrange the candy in great mounds and hillocks around your celebration space so people can throw themselves into them and eat their way through to the other side, like the great worms on Arrakis.

    Invite all the families and friends you have. Everyone should bring mass quantities of food and beverage. Mass, baby, MASS. Also the day should start with a forage in the park and woods for ‘medicinal’ plants, fungi and herbs, and they should be sprinkled liberally on all of the food to enhance the spiritual well being of the assembled crowd.

    Play sports, lots’a sports. It’s a day that kicks off outdoor sports season and one wants to encourage the commercial success of the sports segment of the economy symbolically. And it’s good for you. We no longer till the vanquished contestants. Now sports, like dancing, is all about physical fitness and maths, the computation of odds and probabilities. What do you think the Easter egg hunts are? Early indoctrination into gamesmanship and exercise of course. Mass quantities of sports and games.

    Dance- take off your cloths and dance with joy till’ the morning comes. Everybody that has one should bring their own musical instrument. Dancing builds community. Think: rave scene from Matrix Reloaded. Dance!

    Feast, sports, dance, feast, sports, dance, repeat until dawn. Seriously, you Remulackians are going to LOVE Easter IF YOU DO IT RIGHT. You guys will be the envy of the galaxy, for sure. Take videos with your communication devices and post them to YouTube, I can’t wait to see them.

    Peace out Beldar.

  10. Happy Easter/Passover Professor to you and your family. It sounds like a great day of feasting and games for all.

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