Bay Watch — Russian Style

Who needs David Hasselhoff when you have a 500 ton hovercraft? This, it seems, is how the Russians clear a beach for military exercises. Beach goers were enjoying a typical day at the Mechnikovo beach near Kaliningrad on the Baltic Sea when the hovercraft appeared and to the surprise of thousands just entered the beach. Sunbathers were then ordered to leave the beach.

The Zubr-type vessel can transport 400 troops and comes with missile launchers.

The military insists that this beach is technically its property and that this was a standard training exercise. Sun bathers were simply expected to get out of the way. It is inevitable really. You find the perfect spot, carefully shake off the sand and lay down for a quiet day at the beach when a 500 ton Zubr-class hovercraft with 400 troops and missiles pulls up.

13 thoughts on “Bay Watch — Russian Style”

  1. I liked some of the Russian jokes but the only other thing I have to add to this posting is that Russian men, just like many other European men still wear Speedos as opposed to baggy pants. I don’t want to start a discussion about the pros and cons of speedos though. Ha!

  2. I don’t get the hubba balloo. He had to land. There was a nice stretch of beach. He landed. They got out of the way. Life goes on. Jeso.

  3. Dredd, Great bit! You only forgot the, “Make sure you tip your waitresses.”

  4. I’ve never had any use for the Hoff, but I think I need one of those hovercraft.

  5. “David Hasselhoff has expressed dismay after learning that a shop assistant was critically injured while trying to stop thieves from stealing signs featuring life-size images of him hawking iced coffee.”

    The man is an absolute menace to Russian society! I realize that when a Russian luminary is sunbathing and wants his iced coffee, yes, the govt. should get out the artillery and bring it to him, but have some discretion! Pretty nouveau riche I’d say!

  6. AY,

    reminds me of another one:

    A Russian bus driver and a Russian priest both die at the same time.

    The bus driver goes to Heaven but the priest ends up in Hell.

    Confused, the priest asks God “Why am I in Hell? I’ve devoted my life to your service and have never sinned. I don’t understand.”

    God replies “When people came to your church they fell asleep, but when people rode the bus they prayed for their lives!”

  7. The people handle it with humor often:

    Short Russia Jokes

    Q: How does every Russian joke start? A: By looking over your shoulder.

    Q: Whats the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn? A: Nothing, they’re both fictional characters

    Q: What’s meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union? A: It’s when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party’s.

    Q: What is 150 yards long and eats potatoes? A: A Moscow queue waiting to buy meat.

    Q: What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada User’s Manual? A: The bus and train timetables.

    Q: What is Communism? A: The Poles say it’s the longest and most painful of the roads to capitalism.

    Q: What do you call a gassy russian? A: Vladimir Tootin

    Q: What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles? A: Electricity.

    Q: Why wasn’t Jesus born in Russia? A: He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.


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