By Darren Smith, Weekend Contributor
Your author recently purchased some decorative garden lights at a garage sale and found that they could have endangered his family. Being a typical man, he took the lights out of the box and assembled them without reading important safety warnings in the owner’s manual. Fortunately providence offered protection despite such negligence.
As a public service, we have provided the opportunity for others to avoid such hazards. Please read below the fold for some important safety information.
The owner’s manual for these garden lights actually lists the following hazards to be considered during assembly:
Important Safety Information
- Assemble only according to these instructions. Improper assembly can create hazards
- Wear ANSI-approved safety goggles during assembly
- Keep assembly area clean and well lit
- Keep bystanders out of the area during assembly
- Do not assemble when tired or when under the influence of drugs or medication
- Position battery in proper polarity and do not install batteries of different types, charge levels, or capacities together
- WARNING: The brass components of this product contain lead, a chemical known in the State of California to cause birth defects (or other reproductive harm). (California Health & Safety Code Section 25249.5 et. seq.)
- This is not a toy.
- Do not allow children to play with or near this item
- Use as intended only
The manufacturer went to great lengths it seems to bring such a product to homes and gardens in America. A lot of good men were lost. Hopefully future customers wanting happy, colorful garden night lights will be safe and the past sacrifices of these unsuspecting men, too eager to assemble butterflies without reading the directions first, will not have been in vain.
By Darren Smith
The views expressed in this posting are the author’s alone and not those of the blog, the host, or other weekend bloggers. As an open forum, weekend bloggers post independently without pre-approval or review. Content and any displays or art are solely their decision and responsibility.
Author is not responsible for any injuries or deaths resulting from looking at the garden lights.
Bettykath,
It’s an anti-personnel mine.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claymore_mine
Following up on my own post: I once worked with a guy who, as a child before the advent of kill switches, walked up to a running lawn mower and somehow cut his hand off.
Mr Keebler wrote “Why do we have kill switches on lawn mowers?”
Yes, adults have sometimes been the victim of their own stupidity. However, little children have also been the victims. Were they just collateral damage?
Solar powered are safer.
Nevertheless, read the instructions.
And heed the warnings.
It actually saves time.
Dredd – you have done a scientific study on this?
I can’t imagine eating a Claymore or burning it. I have no enemies to point it at. And, except for the print labeling front and back, I wouldn’t be able to tell front from back. I might turn it in for scrap metal though. Maybe the guy there would know what to do with it. btw, I have no idea what a Claymore is.
Some warning are REQUIRED by law on certain types of products. I was surprised the warnings were only in English on the Claymore. I would have thought a variety of languages or at a website with translations or an 800 number to call would have be appropriate.
On coffee cups…
Caution: Hot Coffee
Let’s see… generating electricity and installation of PVC.
Hit the switch!
Assemble after?
Hilarious video Chuck!
This was pretty funny. I think we know where many lawyers are now employed preparing warning sheets for American consumers. I was sure of this when I saw my new toaster (already assembled) had a warning notice that told me to unplug the toaster when I left the house!
I’ll bet each one of these absurd warnings came from a lawsuit. You know there is a warning on some ladders not to stand them in frozen manure?
A couple of years ago, I went to the mountains with my family. There were “no snow play” signs ALL over. My son was too small to go on the inner tube ride. So, there we were, trying to tell him not to play in the snow he was standing in. The workers kept apologizing to us when they reminded us to stop our toddler from playing in the snow.
They said that people wouldn’t watch their kids, who would either rough house and slip-and-fall, or they would run in front of the inner tube and get run over.
So . . . now there is “no snow play.” You would think the outcome would be “watch your own kids” or “you should know better than to think solar ornaments were edible.” But this is the logical outcome from a litigious society.
I don’ t think there is a sign for it, but there should be. Don’t eat the yellow snow.
no small parts that might be a choking hazard?
I bought a new pair of binoculars for surveillance back in the 90’s. It had a warning not to look directly into the sun while using them. We can thank ambulance chasers for all this insane warnings. Because, behind every mind boggling warning, there is a lawsuit.
I am surprised the box contained the instructions and/or they were in a language you could understand.
Now, the exploding Martha Stewart tables are a different beast. You don’t have to do anything but be seated. Kaboom, then glass flys.
Unfortunatly the are doofus that exist in society that have a hard time understanding basic instructions. They mess up and it’s somebodies fault.
Why do we have kill switches on lawn mowers? Some drunk picked up his mower while drinking to trim the hedges and lost its fingers. Serves the drunk right. I’ve figured out a way around it, but it’s stoopid to have to do that.
The little canaries in the coal mine of an overly litigious society.
Darren,
I am not sure that you have enough warnings! 🙂
I, too, assembled a set of these ornaments a couple of years ago for my garden area. Without reading the directions. More specifically, in non-compliance. I know the statute of limitations is not up yet and I’ve been looking anxiously over my fence ever since for a visit from the long arm of the law.