Bizarre, Society

Building Character the Richie Incognito/Ron English Way

By Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

Late Fall 1975, I was sitting in my living room that we never sat in with my father’s  tie on.  A coach from some nondescript college was talking to my Dad about me coming to play for him. “Never saw a missed block all night,” he crooned. “Your son can play.” My Dad, obviously flattered, asked the coach about academics and was edified that “Look, the books are the same wherever he goes, but we can do more for him. We can make him a man … you know, build his character.”  “That’s our job,” Dad replied. Dad ushered him politely out of the house.

South Beach Bully

dolphins-camp-footballThe nation’s been riveted by the revelations coming out of the Miami Dolphins locker room. Stanford educated right tackle Jonathan Martin abruptly left the team before a big game and checked into a local hospital claiming emotional exhaustion. The fatigue was not caused by the grinding NFL schedule but, according to Martin, from constant bullying by fellow offensive lineman Richie Incognito and others over a two-year period. Martin’s lawyers filed a complaint with the league for denying their client the right to earn a living by promoting or permitting  a hostile work environment. Proven league bad-boy Incognito was suspended indefinitely.

A victim of bullying himself (according to his dad who makes Jim Piersall’s father look positively Howard Cunningham-ish by comparison-just read his message board comments sometimes), Incognito claims the coaches asked him to “toughen up” Martin. The Dolphins refuse to admit or deny any role in the hazing despite some persistent questioning from the press on the topic. Nicknamed “Big Weirdo” by Incognito and other NFL millionaires, Martin played left tackle for tough guy coach Jim Harbaugh during his college career and anchored one of the meanest o-lines in the country at Stanford. No matter, in today’s thuggish NFL because second round pick Martin didn’t drink, carouse, use racial epithets, get into fights with waiters, and generally behave the fool (like allegedly  harassing women with a golf club to their private parts)  like Incognito, Martin was not of the right stuff. Didn’t have the right character, you know.

Once the guffaws died down in the locker room, Martin’s teammates were quick to come to Incognito’s defense. Incognito, they said was Martin’s “best friend” and protector. Despite a grotesque voice mail message where Incognito called the mixed race Martin a “half-ni**er” and threatened to defecate in places too obscene to mention, the gridiron pros from South Beach decided breaking the Code of Silence so prevalent in all all-male institutions was worse than threatening to  assault someone’s mother or vowing to kill a teammate or wishing to take part in a gang rape of your sister.”If I’m not mistaken,” one teammate said, Martin played the voice mail before members of the locker room fraternity laughing all the way. “If I’m not mistaken”? You’d think you’d recall with certainty the biggest story in the country’s key piece of damning evidence, but group think does have the tendency to make your forget facts and perhaps even morals, it seems.

Heartfelt From the Heartland

Change the scene from sin-city Miami to America’s heartland in Ypsilanti, Michigan: Former hot college coach Ron English, once defensive coordinator at football factory Michigan and other lesser members of the football cabal which dominates our consciousness on Saturday afternoons — and Tuesday nights, and Thursday nights, takes a new job and vows to “change the culture” at hapless Eastern Michigan University. That was 2008 and four plus years later all the Eagles have to show for that culture change is a 1-8 record this season losing eight straight games by an average score of 48-18. The previous years under English weren’t much better. He’s gone 11-46 since his arrival. Now frustrated at his players lack of “character,” English lashes out at the 18-22 years olds who beat themselves silly every day risking real injury as football’s concussion scandal has now shown,  trying to please the man in the green golf shirt with the whistle around his neck:

* “You’ll always be (bleeped) up.”

* “How did so many young guys go bad?”

* “This is (bleep) football, as bad as I’ve ever been around.”

* “You have no respect for yourself.”

* “I respect football players … you ain’t no football players.”

You can listen to the “character building” yourself. Warning:  Poor audio containing  harsh but common football language including the seemingly obligatory homophobic slur:

Recorded by a player, the rant forced English out as coach even before his winning (or lack thereof) percentage did. The mavens of academe (who obviously have a wolf by the ears) issued a statement that reads  like an epistle from St. Paul:

“We hold our coaches and staff to high standards of professionalism and conduct and there is no place, particularly in a student environment, where the language is appropriate. The statements made by Coach English are absolutely unacceptable. My decision to make a change in leadership of our football program was the culmination of a lot of factors including the comprehensive review of our program, the competitive performance and this tape.

