As the Supreme Court considers the same-sex marriage cases in Hollingsworth and Windsor, the arrest of Roger Gorley could serve as an answer to justices like Chief Justice John Roberts who asked pointedly what the rush was for an answer on the issue. Gorley was arrested at the Research Medical Center in Kansas City after he refused to leave the side of his partner. While he had power of attorney and the right to make medical decisions, family members did not want him in the room. Because he was not viewed as a “spouse” and therefore a family member, he was told to leave.
Gorley is now the subject of a restraining order to prevent further visitation.
Gorley said the nurse refused to confirm the couple’s shared power of attorney and medical decision form.
“She didn’t even bother to look it up, to check in to it,” the Lee’s Summit resident recalled.
The hospital insists “when anyone becomes disruptive to providing the necessary patient care, we involve our security team to help calm the situation and to protect our patients and staff. If the situation continues to escalate, we have no choice but to request police assistance.”
I do not know how Gorley acted, but the confrontation occurred after he was told to leave. If they were recognized as spouses, such an order would be highly unlikely. Clearly, the hospital can expel anyone who is causing a disruption, including all family members. The absence of marital status however places people like Gorley at a disadvantage in disagreements with other family members over visitation.
Source: Rawstory
Mike,
When my mother was getting radiation treatments the doctor recommended that I put in her a nursing home close to the hospital so that they could pick her up and bring her back with ease. The treatments were being done a down in Columbus and I lived 21/2 hours away. My mother agreed to give it a go so I had her admitted to the facility. After one night my mother called (remember, she’s a nurse) and told me there were feces on the floor in the room next to hers.
I hung up, called the doctor to complain about his recommended nursing home and then left immediately for Columbus. I rented a hotel room, rented a hospital bed and other necessary tools and that evening signed my mother out of that doctor recommended he!! hole and took her to the hotel where she and I spent the next three months getting her radiation treatments.
My mother, a feisty soul even when sick, told her doctor to find another nursing home from which he could receive kickbacks.
Mike,
There is very little information about Allen’s condition. If you are relying on what Roger’s daughter said, that doesn’t tell me much. Allen is obviously close to his brother and sister-in-law; I don’t know why people assume they are in the wrong or that they are mean people. Doesn’t anyone else here have family that doesn’t get along but you like both of them? My brother and sister don’t speak.
I hope Jonathan does an article about Advance Directives, living wills, medical power of attorney. I have some experience with my mother on this — it all depends on the doctor you run into whether you’ll have a problem or not. My mother’s cardiologist told me that having these forms filled out “might” help. At the hospital in her final weeks, one doctor wanted to do a n operation to put in a new heart valve. She had dementia over 5 years at that point.
Blouise,
The hospital is a good one. Our relative has some excellent doctors that he sees there. I think a big part of the problem with many hospitals these days is having “hospitalists”–doctors who don’t actually know a patient–take over care of a patient when he/she is in the hospital…instead of having the patient under the care of the primary care doctor or the specialists who really know him/her.
*****
What is a Hospitalist?
Hospitalists do not have a clinic practice and are easily available when you and your family have questions or concerns. The hospitalist takes the place of your primary care physician while you are in the hospital.
http://www.lahey.org/Departments_and_Locations/Departments/Hospitalists/Hospitalists.aspx
Mike,
I still remember vividly the days and nights my mother, sister, and I spent at the local hospital when my father was gravely ill in the ICU. We didn’t get a lot of information from the doctors and staff regarding the true status of my father’s serious condition–so we couldn’t really make informed decisions about his care. I was finally fed up and called his specialist and demanded to know the truth about my father and whether there was any hope for his recovery. Unfortunately, I was told there was no hope–but at least once our family got the awful news we could make an informed decision about what needed to be done. It’s not right to give a family false hope.
