As the Supreme Court considers the same-sex marriage cases in Hollingsworth and Windsor, the arrest of Roger Gorley could serve as an answer to justices like Chief Justice John Roberts who asked pointedly what the rush was for an answer on the issue. Gorley was arrested at the Research Medical Center in Kansas City after he refused to leave the side of his partner. While he had power of attorney and the right to make medical decisions, family members did not want him in the room. Because he was not viewed as a “spouse” and therefore a family member, he was told to leave.
Gorley is now the subject of a restraining order to prevent further visitation.
Gorley said the nurse refused to confirm the couple’s shared power of attorney and medical decision form.
“She didn’t even bother to look it up, to check in to it,” the Lee’s Summit resident recalled.
The hospital insists “when anyone becomes disruptive to providing the necessary patient care, we involve our security team to help calm the situation and to protect our patients and staff. If the situation continues to escalate, we have no choice but to request police assistance.”
I do not know how Gorley acted, but the confrontation occurred after he was told to leave. If they were recognized as spouses, such an order would be highly unlikely. Clearly, the hospital can expel anyone who is causing a disruption, including all family members. The absence of marital status however places people like Gorley at a disadvantage in disagreements with other family members over visitation.
Source: Rawstory
Elaine,
Roger’s power of attorney surely has not kicked in to make medical decisions for Allen. Allen is not incompetent. No one was overriding the power of attorney; it just wasn’t operative.
We don’t know why Allen’s family is not supportive of the relationship with Roger. Maybe they just don’t like Roger but they did like other guys Allen was involved with. We don’t know. Allen’s family are not monsters if they come to see him and try to look after him.
Families aren’t all ice cream and cake. My brother and sister don’t talk and my mother was very much opposed to my sister’s marriage (he had 4 children from an earlier marriage; sorry to say, my mother was right. Those kids were awful. They’re all adults now.)
AY, My daughter battles depression and it is heartbreaking when it overwhelms her. You have a disease that is controllable, just like the diabetes I battle. It’s a daily battle w/ good and bad days. I hope the good ones outnumber the bad ones. I am an eternal optimist w/ a good dose of common sense. Both you and my daughter have a keen sense of humor. That is an important tool in your battle. Remember, life is beautiful and NEVER give up hope..NEVER!
Elaine,
If it were something that could just be snapped away….. I’d tried it by now…. Tried the other stuff as well…..
AY,
“She should just get over it…. ”
I heard that in regard to the friend I wrote about. Many people don’t understand that depression is not something that one can just snap out of and get over. It’s not like people choose to be in depression.
AY,
I have known some good people in my life who suffered from depression and mental illness. One was treated with ECT–which didn’t help–and two attempted suicide.
I just love it when folks say…. Just get over it…. Kinda like a bad wizard of oz trip…..
You know Elaine….. That is the darkest place that I’ve ever seen…. And I’ve seen some dark places….
AY,
I have a dear friend who has suffered from depression for nearly a decade. She never leaves the house now. It is very sad. She is a brilliant woman who used to be a very outgoing and outspoken. She loved going to the theater and lectures and on trips to different places. It has been difficult for her husband who is a most caring and understanding man.
opuszczały pieczary, przeciągały się spośród chrzęstem pancerza, rozkładały zdrętwiałe plucky od czasu snu skrzydła.
Ten jest bez ryzyka
przyzwyczajony, że o tej porze pojawia się danie,
żadna osoba ostrożny nie.
Elaine,
Thank you for your update…. Depression is one of those diagnosis that folks have very little understanding….. I agree with the gentlmans decision… This is probably one area that the family should be made to be emotionally detached…..
For what I understand ECT is not a decision to be taken lightly…..
From what I read (all links) it seems to be that brother and sister-in-law were the first ones out of line, then the nurse, then the cops. Brother and sister-in-law were removed only after the patient insisted they be removed.
I don’t fault Gorley for speaking up. Nurse should have had brother removed at the start of the conflict.
It’s probably time to take the patient to his primary doctors at the other hospital.