“Our primary interest is in the well-being and success of our student-athletes and this will continue to be our priority in every decision we make and every action we take. My focus moving forward is on the quality of our student-athletes’ experience as well as the search process for the next leader of our football program.”

Well, maybe it reads more like an episode from Lassie: “What’s that girl? You say there’s bullying going on by adults over teenagers and 20-year olds who come to our school? Quick, Lassie get to the university legal affairs office for help! We need a statement now.”

What kind of character?

Maybe, if I was more savvy back in 1975  I would have the presence of mind to ask the coach in my living room just what kind of character he had in mind for me.  Judging by the two recent debacles I think I’m getting the idea. I was to be machismo incarnate — tough,  hostile to gays, intolerant of  “weakness” real or imagined.  A carouser, a harasser of women, respecting only those in  the game and no one not associated with its savage charms, in short I was to be a football player in today’s NFL.

The sad and ironic thing is that the game really can build character. Time and scores of kids I’ve coached have showed me that. It can take shy kids like I was  and, when it’s done right, allow them to earn confidence and acquire leadership skills.  My high school coaches, as imperfect as they were, showed me that but I was too immature to see it. At 18, all I could understand was that Dad had just dismissed one of the few coaches in the world who thought I was good enough to put on a jersey for their team.  How could Dad take away my dreams and forgo whatever financial scholarship  bone the coach was willing to throw my way? Boy in 1975, I was mad.

Thanks, Dad.

Sources:  USA Today; NY Daily News

~Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

119 thoughts on “Building Character the Richie Incognito/Ron English Way”

  1. nick:

    He was voted team captain after his second week in Madison. That says something.

  3. Mespo, Wilson obviously had a good upbringing and I’m certain you were part of it. I took my Jersey friends visiting to the Badger game on Saturday vs. BYU. We sat near some BYU fans and there was culture shock on their faces @ the infamous profane cheer from the student section and the drinking before and after the game. However, Russell Wilson gave a recorded statement on the Jumbotron for Veteran’s Day and the BYU fans obviously like Russell Wilson. In just one year in Wi. that man made a great and lasting impression.

  4. And what is to be said of a culture that produces bullies like Incognito–a culture that defends the behavior of someone like him? All too often we see talented male athletes–both black and white–who get away with all types of bad behaviors from high school through college and on into pro sports. It is the victims–including rape victims–of the bullies who are often castigated by others.

  6. nick spinelli:

    Ditto my experience. Russell Wilson, Seattle’s QB, is a Richmond native and a kid I coached and who grew up with my son, Mark. He came from a loving two parent home with an incredible structure and desire to do what is best for the kids. Sadly Russell’s dad, Harry, passed away before Russell was drafted. Russell and his siblings have all excelled scholastically and athletically and are fine young people. His sister is now matriculating to Stanford and I predict she will be a stellar athlete. Apples do not fall far from the trees.

  7. Mespo, With the advent of Google my wife and I will be watching a sporting event. We’ll see someone behaving like Dez Bryant and then research his background. We’ve done this many times and almost invariably, the athlete was brought up in a chaotic, fatherless, home. There are many examples in the opposite category. Whitlock offers the great Calvin Johnson. What made me start noticing this polarity in behavior was one of my favorite athletes of all time, Barry Sanders. Sanders made some of the most incredible, electric, TD runs of all time. Those awesome displays of athletic ability were not demeaned by chest thumping or interpretive clown dances, but merely by handing the football to the ref. Sanders grew up in a home w/ a strong father figure.

  8. MIke S & Oky:

    In a subsequent article commenting on the acceptance y black players of Richie Incognito’s blatant racism, Whitlock goes on to say:

    “Richie is honorary,” a black former Dolphins player told Miami Herald reporter Armando Salguero. “I don’t expect you to understand because you’re not black. But being a black guy, being a brother is more than just about skin color. It’s about how you carry yourself. How you play. Where you come from. What you’ve experienced. A lot of things.”

    I’m black. And I totally understand the genesis of this particular brand of stupidity and self-hatred. Mass Incarceration, its bastard child, Hurricane Illegitimacy, and their marketing firm, commercial hip-hop music, have created a culture that perpetrates the idea that authentic blackness is criminal, savage, uneducated and irresponsible. The tenets of white supremacy and bigotry have been injected into popular youth culture. The blackest things a black man can do are loudly spew the N-word publicly and react violently to the slightest sign of disrespect or disagreement.