Elaine,
Yep … been there. You might (perhaps you already have) want to investigate other hospitals if there others around you. We have 7 in our area and there is one that I would never, ever, in a million years use. One of the first things I stress when calling the EMT’s is “Do not, under any circumstances take him to (insert name of hospital)” We have a notarized note from his heart doctor to that effect if it’s needed and I had to use it once.
“Our relative was discharged from the hospital prematurely after he was admitted for the second time in less than a week. After he got home, he improved for a couple of days…and then he got progressively worse as he was tapered off his medication too quickly. So…back to the hospital he went again!”
Elaine,
In the spirit of this comment let me relate one more experience and then I’ll withdraw from the discussion having personalized it too much. After my Heart Transplant and the weeks of recovery, the staff decided to discharge me. This was despite the fact that my oxygenation was in the high 80’s to low 90’s, which is not optimal. Since as you can see from my experiences with them as a youth I loathe being in the hospital I sided with the staff. My wife strenuously objected, saying too that she sensed I was not as mentally alert as I normally
am. My wishes prevailed. Three days later I was barely able to move and slightly psychotic from my lack of oxygen and over my objections my wife called 911. That was the night of the ER incident I mentioned above. All I remember of that ight was up until I entered the ambulance. Three days later the fog lifted and I found myself down in my Transplant Hospital at he University of Miami. I was waking up from a difficult lung surgery and didn’t even know they had transported me down the 70 odd miles to Miami in the interim. My wonderful Transplant Surgeon had performed the lung surgery. He told me that my wife’s quick action, over my own oxygen-starved wishes had saved my life. That is why one needs someone to rely on and intervene when they deal with Physicians, Nurses and hospitals.
Mr. Gorley should have been listened to and not man-handled and arrested.
Poor guy. Was he addicted to the painkillers?
Blouise,
Our relative was discharged from the hospital prematurely after he was admitted for the second time in less than a week. After he got home, he improved for a couple of days…and then he got progressively worse as he was tapered off his medication too quickly. So…back to the hospital he went again!
Gay man separated from husband in hospital was beaten and harassed
By David Ferguson
Friday, April 12, 2013 12:43 EDT
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/04/12/gay-man-separated-from-husband-in-hospital-was-beaten-and-harassed/
Excerpt;
Mansell and Gorley have been bound by a civil union for five years, granting them each power of attorney over each other’s health decisions, the kind of arrangement that Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg called a “skim milk marriage” in oral arguments regarding same sex marriage before the Supreme Court earlier this month.
Mansell suffers from severe depression, which is being treated with Electroshock Therapy (ECT) at Research Medical Center in Kansas City twice per month. Research Medical is not Mansell’s primary hospital, but rather where he goes specifically for ECT sessions. Normally, the two men use St. Luke’s Medical Center in Lee’s Summit, Missouri, where their legal arrangement is respected by hospital staff.
Paramedics took Mansell to Research Medical on Tuesday, April 9 when he became sluggish and intermittently responsive at home. When Gorley arrived at the hospital, he was met by his partner’s brother Lee Mansell and sister Pat, who disapprove of the two men’s relationship. Lee Mansell asserted that he was next of kin and would be making all of his brother’s health decisions.
Elaine,
Re: your recent experience, coupled with Mike’s experiences and my own … dealing with the hospital staff is sometimes one of the most stressful parts for the patient’s family.
Blouise/Elaine,
Unfortunately my experiences with hospitals and their sometimes ineffective care, bordering on cruelty, goes back 51 years. When I was 17 and a senior in HS, my mother suffered a massive stroke, paralyzing her whole right side.
Although we had great health insurance our Doctor’s convinced us to have her go to the County Hospital which supposedly had the best Rehab Unit available on Long Island. although our medical insurance covered private nursing care we couldn’t find a nurse for the Midnight to 8:00 am shift. My father and I alternated nights and covered it ourselves for a month. My mother was in a ward with 12 beds and during that shift not a nurse was to be found. I had to lift my mother up onto a commode if she needed to relieve herself. One does not want to take care of such intimate details with a parent of a different sex, but it was my mother. I can only imagine how humiliated my mother was, but there was no staff available at that time of night to assist.
