-Submitted by David Drumm (Nal), Guest Blogger
The Mirror and Daily News reported that Maria Kislo, 12, of Leszno, Poland, was found hanged in her bedroom. She left a short note: “Dear Mum. Please don’t be sad. I just miss daddy so much, I want to see him again.” Maria’s father died in 2009 from a sudden heart attack. There appears to be reason to doubt the veracity of this story.
A review of Polish news sources reveals:
First and foremost, there was no suicide note. Maria’s motivations are a mystery. The police are investigating her computer and diaries, but refrain from commenting on any clues they may have found so far. Secondly, Maria’s father didn’t die of a heart attack, but was brutally shot to death by his new girlfriend’s brother-in-law in 2009, about six months after Maria’s parents’ divorce. Thirdly, Maria’s mother wasn’t going to read a bedtime story to a 12-year-old, but just started wondering why the girl was staying so long alone in her room supposedly reading a book.
The four year lapse between her father’s death and her suicide bothered me.
H/T: Terry Firma.
bettykath,
The point of the story is that I screwed up. In the original post, I assumed the original articles were accurate. When I found out different, I changed the post. I considered deleting the whole post, but decided to leave the egg on my face visible to everyone.
“I see a lot of over the top skepticism and incredible lack of critical thinking on this blog”
You know Nick, I agree.
I’m having trouble finding the point of the story. My understanding is that the girl committed suicide. A very sad happening. Why she did this is unknown. There was no note.
Is the point of the story how tabloids make stuff up to sell papers? if so, this point seems to be missed by those commenting.
If it’s intended as discussion of whether or not it’s a good idea to believe in heaven or to teach children about heaven, then a better example would be a child who actually committed suicide because of her/his belief and who left a note expressing this. This is not such a case.
Ah, the relentless attack on religion. For all you ultra-intelligent and so-open minded people assuming – and deciding – for the rest of us that “the deity” and the existence of an afterlife is not something to bet on. Thanks for the assumption. Going further, I request in advance your forgiveness for my lack of intelligence and need for an emotional crutch – and for pointing out the painfully f@*#king obvious, but, of course, being an assumption, your assumption begs the question. There is another question you ought earnestly wrestle with first.
@Mike Spindell As an non-practicing Jew, I totally agree with you. The one thing we were never bombarded with in Hebrew school or in synagogue was the dialog about heaven and hell. The focus was on living a good life, and that God wanted us to do good for others. I may have fallen in the God portion, but the doing good for others has, hopefully, stuck. After all, isn’t that what we’re living for? Not some vague thought of an afterlife that might or might not be there.
“I have no idea if there will be an “afterlife”, but I’m damned sure trying to make my life and others a good one right here and now.”
Right on!
Ditto RTC!!!
What OS said.
It sure looks like the girl killed herself because of her belief in an afterlife, but I actually doubt this. Belief in an afterlife appears not to be a statistically significant predictor of suicide. What clear is such a predictor is depression. The girl was understandably depressed, having had to cope with a powerfully tragic family loss. It seems to me to be irresponsible to ignore the relevance of her depression and focus instead on the rationalization she offered for her action.
Consider the all-too-common case of someone who commits suicide out of depression over lost love. Suppose someone opines that the fault lies with the social myth that “true love is forever” or that people have “soul mates”, etc. Even if it is true that love is overly idealized in society, it is unlikely that this is really the true cause, even if the person leaves a note saying, “She was the only one for me. Without her life is not worth living.”
I disagree. I think the girl definitely believed (was taught) in the afterlife and death was the vehicle to take her there where her daddy “lived” on. She did not want her mom to be sad with her gone, thus the note but there was nothing final in the note like I will see you there one day (because she knew she would never be able to return). I believe in her young mind she would only be gone for a short while until she wanted to see her mom again at which time she would come back.. not thinking beyond seeing her daddy. We do not think clearly when we have lost a part of our lives and as a child there is no one else but mom and dad. She simply wanted to see her daddy again
Children have a different view of death than adults. Most people don’t understand this, and assume kids think like adults. Take the concept of death. Up until about age seven, children cannot grasp the idea of permanence, so dying is more like Wiley Coyote falling off a thousand foot cliff, only to be back in the next scene setting another trap for the Roadrunner. After about age eight, they understand the dead don’t come back, but continue to exist in a kind of romanticized state. Mark Twain captured that beautifully in Tom Sawyer, where Tom imagines being dead and all the people, including Becky Thatcher, making a scene over his coffin while he gets to watch.