    Here’s that one:

    http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9941696/jonathan-martin-walked-twisted-world-led-incognito

    1. “Richie is honorary,” a black former Dolphins player told Miami Herald reporter Armando Salguero. “I don’t expect you to understand because you’re not black. But being a black guy, being a brother is more than just about skin color. It’s about how you carry yourself. How you play. Where you come from. What you’ve experienced. A lot of things.”

      This is a seriously stupid statement, uttered more because of Incognito’s value to the team as a player. Racism could also be ascribed to people using Black people who talk nonsense and holding them up as having an important voice in their community. How many black people supported Herman Cain for office? Does Clarence Thomas speak for the Black community?

  9. Mike & Oky:

    I think Whitlock is saying rampant illegitimacy (he calls it “Hurricane Illegitimacy”) is causing the self-loathing on an individual level which in turn gives rise to social problems in that community. He draws a distinction between raising a child by parents and just growing up without parental involvement and believes two committed parents are needed even if there is a divorce.

    Here’s Whitlock’s analysis:

    Let’s call it “Hurricane Illegitimacy.”

    Its victims are primarily black and brown, but Hurricane Illegitimacy is not a black or brown problem. It’s an American problem that is denied and exacerbated on the left and mischaracterized and exploited on the right.

    Like climate change, Hurricane Illegitimacy is powered by man-made factors:

    1. A lack of proper restraints on welfare entitlement programs for single mothers and fathers.

    2. America’s bogus war on poor people who use and sell drugs.

    3. Turning incarceration into a for-profit business model.

    4. A refusal to recognize that investment in the education of our poorest and weakest citizens could strengthen our entire society.

    5. Our collective lack of courage and resolve to combat popular-culture forces that celebrate, normalize and profit from baby-mama and criminal culture.

    Because of this melting-pot-country’s history, we’ve been conditioned to identify the race of a person misbehaving and examine the racial implications. We would be far better served looking at the family history.

    I tend to agree. Here’s the full article about the problem:

    http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9913252/behind-bryant-tantrums

    1. “1. A lack of proper restraints on welfare entitlement programs for single mothers and fathers.”

      Mark,

      Of the 5 points this is one I can’t agree with, because historically the truth is that Welfare encouraged and created the illegitimacy he abhors. When welfare was instituted and just before the time I started to work in welfare, a mother would lose her welfare if it was found that her child(ren)s’ father was living at home. When I started as a caseworker, those older workers would tell me about the midnight raids they used to go on to find out if there was a man in the home. When I was trained as a worker part of what we were told was that in making a home visit we should check out the bathroom and medicine cabinets to see if there was evidence of a male (father) resident. This was the institutionalization/encouragement of illegitimacy. The analysis that he gives would be one that has broad appeal but it is really ignorant of the nuances and ignores the economic context of racism that has caused this situation.

  11. BTW, FYI,

    Native Americans were not stupid, they had their ears to the ground.

    One of things I’ve learned from them,.. is here, starting today, attempt to minimize your conflicts til 3 days past the 17 of Nov.

    It doesn’t cost me/you anything not lose battles or make un-needed enemies, I’m not saying… it’s just a road sign.

    Keep it tight.

    In Native American Culture, the squaw always gets to keep the tee-pee…. It’s common Law

    🙂

  12. **mespo727272 1, November 11, 2013 at 10:21 pm

    Nick:
    Whitlock is unafraid to speak his truth based on his experience. I applaud him for that. He places many of the woes facing black America on self-loathing and rampant illegitimacy in that community. I think he is very insightful.
    **

    Mespo, no ball bat need here to defeat your logic.

    If the current US Nazi Ph’ing govt was not doping/poisoning so many citizens then this Whitlock whoever might have a leg to stand on.

    I’ve not the time to rehash, you boys should take your time to dig though the pile of over whelming evidence.

    CDC= spreading STDs, etc….., Red Cross, Gerry Falwell/Liberty University of Satan or something.. crap… Praise Jeebus, Ronnie Raygun & the Bush Family of Commie/Nazis.

    Sorry, didn’t mean for your to get me started again. lol

  13. Nick:
    Whitlock is unafraid to speak his truth based on his experience. I applaud him for that. He places many of the woes facing black America on self-loathing and rampant illegitimacy in that community. I think he is very insightful.