One day I came after school to visit and found my mother struggling with a nurse and crying. The day shift private nurse we hired had decided to make her life easier by having my mother catheterized. The catheter hurt her and made her uncomfortable. I intervened and even then I was a large man. I refused to allow the cath and stood off the Nurses and the Doctor, when they finally called for security. Luckily my Grandfather and two Uncles arrived as they were grabbing me. They intervened and even money was seen to change hands and she wasn’t cathed. That was the beginnings of my understanding about how hospitals work. Though many are wonderful institutions, even the best are so hidebound with their system of procedures, that many times patient comfort and care are low on the priority list.
I could go into many of the hospital horror stories I’ve personally faced in my life, but it would take far more than a comment, or even a blog. Hospitals are needed and most times do wonderful work, but the estimate of about 100,000
unnecessary patient deaths per years has been around since the 60’s and I don’t doubt its truth.
Elaine,
Its obviously a situation where the brother and Roger don’t get along but the patient wants both of them in his life. I’m not sure what the medical situation is with Allen but it sounds to be on-going thing and serious. Thats really stressful on everyone. I wonder how many times he’s been rushed to the hospital like this.
Karen,
From the ThinkProgress article that I provided a link to earlier:
How Allen Was Admitted On Tuesday
– Amanda (Roger’s daughter) was taking care of Allen while Roger was at work at Tuesday, but when they returned home from a few errands, Allen’s brother Lee and sister Pat were waiting at the door with paramedics and police.
– Due to Allen’s sluggish state, the police determined he was a “danger to himself” and decided to take him to the hospital against his will. Rather than taking him to St. Luke’s Hospital in Lee’s Summit, the local hospital where his regular doctors are, they took him to the Research Medical Center in Kansas City, which he only goes to for his ECT. They ignored Amanda’s attempts to explain Allen’s medical needs and procedures.
– Amanda called her father, Roger, and urged him to get to Allen’s side immediately. When he arrived at the hospital, Lee was also there.
The Family Confrontation
– Lee asserted that he was not going to allow Roger to make decisions for Allen and that he would instead. This enraged Roger, who replied, “No you won’t! This is my husband. I know what he wants and needs. You are never around. You need to leave.”
– The nurse informed Roger that because of his agitated state, he needed to leave. When he explained that he intended to stay with his husband, she replied, “I know who you two are. You need to leave.” Refusing to acknowledge their legal relationship, she called the police to have Roger forcibly removed.
– Allen, who was in and out of consciousness, objected as he was able, saying, “I want him here.”
– A follow-up story from Fox 4 suggests that Roger and Lee were having a loud fight, but doesn’t otherwise contradict this account.
http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/04/12/1857741/what-actually-happened-to-that-same-sex-couple-in-the-missouri-hospital/
I just read the account at thinkprogress that Elaine linked to. Both Lee and Roger got removed from the hospital for their behavior, which was totally unacceptable behavior for visitors to a hospital, medical power of attorney or not. That medical power of attorney is irrelevant once someone is being aggressive and disruptive.
Hospitals have staff ready to remove people in these situations. I have seen family members removed over their reaction to the death of a loved one. Its heartbreaking but what can they do? There are other patients on the floor who have to be kept in their rooms while a situation like this is going on.
You are assuming this gay couple would have married if gay marriage was legal in Missouri. Thats a big assumption.
What was the patient’s condition? Maybe he wanted Gorley to leave so he could be alone with his family? Was he comatose?
“What was the patient’s condition? Maybe he wanted Gorley to leave so he could be alone with his family? Was he comatose?”
Karen from NJ,
Just a hint for you. When making comments it is always best to read all the information given so that your questions are pertinent rather than off the mark.