Children’s ability to comprehend varies by age, but understanding depends on passing through developmental stages. This little girl had not reached a stage where she could reason through the devastating effect her death would have on her living family. No doubt, the family had unwittingly contributed to her notions by indoctrinating her in the fashion mentioned upthread by Mike Spindell. “Better place” and so forth.
There are some conditions of living that are worse than death, but I am not sure the alternative should be characterized as a better place. My personal view is that the dead are now at peace, which is a true statement if there has been terminal suffering. Language is powerful, especially where children are concerned. Unless the kid is exceptional, they don’t do verbal abstraction well and take things literally.
I was “raised” Catholic and was always told that suicide was a sin and you would not go to heaven if you killed yourself. I am not sure what I believe now that I am an adult. I suppose I have always been a seeing is believing type of person. So, my faith is now questionable being that I have never seen anything that gives truth to heaven or hell for the matter. I think the little girl did not realize that once a person dies there is no turning back to your life. Death is final. So very sad.
A quick review of the tragic death of this sweet girl shows the same pathology of the dead adjunct professor by fringe media. Unions made the adjunct professor a martyr, atheists are making this 12 year old girl a martyr. If you push it enough then the holy roller media will respond and then, gosh darnit, we got us a holy/unholy war that the MSM will pick up on.
Teaching children (or anybody) irrational nonsense can have tragic (and otherwise) harmful effects. That’s the damage that a belief in a supernatural, imaginary deity can have on all of us. People use these beliefs, and the horrible “morality” outlined in the Bible, as justification for all kinds of harmful acts; and for government, which only grows more corrupt, every time.
So yes, it does affect us all.
Such a sad, sad story. No matter what drove this child to this act, it should be highlighted and brought into the open to prevent other children from taking this drastic step.
“While a belief in heaven may comfort the grieving, no one should bet their life on it.”
David,
Beautifully put. I’ve attended far too many funerals in my life including those of my parents. Whenever someone in their discomfit says something like “they’re in a better place” it sets my teeth on edge. For many people who live off of the money garnered from pushing their religious beliefs, The idea(l) of Heaven provides a perfect scam. With it, ones’ fervent belief may well contrast with the despair of their existence and the Preacher (purveyor) can explain away the pain by saying there’s a better place in the sky.
Those of the Christian and Islamic faiths that push this (not all of those faiths do) are really putting emphasis on welcoming death, rather than living life. Heaven has always been merely a marketing tool for religion and as such has been a disaster for humanity. By celebrating death and the hope of a better existence in heaven, one devalues life. As a Deist Jew I have no idea if there will be an “afterlife”, but I’m damned sure trying to make my life and others a good one right here and now. By the way Judaism for the most part is mute on life after death and is to be a celebration of life. Maybe that’s why it’s been around for so many years, despite its unpopularity in some areas, because it resonates with the reality of living a good life for no other reward than it’s the right thing to do. Nevertheless, many Jews cling to a vague notion of Heaven, because as humans it is so painful to imagine the end of our existence and we need the comfort that it won’t end with our foreordained mortality.
She might be next to daddy if they buried her in a casket in a cemetery next to his grave. But, if they cremated her then its ashes to ashes dust to dust.
nal:
correct me if I am wrong but doesnt Christianity teach suicide is a sin?
Why does it matter if someone is religious? How does that affect you? Why are so many atheists militant about it? Everyone is entitled to their belief.
nick:
I am fairly certain that a heartbroken child might just do that.
Did you really use the trajedy of this girl’s suicide to make a comment about Atheism? I am trying to see what other motivation you could possibly have.
Your should be removed from this blog.
Incredibly sad. I’m fairly certain there’s more to it than what is expressed in the note.
Children have stronger beliefs than we realize sometimes.
Oh my…. This touches my being….