Karen,
The Couple’s Background
Allen suffers from severe depression and is currently undergoing electro-shock treatment (ECT) twice a month because his medications are no longer allowing him to function normally.
Allen has specifically excluded his family from having any say over his medical decisions because they have not been understanding of the impact of his depression.
Not only have Roger and Allen granted each other power of attorney, but they are known throughout the hospital as a proud gay couple because they are regularly there for Allen’s treatments.
Allen’s family has not been supportive of his relationship with Roger.
http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/04/12/1857741/what-actually-happened-to-that-same-sex-couple-in-the-missouri-hospital/
Allen is making the medical decisions for himself. There is no indication that Allen is incapable of making medical decisions. Roger cannot get Allen’s medical records at this time without Allen’s consent.
Elaine,
Lee and his wife visit Allen. Thats how it all started, that Lee and his wife and the police and paramedics took Allen to the hospital and stayed with him in the hospital. Is there any indication that they were doing it for reasons other than concern for Allen, who apparently has serious health problems?
I could see where it could be a stressful situation and have nothing whatsoever to do with Roger being gay. Roger wants to keep Allen at a local hospital and a lot of other people think Allen should go to a better hospital. Allen is not a very old person just waiting to die; maybe the better hospital can do something for him that makes a difference.
Lee and his wife did not force Allen against his will and Roger’s power of attorney is irrelevant. The standard for competence to make your own decisions about medical care is pretty low and every indication is that Allen was not incompetent. The police and paramedics were taking him to a hospital that he DOES go to sometimes.
We don’t know if Roger came in storming about them taking him to the non-local hospital. Sounds like that could be the case per Roger’s daughter. Roger’s power of attorney, the civil union or even a marriage would be irrelevant, really.
The last time I was in the hospital, one of the techs told me about someone coming into the hospital and shooting a patient on a gurney. That place was pretty on edge, much more so than previous times I’d been there.
Ralph,
I still think this is a non-story. He apparently calmed down, hospital got the paperwork straight, and he was allowed back to visit as of this morning. Based on experience, all parties involved probably got a lecture on how to behave, and allowed back on a promise of appropriate behavior. That is standard protocol.
I don’t know how many psychiatric unit (or emergency room) melees you have participated in. If somebody is acting out and becoming belligerent or combative, it would not matter if the power of attorney was signed by the Chief Justice of the SCOTUS. Security is trained to protect nurses, staff and the patient from harm first. Everything else comes second.
Because Gorley had power of attorney and the right to make medical decisions, Gorley should demand that the hospital produce daily medical records and make them available to him, in lieu of the hospital’s failure to permit him visitation rights. Also, if Gorley has power of attorney over finances as well, then he could use that power as a bargaining chip to get the hospital to comply with his request for daily medical records. Gorley should then keep a written record of any hospital decisions that were made inappropriately without Gorley’s consent. Should the hospital make one important slip-up, Gorley will then be in a position to express his beligerance in a truly productive way–by suing the hospital for a lot of cash. Hospitals don’t like to listen to most people, but they do sit up and pay attention when they are the subject of lawsuits.
Roger Lambert,
In reply to your question. I first read the story yesterday. Most accounts did not reference any unit, but I found two that mentioned emergency room. If it was a psychiatric ward, then the story does not change a lot. Most psychiatric hospitals will not allow any family or friends to visit for a certain number of days. Some for as long as a week. It is commonplace to discover a patient’s mental health issues stem from family conflicts; hence, the reason for the stabilization period.
I am waiting for the full story to come out.
Karen,
How do you know that Allen is close to his brother and sister-in-law? Evidently, Allen trusted Gorley and chose him to be the one to make medical decisions for him.
Mike S.,
your 3 days of being out of it reminded me of a few weekends in college! 🙂
Elaine,
I said it earlier, but I do not understand how anyone can order the agent under a lawful durable power of attorney out of the room and suggest that he or she are going to make all the decisions. Without a court order at that time, the hospital must honor the legal document.