What Actually Happened To That Same-Sex Couple In The Missouri Hospital
By Zack Ford
Apr 12, 2013
http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/04/12/1857741/what-actually-happened-to-that-same-sex-couple-in-the-missouri-hospital/
Elaine,
With the Think Progress article this story takes shape and it isn’t a pretty one. Seems like another story of a family interfering with a gay person’s relationship due to their own prejudice. Also taking the ER out of the equation certainly makes the hospital’s actions that more suspect.
MSPB said they take allegations of judicial bias seriously. The AJ found me guilty of something I wasn’t even accused of and I proved it. He was a fruit.
Federal Officials Aim For “Speedy” Response Following Missouri Hospital Arrest
After the arrest of gay patient’s partner in Missouri’s Research Medical Center, federal officials are “working to gather the facts and determine what steps to take in a speedy manner.”
Chris Geidner
posted on April 11, 2013
http://www.buzzfeed.com/chrisgeidner/federal-officials-aim-for-speedy-response-to-missouri-hospit
WASHINGTON — Federal officials are “aware” of the Missouri hospital that had a man arrested for refusing to leave the bedside of his partner, and “are working to gather the facts and determine what steps to take in a speedy manner,” a Medicare/Medicaid spokesman said Thursday afternoon.
News spread Thursday about the arrest of Roger Gorley, who had been trying to visit at Research Medical Center in Kansas City with the man he described in a Facebook note as his husband, Allen Mansell. The two were joined in a civil union.
When one of Mansell’s family members asked him to leave, he refused and was later arrested. According to a note posted on Research Medical Center’s Facebook page Thursday afternoon, “This was an issue of disruptive and belligerent behavior by the visitor that affected patient care.” The hospital also states in the post that the decision was unrelated to sexual orientation.
At President Obama’s direction during his first term, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius issued regulations mandating that hospitals that receive Medicaid or Medicare funds allow patients the right to have visitors of their choosing, regardless of sexual orientation.
Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS), which enforces the regulations through coordination with the states, is looking into the situation. CMS spokesman Brian Cook told BuzzFeed Thursday afternoon, “CMS is aware of this specific issue and we are working to gather the facts and determine what steps to take in a speedy manner.”
“All Americans are guaranteed the right to receive hospital visitors that they designate, and there are specific protections in our rules for same-sex couples across the country,” Cook added. “We take alleged violations of federal rules around hospital visitation very seriously.”
Guidance issued by CMS on the regulations includes the following: “When a patient who is not incapacitated has designated, either orally to hospital staff or in writing, another individual to be his/her representative, the hospital must involve the designated representative in the development and implementation of the patient’s plan of care.”
roger:
I think the principle of doctors/nurses having a say during treatment still stands no matter where the event occured.
Blouise,
My in-law who is the ER/ICU doctor stressed that our family should not be too nice when our relative was taken to the ER after his discharge from the hospital earlier in the day. We had wondered why the relative was discharged without any medication or further examination when he had told the doctor that he was experiencing a lot of pain and showed her that his right hand was swelling and that there was a large lump on his wrist. She brushed him off with–and I’m paraphrasing here–you can take care of that as an outpatient. We had thought the doctor knew what she was doing. Evidently, she didn’t. The relative had to be readmitted to the hospital.
ottery scribe
How did you determine that this confrontation took place in an emergency room? The video indicates this event took place in the psychiatric unit, not an ER. The reports consistently use the term “bedside” which doesn’t sound like an ER.
All the reports say that it was not hospital staff who initially asked for the man’s removal – it was the family member, who simply objected to having a gay man in the room – there is no indication that intensive medical care was being given and people were in the way. One would also think that IF that were the case, then all of family members would be asked to leave. They were not.
And if the eyewitness account of the daughter of the accused man is to be believed, the patient actually asked that the partner stay, and that the disruptive family member was the gay bigot.
Seems to me that you may be completely misrepresenting the situation.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Kansas_City_%28AOR-3%29
My battle station was the main switchboard.