    1. “He places many of the woes facing black America on self-loathing and rampant illegitimacy in that community. I think he is very insightful.”

      Mark and Nick,

      One doesn’t have to have much insight to understand that self-loathing and illegitimacy are indeed major problems in the Black community, but where does it come from and when have those forces that pushed the myths of Black inferiority upon them abated? It is all well and good to say that individuals must at some point take responsibility for their own lives, but like all else in life there is a context. White America has an unbroken history of loathing for Black people on a cultural and institutional basis. Grow up with that cultural loathing hanging over your head and grow up in poverty, then see how easy it is to escape. The miracle of Blacks in America is not how badly they’ve done handicapped by this, but how well so many have succeeded.

      If you tell me that is a thing of the past I will merely point you to New York City where there have been 800,000 illegal, embarrassing stops of people of color. What message of inferiority and hopelessness does that send to a young black man and how can he not internalize it even subconsciously?

  14. Mespo, I routinely read Jason Whitlock. He continually speaks about the “black prison culture” and gets a lot of shit from black and white elitists. This piece you linked is consistent w/ his unabashed, non PC analysis of not just Incognito and Martin, but the morally bankrupt culture too many black folk fail to confront openly and honestly. Very good post. I went to see the Packers yesterday. I brought a couple friends who flew in from Jersey and my son. Two of us were pleased.

  15. Mespo:

    I can see how that could get out of hand.

    From what the conclusion says, it seems it wasnt hazing per se that was a problem but the level to which some upperclassman took it to.

    What was hazing like when the great leaders of WWII went to the academies? Those men were certainly consistent with academy goals.

    Maybe the problem isnt hazing but the sort of young men doing the hazing?

    Maybe the academies should do what many private sector companies do and test for young people who will do well in leadership positions. I imagine there are personality types which have traits which would make them good leaders. Just because you have a 4.00, are captain of the football team and got 2200 on your sats doesnt necessarily determine how well you will do under stress.

  16. Bron:

    In 1989, the USMA commissioned a study of Fourth Class Knowledge (institutionalized hazing). Here are the conclusions from a subsequent report on the topic:

    An institutional self study completed in July 1989 confirmed that the
    Fourth Class System actually worked against leader development in some ways because of elements it contained that proved inconsistent with Academy outcome goals. While the written philosophy for the system appeared acceptable, actual practice had consistently deviated from approved norms of positive leadership and respect for the individual. The study noted that history had shown discrepancy between authorized behavior as prescribed under the system, and what cadets had perceived to be countenanced behavior. Too frequently cadets had subverted those activities permitted by the Fourth Class System to their own ends. The study found that one of the processes contributing most directly to inconsistency in the development of stated goals was the nature of one-way communication between Plebes and upperclassmen.    .

  17. mespo:

    Why didnt it work? When I was in college I met a couple of guys who left because they didnt like the hazing. I spoke to one in particular at length, he really did not want to be a military officer and was doing it for his father. Had there not been hazing, he probably would have stuck with it and spent 5 years and been out.

    To train an officer costs a good deal of money and time, wouldnt hazing separate those who want to serve and have a real passion from those who just want a free education?

    Making someone eat a “square meal” or reciting something while being yelled at isnt exactly harsh.

    What is hazing anyway? My brother went through a program where they waterboarded him and did other unpleasant things as part of his training as to what it would be like as a POW. That sounds like hazing on steroids.

  18. Bron:

    The service academies have very strict anti-hazing policies since 1990. The military realized long ago it is counterproductive and a hinderance to morale. I just heard a military trainer who works for the NYFD explain that old school thinking in the military is no longer tolerated. He said it isn’t because it didn’t work and reduced readiness.

  19. woosty:

    they haze at the service academies or at least they used to.

    I think it serves a valid function, if you cant handle a little bit of hazing by upperclassmen, how are you going to function on a battlefield?

  20. “contemptuous of Martin for not standing up to Incognito, who has been described as insane and frightening”

    I wonder if he feared that if he stood up to Incognito he would have the rest of the team against him. Based on the team’s reaction now, it would not have surprised me.

    Perhaps Martin didn’t want to stoop to Incognito’s level, that it was pointless to stand up to an animal, that he would retain his dignity by just leaving. If he had just stood up to Incognito, this story wouldn’t have blown wide open; it likely would have just stayed in the locker room.

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